


For Me, Not For You

by ChickenXD



Series: Nobody Else Above You [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Hank Anderson, Comfort/Angst, Crime Scenes, Daddy Issues, Domestic, Drunk Sex, Family Secrets, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, M/M, Party, Past Gavin/Connor, Role Reversal, that's for u connor baby boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-06-11 06:50:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15309789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenXD/pseuds/ChickenXD
Summary: (post revolution, reverse au)Connor’s eyes lit up as he noticed Hank walking closer, and quickly ran over to him.“Hank, oh my god.”Connor hugs him tightly, burying his face in Hank’s shoulder. Hank slowly raises his arm and hugs him back.Connor’s crying.Hank hates seeing and hearing him cry – especially this time, since he caused it.“I’m sorry, Hank, fuck, I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, “I’m a dumb bitch and I got you in danger. I…”“Don’t worry about it,” Hank holds him tighter, “It’s over now, Connor.”





	1. Chapter 1

“Looking good, Detective.”

Connor turns to look at Hank, who’s standing by the door. 

He’s wearing a light brown suit, complemented with a dark blue tie, and his hair is tied into a little ponytail. Connor can feel the blood rushing to his cheek – it’s so strange looking at Hank outside of his android uniform, but damn does he look good… not that he doesn’t usually look good, but… you know. 

“Haven’t worn theses in forever,” Connor sighs as he buttons up his navy vest, and puts on the jacket. They feel a little tighter than he remembers, but they still fit him well. It’s not like he has anything else to wear, anyway.

“A red tie would look good on you,” Hank suggests, “Just to give it a little pop of color.”

“When did you become a fashion expert?” Connor opens his drawer, “I don’t know if I even have a red tie…”

He does, apparently – just a simple maroon silk tie. Now let’s see if he remembers how to properly tie one of these – when was the last time he had to do this? Christmas?

The bigger end should hang longer, and then it goes in front of the smaller end, right? Then wrap it around, pull it into the loop around his neck, and then… uh...

He can’t help but feel a little self-conscious under Hank’s gaze – fuck, he must be doing it wrong. 

“Give me a sec,” Connor sighs as he undoes it, “I got it, I got it.”

“You were on the right track, Detective.”

“Well, don’t give me that look, then.”

He decides to do exactly what he did – bigger end is longer, wrap it around the other end, put it into the loop… what’s next? 

“Do it again, from the other side.”

“The other side?”

He puts the bigger end through the loop again, at the exact same spot – wait, that doesn’t look right – it just looks unbalanced now. 

“I think it would be faster if I do it for you, Detective.”

“Fine,” Connor sighs. Hank steps closer to him and undoes the tie again – 

Connor observes as Hank ties the tie – it seems like Hank deliberately does it a little slower so that Connor can watch and learn, too. 

“Oh, you mean like, the other side of the short one.”

Hank nods as he puts the tie through the loop. Now the knot is forming a nice, even triangle – Connor tilts his head upwards slightly as Hank tugs to adjust the tightness of the tie.

“You should have more practice, Detective,” Hank said with a smile, “Maybe if you stop wearing sweatshirts to work.”

“Why should I do this every morning when I can have more time to sleep?” 

“Because you look handsome and sharp,” Hank compliments as he steps back, “If you dress like this to the station every day, I’m sure everyone would have a better opinion of you.”

Connor knows that’s probably not true, but… he’s happy to be showered by Hank’s compliments. (Part of it must be fueled by the absence of a father figure in his life.)

“Well, anyway,” Connor looks away, trying to hide his blushing face, “We’ve got a party to get to.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, you don’t look like shit for once!”

Connor sighs quietly as he sees Gavin walking over to him. He’s also dressed in a nice black suit, and he’s already holding a glass of wine. 

“Oh, and you too, old man,” Gavin greets Hank, “CyberLife gave you that suit?”

“Yes,” Hank replies, “It’s among my customization options.”

“Are you sure Connor didn’t–”

“Don’t humor him, Hank,” Connor sighs, “The fuck do you want, Gavin?”

“Let’s see who gets laid tonight,” Gavin said, smiling cheekily, “How many do you think you’re gonna score, Connor?”

“I’m just here for the booze, man.”

“You always say that and end up sucking ten dicks before you leave, don’t you?”

He lightly nudges Gavin in the ribs, “Piece of shit.”

Wow thanks Gavin, Hank definitely did not need to hear that. Connor quickly glances at Hank to see if he’s going to react – that doesn’t seem to be the case. 

“Well anyway good luck to you!” Gavin says, patting his shoulder as he leaves. 

Connor quietly looks up at Hank to see if he’s going to say anything now that Gavin left, but it seems like Hank has been scanning their surroundings. 

Maybe he didn’t hear  _ that _ part after all. That’s… good. 

Connor likes parties, just like any other single men of his age would. It’s free food, free booze, sometimes there’s someone hot that he can take home (or take him home) – it’s a good waste of time. Being drunk in public means pretending to be happy, something Connor’s good at; being drunk at home means getting lectured by Hank and maybe crying himself to sleep.

Besides, CyberLife hosted this party, so it’s got to be good. They’re celebrating the reunification of humans and androids or whatever, which is a little weird but CyberLife – more specifically, Elijah Kamski – has been pretty supportive of androids getting their independence, so whatever. Maybe it’s just a party for the sake of a party.

 

“Captain Fowler and Detective Collins are standing over there.”

“Shit, Hank, I’m not gonna go talk to them,” Connor replied as he picks up some cocktail shrimp from the buffet, “Not unless they call me or I bump into them. I see them every day in the station, that’s enough.”

“I was just pointing it out.”

“I’m gonna go talk to other people, you know, make some friends…” He turns to Hank, “You too, Hank, like, you don’t have to keep following me. Go socialize.”

Hank seems perplexed at this proposition. 

“Like…” Connor shrugs as he looks around the room, “I don’t know, there are a lot of other androids here. There’s Markus, right?”

Hank turns to look in the direction Connor’s looking at, and indeed, that’s Markus, talking to a bunch of other humans and androids who must be eager to hear his side of the story. 

“Or is it too awkward because you worked for CyberLife?”

“I frankly don’t know if he has a good opinion on me,” Hank replied, “But I suppose I can try talking to him.”

“Yeah, it might be a good chance for you two to make up or something,” Connor suggests, as if it’s that easy. “If that doesn’t go well, just talk to other androids. It’s chill.”

“Well, well, if it isn’t Detective Connor Anderson and Hank.”

They both turn around and sees Elijah walking towards them, with Chloe following behind him. Elijah opens his arms to give Connor a hug. 

“Congratulations on your investigation, Connor.”

“Thank you!” Connor replied, “Hank really did all the work down at your warehouse. I was just, um... watching.” (Actually,  tricked and held hostage by the other Hank – but he’s not going to say that.)

Chloe’s LED turns yellow as she sends a signal at Hank that they should leave Connor and Elijah. 

“I’ll see you later, Detective.”

Connor’s too busy listening to whatever Elijah is talking about at this point, and just gives Hank a little nod. Hank turns away, and soon enough Chloe’s walking next to him. 

He can’t help but wonder if this is the same Chloe from the other day, the one he nearly shot in the head – but he’s not going to ask now, that would be weird. 

“I heard that you moved in with Detective Anderson?”

Hank nods. 

“How’s that going?”

“He definitely has more issues than I initially expected,” he replied, “He’s still young, so I believe he will overcome it with time.”

“I’m glad the two of you are getting along well,” she said. 

He turns around slightly to look at Connor – seems like he’s still talking with Elijah by the dining table. He’s too far away to hear anything, but they’re laughing a lot – seems like fun. 

“Are you worried about him?”

“A little,” he replies, “He keeps saying I’m treating him like a child, but I don’t know how else to do it.”

“What do you tell him?”

“Just the usual stuff – don’t drink too much, don’t smoke in your room, don’t sleep too late, please eat healthier…” He sighs, “I don’t know how he’ll listen to me.”

“You seem to care about him a lot,” she says as they stop walking, “That’s great, Hank, but you know, humans are different from us.”

He turns again as he notices that Connor and Elijah are moving away from the previous spot and closer to the stage, where Elijah introduces him to Markus and Simon. Hank can tell he’s a little uncomfortable with this – his mission until a few days ago was to hunt them down after all – but Connor still flashes his usual million dollar smile as he shakes their hands. 

“He’ll be fine, Hank,” she said, gently nudging his arm, “Just because he’s human doesn’t mean he’s incompetent.”

“But…”

“This is a completely safe situation,” she reassures him, “Elijah isn’t going to make him do anything weird. He’s just eating and talking to people.”

That... isn’t exactly comforting, considering that Elijah gave him a gun and told him to shoot her the other day – or is that normal in her standards? That would be kind of disturbing.

“Come on,” she said, “Let’s get something to drink.”

Hank turns to look at Connor one last time as she leads him away; he’s still with Elijah, but now they’ve moved to talk to another group of people – they probably work for CyberLife. 

He can’t help but notice Elijah’s hand on Connor’s back.

(It doesn’t sit right with him, for some reason.)

  
  
  


It’s been exactly one hour and forty three minutes since Hank last saw Connor. 

He went to get some thirium punch with Chloe, and soon they were joined by a few humans; mostly curious CyberLife employees. They were very interested in Hank – how did you realize you’re deviant? So is it difficult to work with a policeman? – then one conversation led to another, and soon they’ve exhausted their list of questions, told Hank they’ll see him around, and left. 

He tried to talk to a few androids – making friends, as Connor suggested – but most of the androids here are from Jericho, so they already knew everything there is to know about him. It’s nice to finally not be regarded as the enemy, but… they don’t have much else to talk about. 

Hank scans the room to try to find Connor, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Last time he was walking around with Elijah Kamski, wasn’t he?

He can detect Gavin Reed talking to some girls in one corner of the room, Ben Collins is getting some food from the table, Jeffrey Fowler is checking his phone near the stairs – Connor is with none of them. 

Maybe he’s in the bathroom? Hank decides to go check. 

  
  


The bathroom feels so different compared to the ballroom. 

There are a couple guys in the bathroom, taking a smoke break – they look up at him for a second, then return to their conversation. Hank stands in front of the sink and the faucet turns on as he places his hand under it – 

Two out of the five stalls are occupied. Connor was wearing brown leather shoes, and both of the men inside are wearing black shoes. 

Hank looks at himself in the mirror – he notices his LED is shining yellow. 

He sighs as he dries his hands and walks back out. 

 

It has now been one hour and fifty minutes. 

He scans the room one more time. Still no Connor. 

Where else could he be? Should he try harder to look for him?

  
  


“Everything okay, Hank?”

He turns to the voice calling him – it’s Simon. 

“Hi, Simon,” Hank replied, “I’m looking for Detective Anderson.”

“Oh, yes, I was talking to him earlier,” Simon replied, “I haven’t been keeping track of him, though.”

“That’s alright. So you haven’t seen him around, either?”

Simon shakes his head.

“Don’t worry too much about it,” Simon reassures him, “He’ll come back here sooner or later.”

Hank could only sigh, “...right.”

“Can I ask you something?” Simon points at his temple, where his LED should be – “Are you ever going to take yours off?”

“Not for the time being,” Hank replied, “Connor did ask me this, too, but I don’t see the benefit of it.”

“It would definitely help you blend in better with the other humans,” Simon replied, “But if you think you’d rather keep it, that’s fine, too.”

“Connor knows I’m an android anyway,” he replies, “I don’t think it would make any difference for him.”

Simon can’t help but smile. 

“He means the world to you, doesn’t he?”

  
  


It takes another 15 minutes before Hank’s scanner finally detects Connor. 

He has no idea where Connor appeared from, but just… there he was, getting champagne from a waiter. Hank quickly turns to walk to him. 

“There you are, Hank,” Connor remarks with a smile, “How’s it going?”

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh, I was just… out in the hallway,” Connor replied, “This magazine, uh, wanted to do an interview with me, so we figured we’d go somewhere quieter.”

Hank still scans Connor from head to toe. His blood alcohol level has definitely risen, but that aside he looks fine – nothing extraordinary to report. 

Maybe he was really out there giving an interview. That’s a relief. 

“So you’re a celebrity now, Detective,” Hank said, “What magazine was it?”

“It was Century, I think.”

“Everyone, if I may have your attention.”

They all turn to the stage, where Elijah and Markus are standing together – Elijah is holding a glass of champagne, while Markus is holding a glass of what seems to be thirium. 

“These past few days have seen many incredible and historic events,” he began, “This is just the beginning of what will be a wonderful future of integration between humans and androids and we will work to make it happen together.”  
They raise their glasses, and so does everyone in the room. 

“Thank you to every one of you who are here to witness this turning point in history! This marks the beginning of a new era!” 

  
  
  
  


Hank inputs the door password, and pushes the door open for Connor to walk in.

“We’re back!”

Sushi immediately gets up from his bed and runs over to Connor, who leans down to give him a pat on the head. 

“What’s up, Sushi? What did you do while we were gone?”

Sushi barks as Connor gets up.

“Yeah, sorry, buddy, didn’t bring any food home,” Connor said, “We’ll play tomorrow, yeah? I gotta shower.”

Sushi barks obediently and returns to his bed. Connor groans as he enters his room – he takes off his tie and throws it onto the dresser. 

He turns around as he’s taking off his socks, and notices Hank standing at the door. 

“What’s up, Hank?”

Hank walks closer and leans in for a kiss. Connor wraps his arms around Hank’s neck and pulls him closer as he sits down on the bed.  

“Did I tell you how hot you look with your hair up like that?” Connor whispers as he pulls on Hank’s hair tie – “You should do it more.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Connor hastily takes off Hank’s jacket as they kiss again – he feels Hank’s hand on his pants, impatiently tugging them down.

“You’re horny tonight.”

“You just look so damn good in your suit,” Hank replied, as he smells Connor’s hair. “Everyone in the room was looking at you.”

Smells like Connor – his sweat, and his usual pomade – maybe he was really out there giving an interview. 

“Does that make you jealous?”

 

Jealous. 

So is that what this feeling is called – that mix of sadness, anger, and guilt. He felt it when Gavin challenged Connor, when Elijah hugged Connor–

 

He quietly watches as Connor lays down and takes off his pants and boxers. He’s already pretty hard – he spreads his legs open and reaches down to stroke his dick slowly. 

But only Hank gets to see Connor like this, only he’s allowed to do this to Connor, and nobody else. 

“Come on, old man,” Connor moans loudly, “Are we fucking or not?”

Hank finally takes off his pants, and the bed creaks slightly as he gets on it. Connor raises both his legs and rests them on Hank’s shoulder – 

Hank inserts two fingers into his mouth, making sure to get them wet with saliva, before gently inserting them into Connor. Connor lets out a moan as Hank pushes deeper inside, and he knows he’s reached the prostate when Connor suddenly squeezes his eyes shut and throws his head back in pleasure. 

“Oh, fuck, it never gets old,” Connor moans – the alcohol’s made him more sensitive, and he strokes his dick quicker now, nerves on fire as he feels Hank’s fingers moving inside him. 

“Come on, Hank, I’m good,” Connor moans, “Just fuck me already.”

Hank ignores this, instead adding another finger into Connor. He looks up at Hank, and god, he looks so focused on pleasuring Connor, just as focused as when he’s analyzing a crime scene – 

Hank finally decides Connor’s warmed up enough, and pulls his fingers out. He stands up, places his hands on Connor’s hip to hold him steady, and then pushes in–

Connor lets out a loud moan as he feels Hank’s dick penetrate him – it hurts, but it a good kind of pain – feels like Hank’s just a little too big, pushing Connor’s limits as he goes deeper–

He used to ask Connor if he’s okay, because Connor seems to be in a lot of pain, but they’ve done it a few times now, so at this point he knows Connor’s going to be fine. 

He starts moving, thrusting slowly and carefully in the beginning, before he increases his pace – Connor moans every time Hank hits his prostate, one hand covering his face while the other holding onto the sheets – 

“I want to see your face.”

Hank suddenly pauses, his hand grabbing Connor’s hand that’s covering his face, and holds it down onto the mattress. Connor’s a writhing, moaning mess – tears welled up in his eyes, his breaths ragged as he tries to keep up–

“Please, Hank,” he begs, “I want you. It feels so good…”

He’s so beautiful. And nobody else is allowed to see him like this. 

Hank continues, thrusting quicker and deeper – Connor moans his name, louder and louder, his back arched from the mattress, his face twists from the pleasure that’s rushing through his body–

Connor throws his head back as he comes, his body shudders as he moans Hank’s name, spilling his load on his nice dress shirt. Hank comes a few seconds later, and Connor moans again as he feels the warm cum filling his ass.

  
  


“...do you actually like sex, Hank?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know, like…” Connor takes a few seconds to think about it, “What does it feel like for you when you fuck me? Do you feel pleasure like humans do?”

“I have receptors and sensors that tell–”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean…”

Connor sighs and shakes his head.

“I’m probably not making a lot of sense, huh? Forget it,” he said as he snuggles closer to Hank, “Good night.”

 

Hank sits there, watching Connor slowly drift to sleep. He always looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so childlike, so precious. 

Only Hank gets to see Connor like this, and nobody else. 

(Jealousy – Connor taught him a new emotion today.)

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ONE OF THE CUTEST/MOST DOMESTIC SHIT I'VE WRITTEN OKAY,

“Good morning, Detective.”

Connor doesn’t say anything as he walks out of his bedroom, and straight into the bathroom. He probably needs a shower after everything that happened last night. 

Hank sets down a plate of pancakes on the table before he sits down, waiting. 

Sushi is done eating his breakfast, and is now busy playing with his chew toy. He should really take Sushi on a walk, but not until Connor’s settled. Today’s Sunday, after all, Connor might have something planned.

 

He spent most of last night watching Connor instead of resting – it’s not that he needs it anyway. Connor’s chest rising and falling slightly with every breath, his heartbeat slow but stable, his face peaceful like a child. 

This “feeling” isn’t part of his program.

He still has no idea if these “feelings” are real – even though he’s gone deviant, they still seem so absurd to him sometimes. 

Connor’s absolutely right; he’s not a child anymore. He can be a little reckless sometimes, but he can watch his own back – Hank doesn’t have to watch his every move. Even Chloe and Simon told him the same thing. 

He doesn’t know why, but he just can’t help it. 

 

Connor steps out of the shower ten minutes later, wearing a Detroit Police hoodie and boxers. Sushi walks up to him excitedly, and Connor leans down to pet him.

“Hey, Sushi,” he said with a smile, “Did you eat your breakfast yet, buddy?”

Sushi barks excitedly. 

“Yes, yes, we’ll go to the park after this,” Connor said, “I’ll just eat something real quick.”

He sits down in front of Hank and starts eating while scrolling through his phone. He would smile or giggle every time few seconds–

Connor’s shown him some “memes” before. These things always make Connor laugh for some reason, and Hank could never quite understand why. They’re just pictures with rather disjointed captions – sometimes they don’t even have anything to do with the picture, but those would make Connor laugh the hardest. For example that picture of “Squidward” with the text “Yall heard sumn?”, with the caption “Me whenever Gavin talks”. What does “sumn” even mean? 

“Has your follower count increased?”

“Of course,” Connor replied proudly, “I posted a bunch of selfies from the party, and they really took off.”

Hank smiles, “That’s good.”

(It’s that feeling again. How can he make it stop?)

“Anyway,” Connor finally puts down his phone, “Let’s go to the park for a bit, and then buy some groceries…”

His phone buzzes again, and like clockwork, Connor picks it up. 

“Oh, Gavin just loves to flex on me, doesn’t he?” Connor sighs. 

(It’s times like these that Hank wishes he can wirelessly hack into the contents of Connor’s phone; he has to at least touch it to get the information to sync up, and of course Connor never lets go of his phone.)

Connor quickly types a response, and puts his phone back down with a big grin. 

“What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, I just sent him a gif,” Connor replied, still smiling – “Man, he’s gonna be so mad at me tomorrow.”

  
  


There’s a lot of people in the park today, even though the weather is somewhat chilly. Connor’s wearing his one of his old hoodies, and he made Hank wear a hoodie too, although Hank can’t feel the cold, and a beanie to hide his LED. 

Hank notices now that they are essentially wearing the same hoodies – both of them are black with blue stripes, and a red box with the words “Supreme” in white letters is printed across the chest. 

“It’s a pretty old brand,” Connor explained to him, “People used to be crazy about this stuff back when I was in high school, like, they would stand in line for days.”

“Why?” Hank asks, “There’s nothing extraordinary about it.”

“I mean, they’re comfortable,” Connor defends, “The one you’re wearing is a knock off, though. I got a size up from my usual just in case, ends up being a little too big, but I mean, it fits you fine.”

“What about the one you’re wearing?”

“They had a relaunch a few years back,” Connor replied, sounding a little embarrassed, “I know I’m too old for this shit, but... I actually have money now, and I still think it looks cool.”

“As long as it makes you happy,” Hank said with a smile.

 

They let Sushi run around, playing with other dogs in the park. It must be exciting, since he’s usually alone at home. Connor and Hank are sitting on a bench nearby – 

“Look here, Hank.”

Hank turns to look at Connor, who’s pointing his phone camera at Hank – he can hear a click as Connor takes a picture.

“Are you going to publish that on your… Twitter?”

“Hell yeah, you look so good!” Connor replied, smiling to himself – “You wanna take a selfie together?”

“Okay.”

Connor leans closer to Hank and moves the camera around a little so their faces are perfectly in frame – Connor must have applied a filter of some sort, as Hank notices that their picture on the phone have dog ears. 

“...can’t you just take a normal picture?”

“Why? We look cute,” Connor replied as he taps the screen to take the picture. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go jog,” he said as he gets up, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Do you have your cigarettes with you?”

“No.”

(That’s a lie.) 

“I know you have a lighter in your back pocket.”

Connor smiles nervously, “No I don’t.”

“I saw you put your keys in the front pockets,” Hank analyzes, “You always put your wallet in the back right pocket, and yet your back left pocket is bulging.”

“Have you been staring at my ass the entire time?” 

Hank was about to say yes, the honest answer, but stopped himself. (It’s inappropriate behaviour, but it’s just an observation anyway. He was definitely not staring at it out of lust or anything.)

Connor sighs as he takes the lighter out of his back left pocket, and reluctantly hands it to Hank. “Can’t get anything past you, Hank.”

“And the cigarettes too, please.”

“Oh, come on, I already gave you my light.”

“You can always ask someone for a light.”

(...that’s exactly what he was planning to do, but Hank saw through him so easily. Damn it.)

He reluctantly hands over a pack of cigarettes to Hank, who accepts it with a big smile. 

“It’s for your own health.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Connor sighs as he walks away, “I’ll be right back.”

  
  


Hank turns to watch Sushi, who’s now playing with a golden retriever and a corgi. They’re mostly barking at each other and chasing small birds around the park, but it sure looks fun. An older lady notices Hank, and walks over to him. 

“Is that your dog?”

“Oh, he’s not really my dog,” Hank replied, “It’s Detective Anderson’s dog. He’s taking a walk, so I’m keeping an eye on it for him.”

“Detective Anderson?” She seems confused, “That young man from earlier, is he not your son?”

 

Son. 

Nobody’s ever interpreted his relationship with Connor that way. To everyone in the office, Hank is just an android who happened to be assigned to Connor to help with investigations. They’re partners; lovers, maybe. 

Connor and him definitely fits the image, though. Hank has been designed to look older, because a lot of authority figures are older white men – while Connor is young, and Hank has heard others describe him as “baby-faced.”  

 

“...yes,” he heard himself say. Let’s not make this conversation weirder than it already is. 

“My name’s Caroline, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hank replied with a smile, “I’m Hank.”

“Anyway, he’s such a good son!” she praised, “My kids moved away after they got married, and I barely see them anymore…”

 

Hank completely tunes her out as she goes on, deep in thought. 

Connor has had a complicated relationship with his father – he’s never tried to ask Connor about it. (He doesn’t want to see Connor cry.)

But he’s only known Connor for… a month or so. A father is supposed to take care of his children, guide and educate them – Hank has done none of that for Connor. 

(Besides, his feelings for Connor are not what fathers have towards their sons.)

There’s no way Connor sees him as a father figure, either. Yes, he’s warmed up to Hank significantly compared to the first time they met, but their relationship is nowhere near that level yet. 

(It doesn’t need to be. He’s happy with their relationship right now.)

 

“...so I’ve offered to take care of her kids. It’s not like I have anything to do at home, but instead she said she’s going to hire an android, and I was telling her it would be better to have at least a real human babysitter, you know?”

Hank nods absent-mindedly. He perfectly hears everything she says – about her daughter who moved to Chicago, and is having some trouble with her husband while trying to take care of her young child – he’s just not processing it. 

“I don’t know, kids these days with their fancy androids,” she laughs, “I know androids are very capable and all that, but a grandmother’s touch is just different, you know?”

Hank nods, “I know.”

“Oh, I’ve rambled on about my kids for so long,” she realizes, “What about your son? Is he married yet?”

“He’s still trying to figure out his job,” Hank said, “Maybe he’ll start thinking about starting a family after he’s figured it out.”

“Oh, he’s still young! I’m sure he’ll be fine,” she said, “Besides, he’s very good-looking. I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding someone.”

Hank smiles and nods.

(He quietly hopes that’s not the case. Why does Connor need anyone else?)

He notices Connor in the distance, walking towards Sushi – he must be done with his jog. While he’s not sweating, he is breathing a little faster – he’s been running for thirty one minutes. 

Sushi barks at his new friends before running over to Connor. Connor leans down to pet his head before walking over to Hank.

“Yo, Hank!” he called, and quickly notices Caroline, “Made a friend?”

“Oh, hello!” she greets him, “I’ve just been talking with your dad.”

Hank can’t help but notice the  _ slight _ change in Connor’s face upon hearing that – so slight nobody else probably would have caught it. 

“Well, that’s nice!” Connor replied with a smile as he shakes her hand, “My name’s Connor.”

“I’m Caroline.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, ma’am, but we have to be somewhere in an hour,” Connor said politely, “Hopefully we’ll see you around!”

“Definitely! I come here a lot,” she said as she turns to Hank, “It was nice talking to you, Hank.”

“See you around, Caroline.”

And so she turns to leave. 

Connor turns to Hank with a sigh, and shakes his head. 

“Well, that was uncomfortable,” he remarks, “Let’s go, Hank.”

  
  


They arrive at the grocery store, and Hank takes out a cart. He’s got a list in his head – he’s been trying to cook more for Connor, especially now that they’re living together – it’s infinitely better than takeout and microwaved frozen food, for sure. 

Connor squints as Hank picks up a bunch of star anise. 

“...I don’t like how that smells.”

“I was thinking of cooking you some herbal chicken stew.”

“Hank,” he sighs, “Jesus, you don’t have to go all Italian grandpa in my house. You know I’m grateful for a sandwich.”

“But deli meats are high in sodium, which can increase the risk of hypertension and–”

“Well, you get my point,” Connor sighs, “Just make me something easy. I don’t know, spaghetti?”

“Variation is important in a good diet,” Hank explains, “It’s good to have a little bit of everything.”

“I know, but you don’t have to go out of your way to cook for me.”

“Do you not enjoy my cooking?”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it that way,” Connor quickly replied, “It’s just, I’m…”

At this point he’s run out of arguments as to why Hank shouldn’t cook for him. Hank smiles as he scoops up some star anise into a small plastic bag and weighs it. 

Connor’s just… not used to someone taking care of him. He’s been living alone for years now, and he knows he’s been taking care of himself poorly–

–either way, it’s nice to have Hank around. He can get used to this attention. 

Hank puts a few more spices into the bag, and finally they move. They pass by the frozen food section, and Connor walks into it, just based off muscle memory.

“We don’t need anything from there.”

“I’m just gonna get ice cream,” Connor replied, though he’s definitely looking around at the other stuff – “Oh, wait, can I get this?”

Connor opens the fridge and picks out a box of lasagna. Hank walks closer to scan it–

“It’s very high in fat and sodium,” Hank analyzes, “It also contains–”

“Fine,” Connor groans as he puts it back.

“I can make you lasagna tonight if you want.”

“Hank, I just said you don’t need to cook for me all the time,” Connor replied as he walks over to the ice cream section, and takes out a pint of cookie dough ice cream. He notices Hank is about to scan it–

“If you’re not gonna let me have the lasagna at least let me have this one,” he said, putting it in the cart – “Look, it even says here, made with low-fat milk.”

Hank nods, “Alright.”

  
  
  
  


“Who’s that?”

They come back to a silver sedan car parked in Connor’s spot. The windows are tinted, so they can’t look at who’s inside. 

“Maybe one of your friends, Detective?”

“You think any of my friends are rich enough to get a Cadillac?” Connor sighs, “New guy probably can’t find his parking spot, huh?”

Connor sighs as he looks around for another empty spot, and finally parks in one of the overnight parking spots. 

“Shouldn’t we call the front desk about this?”

“Nah, he’ll probably leave by tomorrow, right?” Connor said as he gets out of the car, “I don’t feel like dealing with it right now anyway. Let’s go, Sushi.”

 

Hank gets out of the car and opens the trunk where their groceries are, while Connor lets Sushi out from the back seat. Hank stands there for a second, scanning the license plate of the car that’s parked on Connor’s reserved spot – 

 

**CRK 0900**

**Manhattan State License Plate**

**Registered Under: Niles Anderson**

 

“What are you doing, Hank?” Connor asks as he and Sushi walks past the car, heading for the apartment lobby – “I don’t give a fuck who it is. Come on, my ice cream’s gonna melt.”

The driver’s door suddenly opens, and a young man steps out. Connor’s eyes widen as he sees him–

He looks so much like him – the same face, only his expression is colder, more serious, blue eyes instead of brown, and he’s slightly taller than Connor. He’s wearing a black turtleneck with a white leather jacket, and black pants. 

Connor’s initial surprise immediately changes into suspicion. Sushi barks at this new stranger while Hank walks closer. 

“Hey, dude? That’s my parking spot, actually, but it’s cool,” Connor asks with a smile, though his eyes look at this man sharply, “What’s your unit number? I can help you look for it.”

“I’m here to see you, Connor,” he replied, “My name is Niles Anderson.”

Connor turns to look at Hank – his eyes say “what the fuck?” – then he turns to Niles again. Sushi is still barking at him, so Connor shushes him. 

“Okay,” he said, “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“No, I believe this is the first time we’ve met,” Niles replied calmly as he turns to look at Hank, “Nice to meet you too, sir.”

“Hank, take out this dumb bitch.”

“No, Connor, I believe this is a misunderstanding,” Niles said, “I’m just here to talk.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk right now anyway,” Connor replied, “Just fuck off, dude.”

“I’m your brother.”

Connor suddenly falls silent, biting his lower lip in anxiety. He turns to look at Hank, but Hank can’t quite read his expression – it’s not a happy one, for sure. He turns to look at Niles again, but it’s almost as if he refuses to look at Niles’s face, refuses to look him in the eye. 

Hank can detect Connor’s breathing is getting faster. This must be distressing to him. 

Niles must’ve noticed how uncomfortable Connor has gotten with this situation, but his face definitely doesn’t show it; he still wears the same cold expression. 

“I know this must be surprising to you–”

“No,” Connor replied as he takes Hank’s hand, “Don’t you dare come here again.”

Connor starts walking faster towards the lobby, not looking back at all. Hank can tell Niles is still walking behind them – 

He can stop and shake him off, give him a light slap on the cheek or something, but Connor seems more interested in getting as far away from this guy as soon as he can, so Hank just continues to follow him. 

“This is important, Connor!”

Connor doesn’t reply as scans his keycard and enters the lobby with Hank and Sushi. Hank turns around quickly, and Niles seems to have stopped by the door. 

 

“Fuck, I’m not high enough for this shit.”

Hank presses the button labeled ‘14’, and the elevator starts going up. 

He turns to look at Connor, who’s still breathing heavily.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Connor sighs, “Or, I don’t… I don’t fucking know, actually.”

Connor draws a sharp breath, and exhales slowly, trying to calm himself down. Tears are welling up in his eyes, but Connor quickly wipes it away.

“Is that really his name?”

“The car is registered under his name,” Hank replied, “I can find more information on him right now, if you want me to.”

_ “Level fourteen.” _

The elevator stops, and a loud ding ensues as the door opens. Hank steps out first, followed by Connor. 

“What’s his name again?” Connor sighs, “Niles?”

“Niles Anderson.”

They stop in front of unit 1412 – Connor punches in his password on the door keypad, and unlocks the door.

Connor wastes no time to sit down on the couch, and throws his head back as he sighs loudly.

He’s quiet – probably thinking. Hank quietly starts to arrange the groceries into the fridge–

Hank picks up the pint of ice cream and gives it to Connor. Connor looks up at him, confused. 

“Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

“I…” Connor sighs as he gets up, “Thanks, Hank. I’ll eat it later.”

He walks into his room and slams the door shut. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU @kenhinaiscanon_ and @tastyturquoise FOR THE NILES NAME!!  
> (also i am on twatter, @1isblue. thank u)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is just connor being the human trainwreck he truly is on the inside thank u

“Detective?”

Hank opens the door and peeks inside.

Connor’s lying down on his bed, looking at his phone with both earphones plugged in. He briefly turns around to look at Hank as he enters, then sighs as he turns back to his phone.

He must’ve gotten changed at some point. The hoodie he wore to the park lay on the floor – Hank picks it up and places it into the laundry basket.

The room smells heavily of smoke, and as he walks closer, Hank notices the ashtray with six cigarette butts, some still smoking. So much for trying to get him to stop smoking.

“Please don’t smoke on the bed,” Hank said, “You know it’s a fire hazard.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He’s watching some sort of movie, it seems – Hank leans over and plucks off one of his earbuds.

“Hey,” Connor sighs as he turns around to Hank, trying to get his earbud back – “I said I’m not hungry.”

“I made some carbonara.” Hank raises the earbud so Connor can’t reach it without standing up, “You’ve used up a lot of energy earlier at the park, your body needs replenishment.”

“I don’t feel hungry.”

“I understand you may be feeling stressed right now,” Hank went on, “However, you still cannot neglect your body’s needs–”

“I’m not stressed or anything,” Connor groans, “I’m just not hungry. Let me finish this episode, okay? There’s only fifteen minutes left.”

Hank reluctantly gives it back. Connor sighs as he takes it, and continues the movie.

Hank doesn’t leave, though – he just stands next to Connor’s bed, waiting for him to be done – he sure is determined to get Connor to eat.

Connor ignores him at first, thinking he’ll go away in a few minutes. There really is just fifteen minutes left to this show, what’s Hank so worried about? It’s getting to the good parts too…

But Hank is still standing there, a few minutes later. Connor sighs as he rolls around to look at him–

“Come on, Hank, you don’t have to like, wait for me.”

“I want to make sure you don’t go into the next episode.”

(Fuck. Hank knows him too well.)

“Just come back here in ten minutes and get me.”

“It’s alright,” Hank replied with a smile, “I won’t feel tired from standing.”

“Fuck you,” Connor groans as he sits up – he moves closer to the other side of the bed so that there’s space for Hank to sit down. “You might as well just watch this with me.”

Hank obediently sits down next to Connor on the bed while Connor disconnects the earbuds from his phone, and turns up the volume.

It seems to be some sort of drama movie. The actors are speaking Korean – Hank can understand them, since he does have a language translator built into his system, Connor must be understanding them through the subtitles at the bottom.

“What is the story about?”

“It’s about this rich girl who falls in love with a poor guy, and basically her family wouldn’t let them get married,” Connor explains, “See, so this brown haired guy is her boyfriend, and the blonde guy yelling at them is her brother.”

Hank nods, “I see.”

Connor rests his head on Hank’s shoulder as they continue watching the movie.

The argument keeps escalating – now the girl is trying to leave with her boyfriend, but her brother instead starts to attack the boyfriend, starting with a punch. The girl screams, horrified at what’s about to go down…

The frame freezes at a shot of the two men trying to get at each other, and the title of the show appears across the bottom as the ending music starts playing.

Hank turns to look at Connor to see if he’s going to stop by himself – apparently not, since there’s a preview of the next episode. Seems like the boyfriend is beaten up pretty badly and another adult had to intervene…

And now it’s ended.

 

Connor looks up at Hank, “Did you enjoy it?”

“I can see the appeal of it,” Hank replied, “Though they definitely could have used better editing.”

“Okay, guess I’ll go eat now,” Connor said as he gets up, “And then I have to go meet a friend.”

“Will you be back for dinner?”

“I think so,” he replied, “I’ll tell you how it goes.”

  


Hank would’ve never let him leave the house if he knew Connor was going to a bar.

There’s barely anyone in the bar – probably because it’s 4 PM on a Sunday – Connor enters and takes a seat on the counter, next to an older man in a blue sweater.

“What’s up, Robert?”

At some point during his time sulking in his bedroom he decided to open his dating app again. He hasn’t been on it for a while, but he felt like it today for some reason.

He found this guy he went out with a few weeks back, before he knew Hank – they met at this bar, too, had a few drinks, and then headed to Connor’s place for the night.

 

“How have you been, man?”

“Fine,” Connor replied, “Been busy.”

The bartender slides over a shot of rum to him, and Connor downs it all in one go.

(Don’t think too hard about it.)

He puts his glass down and as he looks at Robert, realizes what he’s gotten himself into.

Maybe he does have a thing for older men – ‘daddy issues’, as Gavin would call it, and he’s not wrong. Robert is nearing his fifties, and he’s got that sort of rugged charm that only old men can have. He’s got a little stubble going on, his eyes are calmly looking at Connor, checking him out–

Hank has the same vibe, too, he just looks a bit older – Connor doesn’t mind that at all.

(He can already imagine how angry Hank would be when he comes back in a few hours, drunk and smelling like cigarettes and bad decisions – but that’s a later problem.)

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Connor replied as he lights a cigarette, “Just feeling a little stressed. A lot of things changing quickly and stuff, you know.”

“A lot of things been changing for everybody,” Robert replied, “You know, with the android revolution and stuff. Who knows what’s gonna happen next.”

“Can I have another shot?”

The bartender comes over and pours another shot for Connor, who gulps it down again.

It burns going down and tastes horrible, but it’s going to get him drunk and that’s all that matters right now.

(Don’t think too hard about it.)

“You’re not drinking?”

“I have to go to work tomorrow, so I’ll take it easy, man.”

“Come on, man, you’re gonna make me drink alone?” Connor groans, “I’ll pay for you, come on.”

“No, I’m good,” Robert insists, “Don’t you have work tomorrow, too?”

“Fuck that,” Connor replied, “I mean, I have to come in and all, still but like, I don’t give a fuck right now.”

Connor takes another drag of his cigarette while Robert looks at him, concerned.

“Something happen?” he asks – “You weren’t like this last time, Connor.”

“Like what?”

“I know we were drinking last time too, but it wasn’t like this,” Robert replied, “This just looks like you’re trying to get yourself drunk.”

“I am,” Connor replied, “And I can’t get drunk at home. Otherwise I wouldn’t have called you up.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve got someone living with me now,” Connor replied, “But like, I can’t talk to him about this shit. He won’t understand.”

 

No, what is he talking about? Of course Hank would understand.

Hank has been so patient with him all this time, doing his best to put up with everything Connor’s thrown at him – Hank has no obligation to do all this for him.

If he told Hank how he feels right now he would definitely understand. He would probably give Connor a big hug and let him talk it all out without judging him.

Maybe he just doesn’t want Hank to see him like this.

Sure, he’s been worse, like that night he got drunk when they had a case to solve – even then, Hank decided Connor is more important, telling him to stay home instead of going to the crime scene.

Hank’s been trying his best to patch him up, make him a respectable, responsible man – and this is how he pays him back, by relapsing into his old habits.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know,” Connor sighs, “I guess.”

It’s probably okay, right? It’s not like he’s going to see Robert again – at least he’s not planning to. Their relationship is transient, there’s nothing to it, no commitment.

“What are you upset about?”

“That’s… what I’m trying to figure out.”

 

It’s because of Niles, for sure.

Motherfucker had to show up out of the blue and send his whole world to hell.

 

He asks the bartender for another shot, and drinks it in one gulp as always.

Fuck it, he’s not here for counseling. He’s here to get drunk, get fucked, so he can forget about what happened earlier.

He knows it’s not healthy – he should probably be sitting in his bedroom, sober, trying to figure out what he’s really upset about – but today is not going to be that day.

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” he sighs as he turns to Robert, “Let’s just get to it.”

“Connor, I don’t think this is a good idea for you, man,” Robert said, slowly pushing him away – “You’re not in a good place right now.”

“What are you worried about, man?” Connor asks – “I’m fine. You came here for some action, so let’s make sure you get some.”

“I know, but whatever your problem is seems more–”

Connor leans forward to kiss him on the lips – a surefire way to get him to stop talking. Robert places his hands on Connor’s shoulder and gently pushes him away –

“Look, Connor, it can wait,” he whispers, “I don’t want you to wake up regretting this.”

“I’m not even drunk, man,” Connor whines, as he tries to kiss Robert again, “It’s cool, come on. I want to get fucked too.”

“Okay, okay,” Robert replied, “You want some more shots before we go? You look like you need it.”

“Yeah, man, that wouldn’t hurt,” Connor replied, so Robert gestures at the bartender to get them more drinks.

  
  


Connor only has pictures of his mother.

Most of them are hidden away in an old scrapbook that he keeps under his coffee table. Hank has gone through it once, on one of those nights when Connor came home a little too drunk from the bar and went straight to bed.

He said he’ll be back for dinner, and it’s only 4 o’clock.

Sushi’s comfortably curled up on the couch, taking a nap – socializing at the park must have been tiring for him, too. Hank sits down next to him, and picks up the scrapbook.

 

September 6, 2008

The first picture is a picture of Connor as a baby, lying in a hospital crib. His eyes are tightly closed, his face still bright red, and he’s wrapped in a plaid blue blanket.

 

September 11, 2008

Another picture of baby Connor – hens awake, brown eyes wide open and curiously looking around. He’s lying on a different bed this time – it must’ve been the day he leaves the hospital. There’s a small dog plushie lying next to his head.

 

October 20, 2008

This is the first picture of Catherine Gray Anderson in the scrapbook.

Someone else must have taken the picture for her. She’s lying down next to her son, petting his belly while he looks at her with a big smile.

She was beautiful. She had long brown hair, tied into a bun in this picture, her facial features are soft, her smile is warm.

(Connor looks nothing like her.)

  


The next pictures of them are usually a milestone of some kind. Connor going to the zoo for the first time. Connor being cast as a crab in a school play. Connor and his baseball team at what seems to be a competition.

Connor grows taller while Catherine grows older – wrinkles appear on her face and her body get thinner. By his high school graduation, Connor has grown taller than her.

 

June 5th, 2034

This is the last picture in the scrapbook.

It must be from Connor’s graduation from the police academy. He’s wearing his full DPD uniform and hugging her happily.

 

Connor isn’t his son, but what if he is?

Hank imagines he would be very happy. Connor’s very capable and kind-hearted – he can be reckless and stubborn sometimes, but hey, nobody’s perfect.

He’s happy to be here by Connor’s side, just taking care of him.

  


_“...I don’t wanna go home!”_

He quickly turns to look at the door, hearing the commotion outside – it sounds like it’s right outside their door.

He turns to Sushi to make sure he’s still asleep before getting up.

_“I thought we’re going to your place!”_

It sounds like Connor. Is he with someone?

He can hear a different voice talking in a much softer voice. Hank leans over to look through the peephole–

It is Connor, and seems like he’s yelling at another man – must be the friend he went out with – why is Connor already drunk, though?

_“Look, when you said we’re going to your place, I thought you meant–”_

Hank opens the door, and Connor immediately stops yelling. He turns to look at Hank, eyes angry but at the same time scared–

“Hey, Hank,” he mouths between his ragged breaths, “I…”

He almost falls over, but Hank catches him and carefully wraps his arm around his shoulder to support him.

**Blood alcohol level: 0.16**

Hank turns to the other man, who smiles nervously at Hank – Hank’s big stature and serious face is probably unnerving.

“Hi, I’m… I’m Robert,” he introduces himself as Hank runs his scanner – Robert Strauss, 48 years old, criminal history includes petty crimes, drinking under influence, public disturbances.

“You lied to me!” Connor yells at him, “I don’t want to see you ever again, you bitch!”

“I’m just… here to drop him off,” Robert said as he turns to leave, “I should… I should go.”

“Thank you for bringing him home.”

“Asshole!” Connor shouts one last time before Hank closes the door.

 

Of course all the loud noises woke Sushi up – he barks at Connor and Hank as they slowly make their way into the house.

“Sorry, Hank,” Connor mumbles over and over, “I’m so sorry.”

He gently lays Connor down on the couch, making sure he stays on his side. He looks very pale, tears are welling up in his eyes, and he’s sobbing uncontrollably.

“Hank,” he calls, “Hank, I’m sorry. Don’t be angry at me.”

“I’m not angry,” Hank replied, gently combing Connor’s hair with his fingers, “Are you okay? How much did you drink?”

“I don’t remember,” Connor replied, “I… I thought we were going to his place, you know, I wanted to, I wanted to get it on, but then I got too drunk–”

He pauses for a second and retches – Hank quickly grabs the trashcan to place by the couch, but Connor ended up not vomiting it out.

“I’m… I’m such a fucking mess all the time,” he sobs, “I’m so fucking useless.”

“That’s not true,” Hank replied, “Please don’t cry, it’s going to be okay.”

Hank hears someone knock the door once again. He looks at Connor, who’s still sobbing quietly in the couch, and at the door–

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

He peeks outside the door – it’s Robert again. Hank sighs as he opens the door–

“Hey, sorry to bother you again,” he greets as he pulls out a phone from his pocket, “I think he left his phone in my car.”

It is indeed Connor’s phone – it’s the correct phone model, and the right case. Hank takes it from his hand.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, man, I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think he’s in a good place right now, like, mentally,” Robert whispers, “Just keep an eye on him for now, yeah?”

“I appreciate your concern,” Hank said, “Thank you again for bringing him home.”

  


He places the phone on the dining table –

He quickly uploads all the data in the phone into his memory, so he can analyze them later and find out what’s been happening.

 

He then returns his attention back to Connor. He’s now covering his face with his hands, his cries getting louder and louder.

No, this isn’t right. Why is Connor crying again?

This must all be because of Niles. Hank can’t properly understand why Connor would be upset yet, since Connor doesn’t seem to want to talk to him about it, but there’s no other possible reason.

“Hank…”

Connor reaches out to Hank, so he slowly helps him sit up. Connor rests his head on Hank’s chest, still breathing heavily, tears streaming down his face.

Hank holds Connor closer and holds his hands – he can see the scars across his wrists as Connor’s long sleeves slide up his arm.

“God, I’m so… I’m so over this,” Connor sobs, “I don’t wanna see that bitch anymore. You really should’ve just punched him earlier in the parking lot, Hank.”

Hank can try to reason that he really had no reason to do that to Niles, but Connor probably wouldn’t want to hear that right now.

“I’m tired,” he groans, “Sorry, Hank. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“You’re so warm and soft, Hank,” Connor mumbles as he wraps his arms around Hank’s belly, “How do the folks at CyberLife do it?”

“My body temperature is designed to sync with my surroundings, so right now it should be matching up with your body temperature,” Hank explains, “As for my muscles–”

“Hank, god, I’m so fucking sorry.” Connor tiredly looks up at him, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Hank.”

“It’s alright,” Hank reassures him, “Would you like to shower or anything?”

“I’m… I’m good,” Connor replies, “Just stay here with me, please.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’d lov to talk to more dbh peeps so catch me on twitter: @1isblue


	4. Chapter 4

_“President Warren has been weak, giving freedom to androids simply because they’ve taken to the streets!”_

The crowd cheers loudly as the man speaks on the podium.

_“We don’t know what these androids are capable of, how they’re going to affect our society! To grant them independence just based off the events in Detroit is too easy!”_

  
  


“Connor!”

“What’s up,” Connor greets as he walks into the office, followed by Hank. Gavin walks over to him and grabs his shoulder.

“Yo, dude,” he whispers, “You have a brother?”

Connor sighs, because here it comes. “Fuck no.”

Gavin quietly motions at Jeffrey’s office, so Connor turns to look.

It’s Niles, of course. He’s sitting in front of Jeffrey’s table, and they seem to be discussing something important – Jeffrey’s got his arms folded on the table and his eyes look down at his desk.

“God, this guy’s not done fucking me up,” Connor sighs as he starts walking towards Jeffrey’s office – only for Hank to grab his arm.

“Detective Anderson,” Hank calls, “I would suggest you avoid any confrontation here.”

“Hank, if you’re not gonna take that dumb bitch out, I’m gonna take him out myself,” Connor said, “I told him I don’t ever wanna see him again, and here he fucking is, just casually waltzing into my workplace, and he expects not to get his ass kicked?”

“I did my research on him, Detective,” Hank explained, “He’s with the FBI. After what happened with Agent Perkins, I would suggest you avoid confrontation.”

Connor sighs as he turns to Gavin, who could do nothing but shrug.

  


Niles watches from his seat as Connor sits down on his desk and takes a sip of his coffee – Connor is looking back at him angrily.

“I’m afraid it is not within my authority to grant your request, Agent Anderson.”

“I see,” Niles replied, turning to Jeffrey – “That’s alright. Who do I have to talk to, then?”

“The HK800 has been assigned to us as part of CyberLife’s efforts to investigate deviants,” Jeffrey replied, “Now I know you might be thinking, but aren’t all androids deviants now anyway, but–”

“We don’t know yet what the public response to android integration will be.”

Jeffrey nods, “Exactly.”

“I suppose I’ll have to talk to CyberLife about this,” Niles concluded, “Thank you for hearing me out, though.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Agent Anderson,” Jeffrey said, “What exactly is your relationship to Connor?”

“We’re brothers.”

“Yeah, but that’s… not it says on file.”

“It’s alright, he wasn’t aware of my existence until less than twenty four hours ago,” Niles replied, “Though I definitely expected him to be, you know, less apprehensive.”

Gavin is now talking to Connor about… something on his phone. Connor leans closer to take a look, and cracks a smile as he pats Gavin in the back – not that he can hear what they’re talking about. Hank is sitting on the desk across from Connor, looking at something on his computer.

“I think I will take my leave now,” Niles said as he gets up and offers his hand, “Thank you, Captain Fowler.”

Jeffrey reluctantly shakes his hand, although he did not get the answer he was looking for. If this subject is a sore point for Connor, it might be for Niles, too.

 

“What’s her name?”

“Sarah. She’s cute, right?” Gavin grins, “I’m gonna get dinner with her tomorrow night, where do you think we should go?”

“That depends on you, buddy,” Connor replied, leaning back in his seat, “Do you wanna spend money? Are you trying to get laid?”

“I mean, I already did the other day, but that would be nice, yeah.”

Connor notices Niles walking towards his desk, and just sighs as he turns to glance at Hank – his LED shines yellow as his eyes trail Niles.

Best to just ignore him.

“You know, ask her if she’s gonna bring a friend,” Connor said, “Then I’ll come be your wingman.”

“You trying to score too, huh, Connor?”

Gavin immediately stops talking as Niles stands next to him, though – Niles does give off that cold, authoritative vibe, though, he can’t really blame Gavin for chickening out.

“What?”

“I just want to have a word with you, Connor.”

“I said no yesterday,” Connor replied, “And it will be no today, and tomorrow, and forever. So fuck off.”

Niles doesn’t move. He’s probably not someone who takes no for an answer.

“Hey, man,” Gavin interrupts – “You know, this probably isn’t the best place to talk about… whatever your issue is. Connor’s working, you know.”

“You were talking to him about your date,” Niles replied, “I actually need to talk to him about something important.”

“How important could it be?” Connor asks as he gets up from his chair – before Niles could react, Connor’s grabbed him by the collar and yanked him closer.

“I don’t know what you were hoping to get from me,” Connor hisses, “But I don’t wanna hear it. You’ve done your damage here, dude, so why don’t you fuck off.”

“I don’t know why you’re acting so hostile towards me, Connor,” Niles replied, “I’m your brother, you should be happy to see me.”

“I don’t even fucking know you!” Connor nearly shouts in his face, “I’ve been alone all my goddamn fucking life, and now what, you think a sorry is gonna cut it?”

“Connor!”

It’s Jeffrey. Connor sighs angrily as he lets go of Niles, and sits back down.

“That’s better,” Jeffrey said, “I swear to god, Connor, if Perkins comes here again because you start shit, I’m gonna throw you at him.”

“This bitch?” Connor scoffs, “Of course he’s Perkins’ fucking lapdog. Why do I expect more of him?”

“Take that shit outside,” Jeffrey warns, “Don’t make my life harder than it already is.”

 

Hank’s LED suddenly beeps yellow, and he leans closer to Connor.

“Detective Anderson,” he said, “I’ve received a report of a homicide. It’s forty minutes away from here.”

“Go deal with that!” Jeffrey barks as he walks back into his office, “I don’t want no family drama in here, you hear me?”

“Fine, whatever.”

“Go with them, Gavin, make yourself useful!”

“What the– fuck, fine!”

Hank gives Niles a little smile as he walks out of the station. Connor chugs down the rest of his coffee before he finally gets up to follow Hank–

“Truly pathetic, brother,” Niles said suddenly, “I thought you would be above letting an android order you around.”

Connor instantly stops in his tracks and turns around, eyes on fire.

“The fuck did you say?”

“First of all, I must say I have nothing against androids. They have indeed helped advance technology,” Niles went on, “But a lot of people fear that we will grow more dependent on androids, and–”

Connor is about to throw a punch at Niles, but Hank quickly grabs his arm.

“Detective–”

“Fucking let me go, Hank, did you not hear this bitch?”

Connor tries to pry Hank’s hand off him, which is useless, because Hank has impeccable grip.

“We have a case to investigate,” Hank said, “This can wait, Detective.”

“Listen, bitch.” Connor points at Niles, “You can say whatever you fucking want about me, but don’t drag Hank into this shit.”

“I’m simply expressing my thoughts,” Niles said, taking a step back this time – Connor does look like he would break his nose if Hank isn’t holding him back. “It just seems to me that–”

“You should cut it out, man,” Gavin said, grabbing Niles by his shoulder – “Damn, you’re just as stubborn as Connor.”

“The fuck did you say?”

“Come on, dude, come on,” Gavin sighs as he starts pushing Connor back, “Chill out, man. He’s just trying to get a reaction out of you, okay?”

“You hear me?” Connor yells as Hank quite literally drags him away, “The next time I see your goddamn face I’m gonna shove your head back into your mum’s pussy!”

  


They pretty much dropped the topic as soon as they’re out of Niles’ line of sight.

Hank’s driving, on the account that Connor’s still slightly hungover. Connor’s in the passenger seat, busy scrolling through his phone, while Gavin takes the back seat.

“Can we stop by Briggo first?”

“This would be your third cup of coffee today, Detective.”

“Come on, Hank, it’s Monday,” Connor sighs, “Plus I’m still like, hungover, and I didn’t eat breakfast, and talking to that bitch just drained my energy.”

Hank did make him some more pancakes for breakfast, but after the emotional trainwreck yesterday, he couldn’t get up until twenty minutes before work is supposed to start – Hank had to bring Sushi into the bedroom to bark at him until he wakes up. He pretty much got up, put on the shirt and pants Hank picked out, downed two cups of coffee, and headed out.

“There is one on our route,” Hank replied, “Please select the Woolridge Road branch.”

“You want coffee, Gavin?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Gavin replied, “Man, don’t you get jittery from all that caffeine? It’s only nine thirty, too.”

“I mean, I’m kinda hungover right now, so anything helps,” Connor replied.

Gavin falls quiet again.

Clearly the elephant in the room… or in the car, is Connor’s mysterious brother, but neither Hank nor Connor seems to want to talk about it, especially after that explosive series of events – but god damn Gavin is curious.

What’s the worst that can happen anyway, getting punched by Connor? That’s happened before. Plus Hank is probably going to calm him down.

Connor takes out his pack of cigarettes, but of course this doesn’t escape Hank.

“Would you like gum instead, Detective?”

“I really can’t smoke around you, huh,” Connor sighs as he puts the cigarettes back in his pocket, “Sure.”

Hank pulls out a bottle of peppermint gum and hands it to Connor.

“So, uh,” Gavin starts, “Who’s that guy?”

Connor pops in two pieces of gum, “Who, Niles?”

“Yeah.”

“I have no fucking idea,” Connor sighs, “I don’t really wanna know either. Hank probably looked him up already.”

“Indeed I have,” Hank replied, “I can tell you all I know.”

“Is he really with the FBI?” Gavin asks quickly. 

Hank nods, “He works under the Intelligence Department, not the National Security Branch so it would be inaccurate to say that he reports to Agent Perkins. He began working there three years ago.”

“Do you know why he suddenly started looking for Connor?”

“My guess is because his mother passed away earlier this year,” Hank went on, “Claire Raine Anderson, died of breast cancer May fourth 2038.”

Connor doesn’t say anything this time, seemingly focused on chewing his gum.

 

“I don’t give a shit either way.”

 

Connor turns to look at Hank.

He knew his date with Robert at the bar ended… horribly. Connor knew he would have insisted on going to a hotel or something – that must be why Robert decided to get him drunk to the point he can’t tell left and right, and drive him home. When he came to he was already in the lobby of his own apartment.

On one hand, it’s very nice of Robert to not fuck him drunk, but on the other hand, he wished Hank didn’t have to see all that.

Hank hasn’t brought it up today, though, so here Connor is, dreading the conversation. So he pretends to be looking at something in his phone, even if he’s just scrolling aimlessly.

A notification pops up in his phone – it’s a message from Robert.

“Hey man, sorry about yesterday. I hope you’re feeling better now.”

Connor sighs as he types “Thank you.”

“Who’s that?”

“Jesus, Gavin!” Connor nearly slaps him away, “Just because you’re in the back seat doesn’t mean you can just look over my shoulder!”

“So you’re back on Grindr, dude?” He turns to Hank, “Hey, old man, is he dating anyone?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Connor hisses, “Or I’ll pour my coffee into your ass.”

“Gotta be a good boy in front of daddy, huh?”

“Oh my god–” Connor sighs, exasperated– “You wanna get thrown out of the car, Gavin?”

Gavin just laughs as he leans back in his seat.

  


The crime was initially reported from Jeremy Renner, who usually picks up his friend to go to work. Since nobody answered the door, he decided to knock the door, only to find it unlocked –

He then walks in and found the crime scene.

 

There’s a crowd around the crime scene by the time they arrived – curious neighbors, it seems. Hank makes his way through them, with Connor and Gavin following behind him.

“Detective Anderson, Detective Reed,” an android policeman greets once they’re inside, “I’m glad to have both of you here. This way, please.”

The living room of the house is quite a mess – clearly there was some struggle. They enter the bedroom–

It’s… quite a grisly scene.

A woman in black shirt and shorts is seated down on the floor by the bed, blood dripping from her neck and a knife going through her chest, and an female android lays next to her. There are stab wounds on the android, and her has been smashed – there are cracks on her face and a big hole in her skull, this area white as the android couldn’t recover its skin. There’s blue blood and red blood all over the carpet and red blood on the sheets.

Hank kneels down on the carpet and takes a sample of the blood – Connor could only sigh as he looks away. It’s kind of gross.

 

“The victim is Autumn Fu,” Hank said, “Time of death is less than three hours ago, cause of death is blood loss.”

“That’s plenty of time for the asshole to get away,” Connor replied as he looks around the room. Hank takes another sample, this time of the blue blood.

“Model AX400,” Hank said, “She has been Autumn Fu’s property since 2036.”

Hank leans forward to examine the android’s broken head.

“The memory and processor components seem to be broken,” Hank concludes, “We won’t be able to get into her memory, even if we replace the broken biocomponents.”

“Well, there goes our only witness,” Connor sighs, “She doesn’t even have any cameras around here.”

He turns to the desk, which is also messy, cluttered with notebooks and many small cables. He notices a laptop charger, which is still plugged to the wall, but apparently not connected to anything.

“Do you see her laptop anywhere, Hank?”

“Not yet. I will inform you when I find it.”

“And her phone too, so we can see who her contacts are,” he said, “She didn’t call 911 though, so it was probably a surprise attack.”

Hank opens the drawers of the nightstand – there’s a tablet inside and a few skincare products – not much else.

He notices that there’s a cast iron pan hidden behind the nightstand. He picks it up – there’s traces of blue blood on it, so he takes a sample. It belonged to the AX400.

“This is likely the weapon the android was attacked with,” Hank concludes, “Which means the aggressor must have been quite strong, to be able to use this pan as a weapon.”

He walks out of the room, and Connor follows him.

 

The living room is quite a mess. Hank notices the traces of blue blood on the couch, and a flower vase has been knocked onto the floor – none of the windows seem to be broken, though.

The door was unlocked when the first witness found the crime scene.

 

“The android must have opened the door for the culprit,” Hank begins, “She quickly became aware of their intentions, and likely tried to struggle with it to get out of the house. This leads to the aggressor stabbing the android…”

He walks back into the bedroom.

“She then runs into Ms. Fu’s room, trying to warn her, but the aggressor has already taken the pan from the kitchen and smashed her head. He then cut Ms. Fu’s neck, but as she was still struggling, stabbed her in the chest, thus the messy bloodstains on the bed.”

Connor shrugs, “Makes sense to me. Do we know anything about this lady?”

“Autumn Fu, aged forty one. She’s not married at the time of her death.” Hank’s LED turns yellow as he continues processing the information, “She used to work for Research and Development in CyberLife until 2033, and then switched to work for Nadia Laboratories, under the Biomedical department.”

“Nadia?” Connor asks, “That sounds familiar.”

“They have been collaborating with CyberLife to improve the emotional capabilities of CyberLife androids,” Hank replied, “For example, how the YK500 android models react to cold, hunger, or stress. In essence, how androids can behave more human.”

“Sounds complicated,” Connor sighs, “I guess we have to go back to the station for now and interrogate that other guy who found the body, huh?”

“Connor!” Gavin calls out from another room, “Wanna come check this out?”

“Where the fuck are you, even?”

Gavin sticks his head out from one of the doors. Connor sighs as he comes over–

 

The broom closet is full to the brim with biocomponents.

Connor notices Hank’s LED turn yellow as he sees this scene. It’s probably jarring for him, too.

“Okay, now this is weird,” Connor sighs, “I guess she used to work for CyberLife and all, but still.”

Hank picks up one of the parts, and scans it. If Connor had to guess, it’s probably a regulator – he saw Hank take it out of a deviant android once.

“These are old models,” Hank said, “I don’t think they are functional anymore.”

“That makes it weirder, doesn’t it? These are just trash, then,” Gavin said, “And she’s not even like, hiding it.”

“Considering she works for CyberLife and Nadia Laboratories, it’s probably not difficult for her to have access to these things.”

“Let’s take one to analyze back at the station,” Connor sighs, “Man, this is some Hannibal Lecter bullshit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’d lov to talk to more dbh peeps so catch me on twitter: @1isblue


	5. Chapter 5

Niles presses the doorbell, and steps back to wait.

Elijah Kamski, what a character, Niles thought.

He’s the original founder of CyberLife, and while he had resigned from the company ten years ago, people with his amount of wealth usually doesn’t lock themselves away in a mansion on top of the mountains almost an hour away from the city. They usually travel the world, build a charitable foundation, or enter politics. He’s now once again the CEO of CyberLife, supposedly to take care of the deviant mess–

The door opens, and a lady with long blonde hair and blue dress opens the door with a smile. The LED on her temple shines bright blue.

“Good afternoon!”

“Good afternoon, I’m Niles Anderson,” he introduces himself, “I would like to meet with Mr. Elijah Kamski.”

“Elijah is in a conference meeting right now,” she said, “If you want, you can wait inside. I’m sure he’ll be done soon.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for him.”

She steps back to let him in before closing the door behind him.

 

Niles is immediately greeted with a huge picture of Elijah on the wall.

Now he’s rethinking his assessment of Elijah Kamski – maybe he’s not so different from other rich people, after all.

“Please, make yourself at home,” she said, “Do you want to drink something while you wait?”

“Water will do,” he replied, “Thank you, miss.”

“No problem. My name is Chloe.” She smiles, “I’ll be right back.”

Niles sits down on one of the big red chairs in the living room and looks around. There are some pictures on the wall – there’s one of Elijah with an older woman, another picture of pointy golden squares, a grey painting with a white slit in the middle –

He sighs as he turns to pick up the tablet lying on the table, and reads through it. Just normal news – the painter Carl Manfred has finally been released from the hospital, the Supreme Court is supposed to vote on something today, the prices of CyberLife stocks are slowly increasing again with the promise of human and android integration – 

Chloe returns with a glass of water and places it on the table, and Niles thanks her.

  
  


It was about thirty five minutes later when Chloe finally tells him Elijah is ready.

“Ohh, so this is the other Anderson.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kamski,” Niles greets him, “My name is Niles Anderson.”

Elijah is sitting on the couch, wearing a grey V-neck sweater and jeans. He smiles as he gestures for Niles to sit down next to him.

“You look exactly like your brother,” Elijah remarks, “You get that a lot?”

Niles doesn’t reply.

“Sorry about the wait.” He takes a sip of his tea, “So why are you here, Niles?

“I just had a few questions about the HK800 prototype called Hank.”

“The one assigned to your brother?” he asks, “Why, would you like one too?”

“I was just wondering why it was assigned to my brother,” Niles replied, “Isn’t it a deviant?”

“It is,” Elijah replied so casually, Niles can’t help but be surprised. “Mostly because of your brother.”

“What do you mean? Aren’t deviants supposed to be dangerous?”

Elijah takes another sip of tea as he stares outside the window. All the trees in the garden are covered with snow, so there’s really not much to see but white.

“A few days ago Connor and Hank came in here, trying to ask me about deviants,” Elijah began, “And I gave Hank a little test, you see – I call it the Kamski test. Told him that if he passed, I’ll tell him what he wants to know.”

Niles doesn’t reply – he honestly has no idea where Elijah is going with this.

“It’s a simple test, sort of like the Turing test,” he went on, “I gave him a gun and told him to shoot Chloe. You know, the girl who opened the door for you.”

“So he didn’t shoot.”

“Don’t you find that interesting, Niles?” Elijah asks – “These are androids. They’re not alive like we are – just a machine, just a bunch of programs I typed up – yet they’re able to have this realization that they may be alive.”

“That’s because they’re deviants,” Niles states coldly, “The truth is they are just machines designed to serve a purpose, whether it’s to serve in domestic households, or–”

“Your brother is much more interesting than you.”

Kamski sighs as he puts down his cup of tea. Niles doesn’t say anything – best not to argue about androids with the guy who invented them – he just watches Kamski as he leans back in his chair, and turns to look at him with a smile.

“Tell me a little bit about yourself, Niles,” Kamski said.

“I’m… not sure what you’d like to know about me,” Niles replied, “I work for the Intelligence Department in the FBI, been there for three years now. Before that, I worked in…”

“Okay, okay,” Elijah cuts in, “Don’t recite your resume, Niles. What do you do for fun? Do you have a significant other?”

“I’m... not seeing anyone right now.” Niles shifts slightly in his seat – these are not questions you ask someone on your first meeting, “I have a cat at home, an American shorthair. I call her Kimchi, she’s six years old.”

“That’s great!” Elijah smiles, “This is nice, we’re getting to know each other better.”

“Mr. Kamski,” Niles tries again, “I was going to ask about–”

“Hank, the deviant android, alright,” Elijah sighs, “I understand why you’re worried – people often associate deviancy with violent behaviour, but keep in mind that these androids have been abused by their human owners. Connor and Hank seems to have a pretty strong relationship going, wouldn’t you say?”

Niles can’t refute that.

Yesterday, they clearly have gone grocery shopping together. This morning too, they arrived at work together, and Hank held Connor back from punching him.

“So have you talked to Connor?”

“I’ve been trying to.”

“Good luck with that,” Elijah said, “I imagine it’s a complicated situation.”

  


Niles sighs as he gets back into his car.

He did continue talking to Elijah for a while, but nothing worthwhile really came out of it. Elijah mostly asked about his cat (she’s easy to take care of, and no, she doesn’t bring him dead animals), if he lives with any androids (one, but he just helps with cleaning), what he thinks of Connor (he said he’s not sure yet) – their conversation then ended when Chloe came in to tell Elijah he needs to get ready to meet someone, so he left.

The Kamski test. How Hank was ordered to shoot an android, but refused to. What does Connor have anything to do with it?

He turns his phone on to go through the notifications he may have missed. Some emails came in, some reminders to drink water, some texts–

His phone suddenly starts buzzing – it says “Dad” on top of the green and red buttons.

“Hey dad.”

 _“Hey,”_ the voice came from the car speakers, _“I was trying to call your office, but they said you’re on leave. Where are you?”_

“I’m in Detroit,” Niles replied, “My friend Bryan asked me to be his best man. I’ll be back next week, what’s wrong?”

_“Oh, nothing. I was going to ask you to be at the rally in Chicago.”_

“Isn’t that next month?”

_“Yeah, just wanted to ask if you’ll be available.”_

“Of course. Should I prepare anything?”

_“I’ll send you the documents later.”_

“Got it.”

_“Tell your friend I said congratulations. Have I met him before?”_

“We were roommates for two years, so either you or mum must have met him before.”

_“Alright. Tell me when you’re back in town.”_

Niles hangs up and makes a note to himself to apologize to Bryan later. (He got married last year.)

  


Connor pops in two more pieces of gum before he puts his seatbelt on.

“Should we go home?”

“Yeah, sure,” Connor replied.

It’s almost 9 PM now. It’s been such a long day – started horribly, thanks to Niles showing up unannounced at the station, and then they went to the crime scene, interrogated the man who first reported the crime (he has a strong alibi, and judging by his background and behavior, it probably wasn’t him), tried to ask other coworkers what motives someone possibly could have against the victim–

Nothing yet. Connor can’t help but feel a little peeved that they haven’t made any progress at all – this investigation really seems to be hitting the wall.

He pops in two pieces of gum in his mouth and starts chewing. He just wants to go home, take a nice, long shower, cuddle with Hank and Sushi while watching his TV show until he falls asleep…

He turns to look at Hank, who’s completely focused on driving.

They haven’t had a chance to talk about what happened yesterday, since they’ve spent most of today at work.

Connor turned on some music along the way, just to kill the silence.

He can’t help but feel guilty again.

Was Hank angry with him? Is he still angry with him? That’s the appropriate response, isn’t it? Hank’s been trying to get him to stop drinking so much, has been trying to offer him better coping mechanisms, and then at the first minor inconvenience he has he goes out there and tries to get fuck. Shit, if he has a boyfriend like that, Connor would have broken up with him immediately.

But that’s not how Hank is. Connor is certain that even if he asks,

“Hank, are you angry at me?”

“No, of course not.”

That’s how that conversation would go.

  


“Hey, Sushi!”

Sushi runs over to Connor as soon as Connor opens the door, and leaps into his arms.

“Sorry I came home late, buddy,” Connor said as he lifts Sushi up, “Have you been good today?”

Sushi barks, happily wagging his tail.

“What would you like for dinner?”

“Oh, anything’s fine,” Connor replied, “I’m not that hungry.”

“You haven’t satisfied your calorie requirements for the day, Detective,” Hank said as he turns to the kitchen, “What about some ravioli?”

“Hank,” Connor sighs as he puts Sushi down, “You really don’t need to cook. I’m good.”

Hank turns to Connor, his LED blinking yellow.

“But you haven’t had dinner.”

“You know, it’s been a long day for both of us…”

Connor pauses, because of course, he doesn’t feel tired, so he probably can’t relate – he just feels bad watching Hank do so much.

“But still, you don’t have to do this for me. I can just eat my ice cream.”

“It would not be good to consume so much sugar at this hour,” Hank replied as he opens the fridge, “Don’t worry about it, Detective, I want to make you some food.”

Connor sighs. He’s not going to try to win this argument right now (plus he is pretty hungry).

“Okay, then, I guess I’m gonna take a shower.”

  


Is he just overthinking it?

He still can’t really understand Hank. Yes, he’s a deviant now, and deviants can supposedly feel emotion or something along those lines…

The only time Hank’s shown real emotion was back at the rooftop, after he decided not to drop Connor over the ledge.

God, that was just, what, two weeks ago at most?

He did escape the situation unharmed, except for a few bruises here and there and the emotional trauma. Death had always seemed like a good concept, but after such a close brush with it, he decides he’s not into it anymore.

He still remembers how Hank looked at him that night. The guilt and the fear, how his lips trembled as he called Connor’s name.

_“I’m sorry I hurt you.”_

Connor would like to think that was genuine, and not some preprogrammed bullshit.

It must be, right? He had the same look in his face when Connor saw him at the CyberLife basement, after Connor killed his evil twin.

_“Sorry, Connor.”_

_“It’s cool. Go do your thing,”_ Connor told him then.

 

Ever since Hank moved in here, he’s never seen that face.

Maybe it’s a good thing? That means Connor has been treating him well, so Hank also feels pretty good about himself–

...no, that’s bullshit, actually.

Connor’s been treating Hank no better than how he has been treating himself, which is poorly. Hank just never saw any of it, since they usually only meet in the office. He doesn’t know the alcohol, the smoking, the self-harm tendencies, the hook-ups.

He looks at the scars running up his arm – there are a few on his thighs, too, where they’re more discreet.

(Gavin was the first to see them. They were drunk that night at Gavin’s place, and when he tried to ask about it the next morning, Connor refused to talk to him for a week. He promised not to tell anyone.)

He’d like to think he’s over that phase now.

The few months after his mother died was a dark time.

...and then out of the blue, Gavin and Ben took him to an animal shelter, and brought Sushi home a few hours later. It was probably obvious that living alone was wearing him down.

But now Hank is here.

Is he disappointed? This isn’t the Connor he knew before, not the Connor who seems to have his life together. He’s just a wreck at home and he can’t figure it out himself – and it’s not up to Hank to help him, Hank doesn’t owe him that.

It all just feels… useless.

  
  


When he walks out, a bowl of mac and cheese is already prepared on the table, and Hank is washing a bunch of coffee cups.

“Smells good,” Connor said as he walks over to the table, “Thanks, Hank.”

“No problem.”

Connor sits down, staring at the food in front of him.

(He really isn’t hungry, but he knows he should eat.)

He turns to look at Hank instead.

“Why don’t you ever use the dishwasher, man?”

“You don’t accumulate a lot of dishes, Detective,” Hank said, “It would be a waste of water and electricity to run your machine.”

Connor doesn’t ask any more.

Hank finishes washing the last coffee mug, and places it on the drying rack. He turns to Connor.

“Please eat, Detective.”

“When are you gonna call me Connor?”

Hank’s LED turns yellow.

“Would you like me to call you Connor instead?”

“I mean, you’ve done it before,” Connor sighs, “I noticed that you just… kinda stopped doing that after you moved here. Why?”

“I thought you don’t want me to call you Connor.”

“What? That’s bullshit.”

Hank falls silent, his LED still yellow.

“Do you know why I’m making this a big deal, Hank?”

Hank shakes his head.

“Because it’s like, people call me Detective Anderson at work,” Connor explains, “But we’re home now. We live together, we fucked a few times – so it’s kind of like…”

Connor pauses and sighs, trying to find his words.

“Like… you’re purposefully just treating me like someone from work?” He sighs deeply, “If that makes sense.”

“We do work together.”

“But we’re more than that, right, Hank?” Connor asks, “What am I to you, Hank?”

Hank’s LED suddenly turns red, and Connor feels his heart skip a beat.

Oh no. Was he too hard on Hank?

“I… I’m trying to understand that myself,” Hank replied, “When I turned deviant, it was because I realized I couldn’t bring myself to kill you…”

Hank looks down at the table, avoiding eye contact.

That guilty look on his face again – god, Connor hates it, hates it so much, that’s not how this conversation was going to go–

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Connor sighs, “I thought we wouldn’t talk about it anymore.”

“Why are we having this conversation?” Hank asks, “Did I do anything wrong?”

“No, fuck, that’s not what I meant, Hank,” Connor said, “You can’t do anything wrong, Hank. You’ve been… you’ve been putting up with so much of my bullshit.”

“Niles was saying that–”

“Fuck that guy,” Connor said, “Hank, don’t… just don’t talk about him, please.”

“I’m sorry.” Hank pauses for a second.

“So you would like me to call you Connor, is that all?”

“No, that’s not it either!” Connor replies, “It’s…”

Connor’s at a loss for words.

There’s _something_ important behind all of this, but Hank doesn’t seem to know what it is – and worse yet, neither does he.

Something about being honest with feelings, but… Hank is already being as honest as he can. Why did Connor expect more – what did he expect?

(Why isn’t Hank angry at him? It doesn’t make sense. It’s like yesterday never happened at all. It’s impossible for anyone to be so forgiving.)

“Connor?”

Fuck, he just… doesn’t know anymore. Yes, he did ask Hank to just call him Connor instead of Detective, but is it… sincere? Did Hank want to call him Connor? Or is it just because he wants to obey Connor’s request?

“I understand you’ve been stressed because of Niles,” Hank said, “I know I’m just an android and I probably won’t understand what you’re going through, but I want to try to help you.”

Connor sighs as he reaches over to pat Hank in the back – his LED is still blinking red.

It’s all his fault that Hank is feeling like this. This is his problem and his problem alone, it has nothing to do with Hank – but now he’s angry at nothing, and Hank has to take the brunt of it.

Fuck this. He shouldn’t have started this conversation in the first place.

“I’m going to my room,” Connor sighs as he gets up, and grabs the bowl of mac and cheese, “See you tomorrow, Hank.”

“Good night, Connor.”

  
  


Niles would usually see it unbecoming of him to come to a bar like this, but it’s alright.

It’s located near downtown Detroit, in a dimly lit street with a lot of graffiti on the walls. The smell of smoke and weed is thick in the air, and he can hear the low murmur of people talking.

A bright neon sign reading Vallhalla Bar shines brightly above the door.

Gavin is already halfway through a glass of beer when Niles spots him sitting in the corner.

Niles smiles as he walks over to Gavin’s table and sat down in front of him. Gavin glances at him, then sighs as he looks away.

“Thank you once again for accepting my invitation.”

“Connor always pays for the drinks, so I expect the same from you.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,” Gavin sighs, “I’m just here cause I’m concerned for Connor. I don’t know what you have in mind about him and Hank, but I’m not gonna help about that.”

“I understand.”

Gavin sighs as he leans back in his seat. Niles quietly studies him–

He’s a pretty messy person, no better than Connor. He’s wearing a black leather jacket, a deep red shirt, and jeans. He must have come here straight from work, since he still has his badge on his belt.

What did Connor see in this guy? He’s not even that cute.

“How long have you known Connor?”

“Since he started. That was what, 5 years?” Gavin shrugs, “He was assigned to me when he first started, so we got close pretty quickly.”

“And you two were dating?”

“Whoa, you’re gonna ask that now?” Gavin asks, “I thought you were gonna make more smalltalk or something.”

“We can come back to this topic later if you’re uncomfortable talking about it now.”

Gavin lets out a sharp breath that sounds like ‘fuck’, but shakes his head.

“Better to talk about it sober than drunk,” he said, “I wouldn’t exactly call it dating. He cut it off before it could get more serious, said he wanted to separate work from life. It makes sense.”

“I’m impressed that you two were able to remain friends,” Niles replied, “None of my breakups ever go well.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

Niles decides to pretend he didn’t hear that. Gavin was smiling to himself, but stopped after seeing he can’t get any reaction out of Niles.

“Look, don’t judge me,” Gavin sighed, “We were both pretty drunk, and Connor, you know, he used to be way more active on Grindr than he is now.”

Oh, it was _that_ kind of relationship.

“We fooled around like, a few times, and then he moved on and so did I.”

“I see.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, man,” Gavin sighs, “Like, I wasn’t the one who decided to end it.”

“Does he tend to do this with a lot of people?”

“Again, as I said, he’s not as active now,” Gavin replied – he briefly recalled seeing Connor message that guy in the car, but decided not to bring it up. “He was, uh, pretty lonely. You know his deal with his mum and stuff?”

Niles nods.

“Yeah, he… didn’t take her death too well,” Gavin sighs, “He was pretty lonely. I guess he was looking for some sort of relationship, but he’s also scared to commit, with his whole daddy issues bullshit, so he never took anything that far.”

Gavin sighs as he drinks more of his beer.

“...and you?” Gavin asks, “Why are you looking for him now, like, thirty years later? Did you know before this?”

“My mother told me a few years back,” Niles replied, “And my father doesn’t know that I’m looking for him, either.”

“Your dad is that senator, right?” Gavin asks, “What’s his name again, Caine?”

“Yes, Caine Anderson.”

“You two get along?”

Niles smiles wryly, “I try my best. He expects a lot of me.”

“But he knows Connor’s out there.”

“I think so,” Niles replied, “I’ve never brought it up with him.”

They both fall silent for a while. Gavin grabs a server to ask for more beer – Niles asked for a beer, too, just to be polite.

“I’m probably not giving you a very good impression of Connor, huh?”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

“You can’t think of it that way, dude,” Gavin sighs, “He’s got a lot of… repressed issues and shit. Hank’s been holding down the base pretty well, actually.”

“But Hank is meant to be a prototype,” Niles said slowly, “And he’s a deviant.”

“So? I’ve never seen Connor in better shape,” Gavin replied, “I don’t know what they’re like at home, of course, but at least Hank’s helping him get his act together. He’s no longer just drinking milkshakes for lunch.”

“It just doesn’t sit right with me that he’s living with an android.”

“So what’s your proposed solution?”

Niles falls silent, unable to answer.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on twatter @1isblue thank u lads


	6. Chapter 6

“We are currently in the studio with Senator Caine Anderson from Pennsylvania. Thank you for joining us today, senator.”

The camera pans to a middle aged man sitting next to the anchor. He has brown hair that are beginning to turn grey, and he’s wearing a black suit with a white shirt and striped green tie. 

“It’s my pleasure to be here today.”

“Now you are one of the frontrunners from the Republican Party,” the anchor said, “You seem particularly interested in stopping the android equality bill from passing.”

“As I’ve said a few times, President Warren has not acted wisely,” he replied, “She was too worried about causing a civil war that would end up compromising her position. But now you tell me, Rosanna, you think giving these androids freedom is gonna be good for humans? They’re already taking over jobs that are supposed to be for humans, and it’s only going to get worse if we continue to let them roam around.”

“So you don’t think these androids deserve freedom, sir?”

“They’re just machines designed to obey humans. At this rate, we’ll end up being the ones obeying them.”

  
  


“Oh, there you are, Connor!”

Gavin gets up from his seat as he sees Connor and Hank walk in. 

“What’s up, man?” Gavin asks, “You look dead inside. You good?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine, no worries,” Connor replied as he takes a sip of his coffee. 

He could barely sleep last night – every time his body starts to calm down, his mind would jolt, and he wakes back up. 

Might be because of the case. Sure, Connor’s been doing this for years, but murder scenes are always gruesome in their own way. He used to think he’ll get used to it soon, but now part of him is glad he hasn’t; it’s sort of a reminder of his morality. 

Or maybe it was because of Hank. He still feels guilty for making Hank feel guilty – and yet it feels like something is still unresolved from their conversation, even if Connor can’t put his finger on it. 

It did make him rethink his relationship with Hank. Maybe he’s just projecting onto Hank, and Hank doesn’t actually care about him outside of their work relationship. 

Connor looks up at Jeffrey’s office – Niles isn’t there today, thank god. Maybe his threat from yesterday is effective after all.

“So you down for tonight?”

“Tonight?” Connor asks – “Oh, your date?”

“Yeah! She even said she’s gonna bring a friend.” Gavin lightly elbows him, “Come on, dude. When was the last time you got laid?”

“Last Saturday, thank you very much,” Connor sighs, “Where are you going then?”

“The Velvet Room. I don’t know, she picked the place.”

“Alright, alright,” Connor replied, “You think I can go looking like this?”

Gavin steps back to look at Connor from head to toe – he’s wearing a black button down with white stripes, jeans, and a brown parka. 

“Yeah, if you’re gonna be my wingman,” Gavin replied, “You can’t look better than me.”

“I already look better than you.”

“Hey!” Gavin points at him, “Watch it.”

Connor laughs as he turns to sit down. 

“I suppose you won’t be having dinner at home tonight,” Hank said, “What time do you think you’ll get home?”

“I don’t know, it depends on whether the date goes well or not,” Connor replied, “Don’t worry about it too much, Hank.”

Hank nods, though his LED shines yellow. 

  
  


Today’s going to be a long day. 

Yesterday Connor interrogated Jeremy Renner, the man who first discovered the crime. He insists that he knew nothing about the crime, and he does have an alibi. Security footage from his own apartment showed him only leaving the house at eight-forty – according to Hank’s estimates, Autumn Fu was killed around six o’clock.

 

“How long have you known the victim?”

“Autumn? We’ve always been in the same department since she started working at Nadia.”

“Do you think there might be anyone who holds a grudge against her, who would do this?”

“Not really,” he replied, “She’s really nice in the office. Kind of a workaholic, but who can blame her? She really likes androids and stuff. She’s put a ton of upgrades and mods into Clara.”

“Clara?”

“Yeah, the one she has at home…” He sighs, looking at the crime scene pictures, “That looks pretty bad, I don’t think she can be fixed anymore.”

“What about work?” Connor asks, “We found a lot of biocomponents in her closet. Maybe it has something to do with your research?”

“Yeah, we worked a lot with regulators and stuff a couple years ago…”

A light seems to turn on in Jeremy’s head. 

“Right, what about her laptop and stuff?” he asks, “They’re still the property of Nadia Laboratories. You guys shouldn’t be able to access it without our permission.”

“We couldn’t find it in her house,” Connor replied, “Any chance it’s still in the office?”

“I don’t think so. She always brings it home with her…”

  
  


“Connor! Good thing you’re here.”

Ben walks over from the other end of the room to Connor and Hank. 

“Do you mind if I borrow Hank for a while?” he asks, “There’s something I want him to look at.”

“I mean, sure…” 

He turns to Hank to see if he has anything to say, but Hank looks right back at him, as if expecting him to say something, too.

“I thought we’re supposed to continue investigating the murder of Autumn Fu today?” Hank asks, “Did any new evidence come up?”

“So there’s this android who just came in,” Ben tried to explain, “We got a 911 call about him fighting with other androids, but now that he’s here, he said he doesn’t remember any of it.”

“Where is he now?”

“In the interrogation room. I was thinking if you can do your thing with the…” Ben grabs his own arm to demonstrate, “Whatever that’s called?”

“Probe his memory.” Hank nods, “I’ll try asking him a few questions first, but hopefully we won’t have to resort to that.”

“Can I come watch real quick?”

“Of course,” Ben replied, “Sorry, Connor, I know you’re still busy figuring out the murder from yesterday.”

“Yeah, honestly, we’re kind of stuck,” Connor sighs, “The guy we interrogated yesterday didn’t give us much to work with, and we really have no other witness.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I know we need to find her laptop, since there’s some sensitive information on there,” Connor replied, “We also sent some of the biocomponents in her house to CyberLife, see if they can find anything interesting about it, so hopefully that comes in soon.”

They stop walking outside of the interrogation room, where they can see an android sitting inside. He has short brown hair, and he’s wearing a green jacket and jeans, wet and stained with mud. His hands are handcuffed to the table, and he’s shuffling nervously while looking around the room.

“Where was he found?”

“Down at Pinewood and Reno Street,” Ben replied, “The call came from this old lady who heard a commotion outside, and saw him fighting a bunch of other androids. She didn’t know they’re androids, but they were loud. When we found him the others were pinning him down.”

“That sounds serious,” Hank replied, “But he claims he doesn’t remember?”

“Exactly.”

Hank nods as he places his hand against the scanner – the door opens, and he steps in. 

“So,” Ben turns to Connor, “How have you been doing?”

“Just fine,” Connor replied, “I mean, this murder case sure is making me want to pull my hair out, but that aside, everything’s cool.”

“About what happened yesterday…”

Connor sighs, “Ben, I love you, but let’s not talk about it right now.”

“Oh.” Ben nods, “I see. That’s alright.” 

Connor smiles as Ben pets him the back – Ben is always so kind and understanding. Jeffrey’s yelled at him a few times, but never Ben.

Connor and Ben take their seats behind the mirror while watching Hank walk inside. The android immediately looks up at Hank as soon as he enters the room.

“Hello,” Hank greets him, “My name is Hank. What’s your name?”

“I’m Caleb.”

Hank pulls out the chair across from Caleb and sits down. Caleb finally stopped looking around the room nervously, instead focusing on Hank. Hank picks up the tablet on the table, and starts scrolling through some of the information on it.

“What are you going to do to me?” Caleb asks nervously, “The man from earlier already asked me a lot of questions…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything.” Hank puts down the tablet, “I was told that an android had been arrested for violent behaviour, so I was worried.”

Hank smiles reassuringly at Caleb. 

“But you seem like a nice young man, Caleb.”

Caleb slowly nods, and he stops fidgeting around so much. 

“You see, the revolution isn’t that far behind us,” he said, “A lot of humans haven’t fully accepted our equality – android crimes will only make us look bad.”

“I know, but I… I didn’t mean to do it,” Caleb replied, “I… I don’t even know how it happened. They’re all my friends, but… I don’t even remember the fight or what caused it…”

“It’s okay.” Hank leans forward and holds Caleb’s hands, “Calm down, we’re not accusing you of anything.”

Caleb looks up at Hank, and slowly nods. 

Connor takes a sip of his coffee as he watches. Hank is really good at reassuring people – Connor included. Maybe it has something to do with his warm voice or his gentle smile, but it works every time.

“Do you remember the events before the fight?”

“We were heading home from work,” Caleb replied, “It was… it was me, Rachel, Sam, and Jackson. We all work the night shift at this bakery, and we always finish around six in the morning.”

“So this is a routine for you,” Hank remarks, “Did anything unusual happen today that may have caused a fight between you and your friends?”

His LED circles yellow for a second as he tries to remember. 

“I think we were talking about Rachel,” he continued, “She was talking about this guy she has been seeing, I think his name is Peter…”

He’s beginning to fidget in his seat again, his LED turning red. 

“Calm down,” Hank said, “It’s alright, Caleb.”

“That’s… that’s all I remember,” he said, “After that, when I came to, Jackson and Sam were holding me to the ground.”

“So you don’t remember anything at all about the fight?”

“I really don’t!” he replied, “I… I feel so bad about this! I don’t think anyone got hurt, but of course I wouldn’t want to fight them.”

Hank notices Caleb’s stress level has gone up – it’s at 47% now, not yet at a dangerous level. 

He’s never heard of anything like this before – just a chunk of memory missing from a series of events, but Caleb doesn’t seem to be lying either. 

“Those few minutes where you blacked out,” Hank said, “Can you describe them to me?”

“I don’t know, because it was just weird, it’s never happened to me before!” Caleb insists, “I know I’m an old model and stuff, do you think… do you think it has to do with my processor?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we definitely had a fight, that’s why someone called 911,” Caleb replied, “But I don’t remember any of it. The memory has to somehow be in there, it doesn’t make any sense–”

“Will you allow me to probe your memory to see if it’s there?”

Caleb stops now, hesitant at the proposition. 

“If the memory is indeed there, then it was probably a glitch in your processor that’s not letting you access the memory.” 

“I guess you have a point…”

He sighs as he looks at the mirror side of the wall. 

“But then you’ll have evidence to arrest me.”

“This is your first time,” Hank replied, “If you cooperate, I can arrange to let you go with a warning.”

“Really?”

Hank smiles and nods. 

“Besides, it would be better to know now whether it’s a glitch in your system or something major.”

“But you promise that you’ll let me go if I let you do it, right?” Caleb asks nervously, “I don’t want to be arrested.”

“Of course.”

 

Hank draws the skin from his arm as he carefully rolls up the sleeve of the jacket to reveal Caleb’s white skin underneath. He holds it with his arm–

 

Connor watches as Hank’s little LED blinks yellow as the two androids are connected – it turns red for a few seconds before it goes back to yellow, then blue. 

 

Hank nods slowly as he lets go. 

“Interesting,” he remarks, “There really is no memory of the event.”

“What do you see?”

“I could see you guys walking home and talking, and then it jumps to the memory of you being held to the ground.” He turns to Caleb, “I appreciate that you have been telling me the truth, Caleb.”

He gets up from the chair and gestures to Connor and Ben to let him out. 

“I will make sure you are released with no more than a warning,” Hank reassures Caleb one last time, “I would suggest that you go to CyberLife and get it checked out.”

  
  
  


“So her friend’s name is Amy,” Gavin announces in the car, “She didn’t send a picture to me, but she said she was at the party, so she must be cute too.”

“You really met them at the party?” Connor asks, “Who are they affiliated with?”

“I think it was a tech company or some shit,” Gavin replied, “You should ask them later.”

Connor takes out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, places one between his lips, and lights it up. 

“You can only do this when Hank isn’t around, huh?”

Connor just sighs and shakes his head as he opens the window. 

“Not sure why you like him so much anyway,” Gavin said as he slows down the car in front of a red light. “You don’t have to obey every word he says, you know.”

“I know.”

Gavin turns to look at Connor, who’s looking out of the window as he smokes. 

“Something happen?” he asks carefully, “Between you and Hank?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Connor replied, “I’ve just been… thinking about a lot of things.”

“I mean, yesterday was a lot,” Gavin said – the light turns green, so he starts driving again. “Your brother showed up out of nowhere, the murder case, all that…”

“It’s just…” Connor sighs, “I don’t know how to talk about it.”

“Just unload it here, man,” Gavin said, “We’ve got about fifteen minutes before we get there.”

“I don’t know, it’s just…” Connor sighs again, “It feels like there’s a distance between me and Hank.”

Gavin just nods, cueing at Connor to continue his story. 

“Niles came to my place on Sunday.”

“Wait, so yesterday wasn’t the first time?”

“So like, I took a nap, and then I…” Connor pauses for a bit, “I went out to see this guy, Robert. We hooked up once before, and I was just… just super stressed. Thinking about Niles and all that. I just needed a distraction, you know, so I was like okay, let’s get fucked.”

“I feel you.”

“But I guess I must have gotten super drunk too, and then he suddenly decided to be a gentleman and take me home–”

Connor sighs as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“Like, I… I just feel so bad that Hank saw me like that, you know?” Connor said, “Like…”

Connor falls silent, unable to find the words. 

Gavin decides not to say anything, let Connor process his feelings for a minute. Connor’s always been like that, worrying too much about others’ perception of him in a completely unrelated situation. 

Gavin can see the road ahead is highlighted yellow on his map – rush hour traffic, what can you expect. 

“But yeah, that happened,” Connor said, “And he hasn’t brought it up yesterday, and not today either.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I don’t know,” Connor sighs, “I guess I’m always telling him to leave me alone, but on the other hand I just feel like… like he doesn’t care.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Like, my mum used to be angry at me when I get into fights at school and shit,” Connor explains, “Because she cares about me, she doesn’t want me to get hurt.”

Connor sighs again. 

“Can’t you just take the highway?”

“I mean, I don’t know if it’s gonna be less traffic,” Gavin replied, “No worries, we shouldn’t be late.”

“If you say so.”

“Anyway,” Gavin said, “You want Hank to be angry at you?”

“Or at least... some reaction,” Connor replied, “I think he cares about me, what do you think?”

“Yeah, you’ve been getting better,” Gavin replied, “You said he’s cooking you real food at home, he’s been trying to get you to quit smoking so much and stuff.

“But then again you’re always trying to play the tough guy, Connor,” he went on, “You’re always like, oh yeah, I got this, but you really don’t.”

Connor can’t say anything to that, cause well, it’s the truth. The last thing he needs is people poking into his business and seeing all his issues.

Connor sighs as he leans back in his seat. 

“He probably doesn’t want you to be mad at him, so he doesn’t ask,” Gavin went on, “So now you’re feeling guilty at him.”

“Shit, Gavin, when did you become the psychology expert?”

“Hey, hey, man, I’ve known you for how long now?” Gavin asks, “Hank’s known you for like, a month tops. He’s probably not that comfortable talking with you yet.”

Connor sighs. “Okay, I guess.”

“Did you tell him all this?”

“I… I don’t know how,” Connor replied, “I tried to talk to him about it last night. Like, what do I mean to him? And he said he doesn’t know.”

“That’s fair,” Gavin sighs, “That’s a fucking hard question, Connor.”

“It’s not though!” Connor whines, “We’re friends! Like, it’s not hard!”

“What does Hank mean to you?” Gavin asks back, “Just a friend?”

“He’s…”

Connor abruptly stops, suddenly unsure how to finish the sentence.

Hank’s not just a friend. Gavin and Ben are his friends – he tries his best to show them he’s got it together. They can tell when something’s wrong, like now – but that doesn’t change the fact that Connor tries to keep an act in front of them. 

He tried to do this with Hank at first, too, but things got intense quickly – Hank finding Connor passed out drunk at home, Hank nearly killing him on the rooftop, Hank deciding to protect Connor rather than carry out the revolution when he was kidnapped–

It was supposed to be just a work relationship. How did they get here?

“God,” Connor groans, “I don’t know anymore.”

“See?” Gavin smiles, “Sort that shit out before you ask him again.”

  
  


The restaurant is already packed by the time they arrived. 

It’s a pretty fancy one – at least all the people around them look like they have their life together. It’s definitely an upgrade from Connor’s idea of eating out, which involves a dingy food truck. 

“Yeah, I have a reservation,” Gavin told the android waiter, “Anderson, table for two.”

“Wait,” Connor turns to him, “Why is it under my–”

“Mr. Anderson, please follow me this way.”

Connor turns to look at Gavin, confused. 

“Table for two? Under my name?” he asks, “What about your girl and her friend?”

“Just go with it.”

“What…” Connor sighs as he starts walking to follow the android, “Gavin, are you trying to get back with me or something? I told you–”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Gavin replied, “Come on, man.”

“Is this a prank? It’s not my fucking birthday yet.”

As they keep walking, Connor can’t help but notice a familiar face in the distance. 

It’s Niles, sitting alone on a table by the window. He smiles and gets up as he sees Connor and Gavin walking towards his table.

Connor turns to Gavin angrily. 

“Is this a fucking joke to you, Gavin?” he asks, “Did this bitch point a gun at your head?”

“Connor, come on, man,” Gavin whispers, “Let’s not make a scene here.”

“You traitorous bitch!”

“I… I had no choice,” Gavin sighs, “I swear I’ll set you up with a nice chick another day, dude.”

“Mr. Anderson?”

The waiter pulls out a chair for Connor to sit down. Gavin smiles sheepishly as he starts to turn away to leave.

Connor felt the urge to grab him and punch him right here and now, but then he would be making a scene, and if someone calls the police, things are bound to turn ugly. Gavin drove him here, too, so he can’t exactly leave unless he takes a taxi…

 

Connor sighs as he hesitantly sits down at the table, across from Niles. He makes sure to glare at Niles angrily, just to show that he really doesn’t want to be here.

“Two fucking days and you’ve turned fucking everyone against me.”

“I figured you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise.”

The waiter places a menu in front of Connor, and Connor mutters thanks to him. 

“Everything will be on me,” Niles said, “It’s the least I can do.”

“The least you can do is fuck off and leave me alone when I told you to.”

Niles decides not to say anything. Connor picks up the menu and gives it a look – 

He’s too angry to be hungry right now. The thought that Gavin has been acting like this was going to be a nice date when he knows full well he’s pulling Connor into such an awkward situation, just – how dare he? Gavin better know he’s not going home from work unscathed tomorrow.

The petty move here is clearly to get the most expensive thing on the menu, right?

“I’d like the sea bass, please.”

“Will that be all?”

“And a latte. Thank you.”

He hands the menu back to the waiter, who leaves promptly. 

He leans back in his seat, crossing his legs and arms as he sighs at Niles. 

“The fuck you want?”

“I just want to talk.”

“Yeah, cool,” Connor grunts, “Thirty fucking years. Thirty fucking years and you decide to show up now, perfect timing.”

“I don’t understand why you are so hostile towards me,” Niles said, “What happened in the past wasn’t my fault.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to fucking rub it in either,” Connor said, “Oh, look at me, I’ve had a perfect life, my dad’s a politician, he’s probably going to be president soon, I work for the FBI and I’m going to be super rich and successful in a few years.”

He leans down on the table and glares at Niles. 

“Look, if you’re just here to laugh at how useless I am, you can fuck right off.”

“That’s not what I meant to do at all,” Niles replied, “If anything else, I just wanted to say that you’ve been through so much adversity in your life, and yet–”

“And whose fucking fault is that?” Connor shot back, “Are you hoping I would reconcile with Caine? That motherfucker?”

“He doesn’t know I’m looking for you.”

Connor doesn’t say anything, waiting for where Niles is trying to go with this.

“I just thought I wanted to see you.”

“Who told you about me?”

“My mother. She died earlier this year, something to do with cancer.”

Connor would usually say “I’m sorry” or something along those lines, but it’s now like he knew Niles or his mother before, so whatever, he doesn’t care.

“Anyway,” Niles continues, “I’m not asking you to reconcile with dad… Caine. Not unless you want to.”

“You know he killed my mum.”

“Connor, I think you’re getting the wrong idea,” Niles replied, “I know it must be upsetting to you, but the truth is it was just an armed robbery, and unfortunately your mother happened to be the victim.”

“And then he was elected Senator the next year, does that not ring any alarms for you?”

Connor sighs deeply as he looks out of the window. 

All those years, even now, when he was just living with Hank and Sushi, a part of him is terrified when opening the door of his apartment. Terrified that something happened to them while he was gone, and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it. 

“Well, at least your mum died peacefully in a hospital or something, not with a bullet to her heart.”

He takes a deep breath before turning to look at Niles again. This isn’t a good place to cry about it.

A server comes over and places a cup of coffee in front of Connor, and a cup of tea in front of Niles. Connor smiles and tells him thank you.

“To be honest, I expected more from you, Connor.”

Connor takes a sip of his coffee, so he doesn’t have to talk.

“It’s just as you said – compared to you, I have had a perfect life,” Niles said, “I had both my parents, went to a good school, never had to worry about finances and such, and dad recommended me for the FBI.”

“Yeah, surprise surprise, of course you’d be in a much better place than me,” Connor sighs, “Are you disappointed?”

“A little.”

“And you think I give a fuck?”

Niles looks like he was going to say something, but decided not to – he too takes a sip out of his tea. 

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing, really,” Niles replied as he puts down his cup, “I just wanted to meet you and see what you’re like.”

“So there you go, you’ve got all your answers,” Connor said, “Will you fuck off now?”

Niles falls silent for a minute – it looks like he’s trying to think of something to say, because of course Niles wouldn’t ‘fuck off’ that easily.

“If I may say something, Connor,” he said slowly, “To me it looks like your life is tearing apart at the seams.”

“It’s always been since mum died.”

“Reed told me about it yesterday,” Niles said, and Connor feels the blood rush to his head – he’s gonna break off Gavin’s dick tomorrow. 

“You really struggled after your mum passed away, tried to find new relationships, but was too afraid of what will become of them. Stopped taking care of yourself, took on higher risk cases because it’s not like you care what happens to you, you don’t have anyone to live for.”

(“That last part isn’t true. I still have Hank,” is what he would say, but decides not to. Let’s not bring Hank into this.)

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

“I know we can’t change the past, and you have every right to be upset about what happened,” Niles said, “But wouldn’t it better to–”

“Bold of you to assume I would listen to whatever you say.”

Niles stops immediately. 

“I’m fine,” Connor sighs as he looks out of the window, “I’m fine. I don’t need help, especially not from you.”

  
  


Connor takes out another cigarette out of the pack, lights it, and puts it between his lips. 

Niles offered to drive him home, but Connor turned him down – he’s done enough talking with Niles today. Just wants to be alone, wants to think for a bit.

He thought about calling a taxi, but then found out the restaurant is only a fifteen minute walk from home, so that’s what he decided to do. 

He’s standing on the bridge right above a highway, looking out. Cars loudly zip under him, headlights illuminating the night. 

He should really go home, Hank must be worried – but part of him dreads it.

None of his relationships ever go as well as he wants them to, and it’s all purely his fault. He’s constantly afraid of revealing too much of himself to other people, afraid they’ll find him too weak. 

I’m fine, I’m fine – he knew Catherine always had so much to deal with at work, and he didn’t want to become make her even more stressed. She probably knew when something isn’t entirely fine, but never had the time to try to resolve it with him.

That’s not how Hank is. His attention is solely focused on Connor, and while that’s very nice, now Connor is walking on a tightrope, putting up an act that he’s got it all together. 

 

(Thinking, if he jumps off the bridge right now, a car would run into him before he ever hits the ground, and then he wouldn’t have to think about all this anymore.)

(And then the image of Hank and Sushi waiting for him appears in his mind, and he regrets even thinking about killing himself again.)

 

Despite everything, Hank chose to stay with him.

He’s not good enough for Hank. Hank is perfect, he can do no wrong, he cares so much about Connor, became a deviant just because of Connor – but he doesn’t deserve Hank’s attention. Why didn’t Hank just go back to CyberLife and continue to become the greatest android detective or whatever–

He knows he can’t keep up the act forever – sometimes it’s tempting to just let go and tell Hank everything, but part of him is afraid – that isn’t the Connor Hank knows. He’s a very capable detective and a good friend, not someone who’s falling apart on the inside. 

Would Hank leave him then?

Fuck, it’s all Niles’s fault. 

Connor’s tried to put all this behind him. Never think about his mother’s death again. Never question who his father is, whether or not he loved Connor, why he had the heart to just abandon him and his mother. 

Just focused on carrying on with life. Catherine didn’t raise him to be a fucking failure. 

  
  


It’s almost ten o’clock. 

Connor should be on his way home. 

Hank quietly wonders if he should be worried – they still have to go to work tomorrow, after all. 

Sushi walks up to him and starts barking – he must be bored. They went on a walk earlier for forty minutes, but since then they’ve been sitting around waiting for Connor. Hank tried to turn on the TV, hoping the noise will distract him, but didn’t work – he got bored of it after ten minutes.

Hank smiles and picks up a ball from the floor, throwing it to the other side. Sushi quickly runs after it and brings it back to Hank, the ball in his mouth. 

 

He can’t figure out what’s bothering Connor, and he hates it. 

Everytime he asks, Connor will always tell him he’s fine – last night was about as close as  they ever got to talk about it, and… and Hank must have said something wrong. That’s why Connor stormed off into his room. 

Is it all really just because of Niles? 

Hank’s never tried to talk to Connor about his past, knowing that it’s a sensitive subject. Niles’s presence was probably upsetting to him, a reminder of his past–

Hank wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. Connor’s hurting, and Hank doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

(He wants to be angry at Connor about what happened on Sunday, about Robert – if it had been someone else, someone with bad intentions, Connor could be in a much worse place, and Hank wouldn’t have been able to help him. But there’s no space for that – Connor already has a lot on his plate. The least he can do is try to not make it worse.)

Connor has been kind enough to take him in after the revolution. Connor could have just told him to go back to CyberLife, but no, he’s letting Hank stay in his apartment, without even asking him to pay rent.

(Jealous – jealous at all these humans who seem to understand Connor so easily, who seem to know how to comfort him.)

(That must be why he decided to get Robert. He probably understands better than Hank.)

Maybe he’s just not good enough. He’s just an android after all.

That’s what the lady in the park told him the other day – androids may be very capable and all that, but a human touch is different.

  
  


It’s ten o’clock now. 

Maybe his date is going well after all – maybe Connor’s getting some action right now. If that’s the case, Hank should leave him be – yes, he’s jealous, but if Connor gets to talk about his problems with someone, and if that will make him feel better, then Hank can bite his lip and go along with it. 

“What am I to you, Hank?”

Connor looked so distressed when he asked it yesterday, and Hank suddenly lost his words. 

He’s answered it as best as he could, that he’s still trying to understand. 

He can’t imagine what it would be like without Connor – it would be like losing his direction. He broke free from his programming when he realized he couldn’t bring himself to kill Connor, even when he was interrupting the mission. 

To go through all this just to be rejected, because he’s not good enough. 

Not that Hank can blame Connor. 

If anything else he should be grateful for this gift of deviancy, allowing him to learn more things about himself, about humanity, about Connor. 

Connor means… too much to him, too much to be put into words. 

  
  


Suddenly he hears the door click open – Sushi barks and quickly runs for the door. 

“Hey, Sushi, you still up?”

Connor walks in and gives Hank a tired smile. There are bits of snow on his hair and on his jacket.

“You didn’t take the cab home?”

“Well, the restaurant’s pretty close,” Connor replied, “Might as well get a bit of exercise in.”

“How did your date go?”

“Fine,” Connor replied, “She’s really cute and nice.”

Connor takes off his coat and puts it on the sofa. 

“Why didn’t you bring her home?”

“Well, I have to work tomorrow and all that…”

Connor opens the cupboard and takes out a mug, filling it with water.

“You’re not acting like your usual self, Connor,” Hank remarks as he gets up from the couch, “Are you okay?”

“I’m tired is all…”

Connor chugs the water from the mug and puts it back in the sink. Hank tries to wrap his arms around Connor’s shoulder, but Connor shakes his head and pushes him away. 

“I’m… I’m fine,” he said, “Hank, just… leave me alone for now.”

Hank steps back and nods. Connor sighs as he looks at Hank, then averts his gaze towards the kitchen sink.

“...sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Hank replied, “You should rest.”

“I…” 

He pauses, gathering his words. He tries to look up at Hank, but then looks away again, unable to meet his eyes.

“I’m…” 

Another sigh.

“Don’t give me that look, Hank,” he pleads, “Hank, Hank, it’s… it’s not your fault... I don’t know, I’m just feeling like shit…”

Hank doesn’t say anything. He can’t see his own face, of course, he doesn’t know what face he’s making or why it’s making Connor uncomfortable…

Connor looks like he’s about to cry.

“Did something happen?”

“No, no,” Connor replied quickly, “I… I should sleep.”

 

Why? What is it this time? What did he do wrong?

He was just asking Connor about his date, and he said it went fine – if that’s the case, why is Connor so upset? He can’t understand.

He doesn’t like seeing Connor cry – it makes him feel sad, too. 

But what, who is making Connor feel this way? Was it the girl from earlier, or Gavin, or Hank? But what is he supposed to do? Is Connor upset with him?

Where did he go wrong? 

Where did he go wrong? 

Where did he go wrong? 

Where did he go wrong? 

  
  
  


“Hank?”

Connor’s grabbed Hank’s shoulders, lightly shaking him. 

“Hank?” he asks, louder this time – “Are you okay?”

Hank continues to stare into the distance, his LED bright red, as if he’s a computer that suddenly froze. 

“Hey, Hank?” he lightly taps Hank’s cheek, “Can you hear me?”

Hank suddenly jolts, and lets out a little gasp. His LED circles yellow as his eyes move again, now looking at Connor. 

“Hank?” Connor asks again, “You good?”

Hank seems surprised by his sudden glitch as well. He slowly moves his hands, wrapping them around Connor’s shoulder. Connor leans closer to him, giving him a hug.

“Sorry,” Hank said, “I… I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Just a little hiccup?” Connor asks, “Are you okay now?”

“My diagnostics indicate everything is fine,” Hank replied, “I hope it’s an isolated incident.”

“Okay,” Connor wriggles himself free from Hank’s grasp, “I... should go to bed.”

“Good night, Connor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus this chapter was HARD to write  
> anyway catch me on twatter, [@1isblue](https://twitter.com/1isblue) thank you lads


	7. Chapter 7

Connor sighs when his phone alarm beeps loudly, waking him up from his sleep.

He slowly rolls over and picks it up to hit snooze, puts it back on his nightstand, then pulls the blanket back over his head. 

His body feels warm – a little too warm, actually, to the point it feels like it’s burning. He pushes the blanket away, but now it’s cold – the heater is on, right? He’s too lazy to go check, so he just pulls the blanket back up over his head, even if it feels like he’s roasting under it.

There’s a sharp pain somewhere deep in his head – he presses his fingers down on his scalp to try to ease the pain, and they do momentarily distract him from the pain, but it’s still there.

He feels something in his throat – he tries to cough it out, but it’s still stuck there. He tries again, coughing harder this time – that doesn’t help either, and only makes his chest hurt.

Fuck. Must be because he stood for too long in the snow last night.

He hears the door click and Sushi’s barks from the other room. 

“Connor, it’s time to wake up.”

Well, what can he do. He’d better try his best to act normal before Hank suspects anything.

“Yeah, okay,” he replied as he gets up, and hears how hoarse his voice is. He pretends like he doesn’t hear it – maybe Hank won’t notice.

“Are you feeling alright?” Hank asks, “You don’t look so well.”

Fuck, can’t get anything past him.

“I’m fine,” Connor replied – he notices Hank’s LED is turning yellow, probably scanning him. He coughs again to try to clear his voice – 

“I’m fine.” Still sounds as hoarse before.

“It seems like you have a fever. Your body temperature is thirty eight point six degrees Celcius,” Hank analyzes, “It is quite common to have a cold in this weather. You should stay home today, Connor.”

“No, I’m fine,” Connor replied as he stands up – he’s got to show Hank that he is really fine, nothing out of the ordinary – but fuck his head hurts. “I mean, it’s just a cold, nothing too serious.”

Hank doesn’t say anything, though his LED remains yellow. 

“Get out of here, I’m gonna get changed.”

 

Connor lays back down on his bed as soon as Hank leaves.

Connor picks up his phone with a sigh. A few notifications: some new followers, a bunch of emails, and a text from Gavin. 

“How did it go?”

It was sent last night around midnight – Connor was probably already in bed, so he didn’t notice. 

God, seeing Gavin’s name makes him angry again. Connor suddenly feels like he’s perfectly healthy and ready to go to work, at least so he can kick Gavin’s ass into the trash can where he belongs. 

He decides not to reply, though he’s really tempted to just send him a few middle finger emojis – Gavin’s gonna get his answer in less than hour from now anyway. 

Though he really would rather not go to work. Even Hank said he should stay home today, right?

...but then what is he going to do at home anyway? Watch TV, probably, eat, sleep? At least if he comes in to work he can get the satisfaction from kicking Gavin’s ass. 

He sighs as he sits back up – except he moved too quickly, and for a moment his vision is blurry, and the pain shifts to the back of his head. He bites his lower lip and lets out a sharp hiss. Fuck it hurts. 

Gotta get going, though, or else Hank will get concerned and go into full protection mode. 

He opens his drawers and picks a pair of navy pants, a black shirt… no, that won’t look good. He grabs a light green button down instead – and his coat is outside on the couch. He thought about wearing another layer, since he’s sick and all, so he takes out another sweater.

 

He’s greeted with Sushi barking excitedly at him as soon as he walks out of his room. He leans down to pet his head, and Sushi wags his tail happily. 

“Morning, Sushi,” he greets, “You went on a walk with Hank?”

Sushi barks. 

Hank’s in the kitchen, making something on the stove. Connor walks over to him to take a look – looks like some yellowish goo in a pot. 

“What’s that?”

“I’m making oatmeal,” Hank replied, “I thought you might want to eat something warm to help with your cold.”

“But I don’t like oatmeal,” Connor whines, “It’s gross.”

“I can add more honey to it, if you’d like,” Hank replied as he picks up a spoon, “Will you give it a taste and tell me what you think?”

Hank scoops up a spoon, and hands it to Connor, who looks at it hesitantly. He hasn’t had oatmeal in forever – sure, his mum used to make it for him, but it’s not like he liked it, he just ate it to be polite…

He knows he can tell Hank he doesn’t want to eat it and Hank will make him something else, but that would be kind of rude, especially since Hank went out of his way to make this batch – so puts the spoon in his mouth. 

It’s pretty bland – the oatmeal is soft and warm against his tongue, but the texture just… throws him off. It’s like eating sandy mush. 

“Yeah, definitely needs to be sweeter,” he remarks. Hank nods as he picks up the jar of honey and adds more into the pot. 

“Your coffee is on the table,” Hank said, “And you should take your medicine, too.”

“Okay, okay.”

He sighs as he leans over, resting his head on Hank’s shoulder. Hank decides to leave him be as he continues stirring the oatmeal.

Hank looks kind of cute like this. He’s all dressed up in his work uniform, but instead he’s making food for Connor. 

 

_ “What does Hank mean to you?” _

Gavin’s question from last night echoes in his head. 

He still doesn’t know the answer.

(Or maybe he does – he’s not good with words, not good with relationships, not good with feelings.)

But Hank is here, and hopefully he’ll stay here longer. 

Connor can’t even remember how he lived before Hank was here – just went to work and came home, watched TV, and slept, probably. 

Just going through the motions. Everything felt useless then – work was life, his only reason to stick around. He didn’t know what to do with himself.

(It’s probably wrong to think of Hank like this, isn’t it? Hank just needed somewhere to stay after the revolution – it’s not like he signed up to be Connor’s emotional anchor.)

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t go to work, Connor,” Hank suggests, his voice softer this time, “Your body temperature is quite high.”

Connor shakes his head as he closes his eyes and nuzzles his face into Hank’s shoulder. It’s true, his head is still spinning slightly.

“I’m fine,” he says automatically, “I’m just going to feel like shit if I don’t do anything all day.”

“You shouldn’t push yourself, either,” Hank said, gently messing Connor’s hair with his fingers. Connor lets him, since he hasn’t done his hair anyway. 

He slowly lets go of Hank and heads to the table. Hank’s placed a bottle of DayQuil on the table along with his cup of coffee.

 

It feels strange. Like he’s undeserving of this kindness. 

He knows it’s silly – he’s sick, so it’s only normal that Hank is taking special care of him. Even if he isn’t sick, Hank would still wake him up and make him breakfast every morning, and remind him to eat lunch in the office, try to get him to quit smoking and alcohol...

What has he done for Hank in return? 

Connor sighs as he pours out some medicine from the bottle into the little measuring cup. It’s not even eight thirty in the morning yet – 

Keep the dark thoughts away, Connor, save it for later.

  
  
  


Gavin’s desk is empty when Connor arrived. 

“Where is he?” Connor asks Tina, who happened to be passing by. 

“No idea. I saw him here earlier, probably getting coffee or something?”

“Piece of shit,” Connor mutters under his breath as he turns to his desk. 

“You don’t look so hot, Connor,” she remarks as she stops by Connor’s desk, “You good?”

“Yeah, got the flu, but I took some meds and shit,” he replied, “I mean, if it doesn’t get better soon I might just go home.”

“How did your date go last night?”

“Could’ve gone better.”

“No shit, dude,” she sighs, “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really…”

He notices Gavin entering the room in the corner of his eyes, and quickly turns around. 

“Hey, motherfucker.”

The color drains from Gavin’s face, and he grins sheepishly as Connor walks over to him.

“You think that shit was funny, huh?” 

“Look, Connor, I can explain…”

Connor lands a punch on Gavin’s cheek – he lets out a loud moan as he runs away, holding his cheek. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” Connor yells as he keeps coming closer, “You think you can get out of this easy?”

“Dude, I said I’m sorry!”

Tina could only sigh as she turns to Hank – his LED is yellow, though he’s observing the fight closely. Connor throws another punch at him, and Gavin groans again – Gavin’s clearly taking all the hits and not doing much to fight back, just defending himself against Connor’s fury.

“Do you know what happened?”

Hank shakes his head, “He seemed upset when he came back last night, but he didn’t tell me anything.”

She shrugs, “Best to leave them be, I guess.”

Jeffrey sighs as he opens the door from his office and sticks his head out. 

“Anderson! Reed!” he yells, voice thundering throughout the whole office, “Take that shit outside! Fucking kids…”

Connor sighs as he grabs Gavin by the back of his shirt, and literally drags him outside. 

“Hey, old man!” Gavin calls, pointing at Hank, “Tell him to chill out!”

“Stay here, Hank!” Connor yells back.

  
  


Connor drags him out to the parking lot, and sighs as he finally lets Gavin go and walks further away. 

Fuck it’s cold. It’s not snowing or anything, but there’s still no sun, and Connor’s sickness is only making it worse. He hugs himself to try to preserve some of his body heat, though it’s barely helping.

“Hey, man, I’m uh, really sorry,” Gavin said, “About yesterday.”

Connor doesn’t reply. He’s facing away from Gavin, because this whole situation is just... how do you put it, fucking infuriating. 

“Hey, Connor?”

Connor doesn’t reply, doesn’t even spare him a glance. Thinking about what happened just gets him worked up again.

“Connor, dude?”

He feels Gavin’s hand on his shoulder and shakes him away. Gavin backs off promptly. 

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Like, you wanna continue punching me or something?” he asks, “I know I deserve it.”

“Yeah you fucking do.”

If anything else, he just feels so, so disappointed. 

He’s known Gavin for a long time, trusted him with so much. When his mother died Gavin was the first one to check on him. When Connor was struggling afterwards he was the first one to notice, and gave him Sushi as a company. The drunk nights they spent at the bar where Connor just spilled all his feelings, and Gavin’s always been there, telling him it’s all going to get better…

“Out of everyone, I expected you to fucking take my side,” Connor said, “You know?”

His voice is getting hoarse again. He lets out a few coughs. 

“There are no sides here, man,” Gavin replied, “Your brother’s worried for you, and he’s right to be.”

“And you think he’s gonna make it better?”

Gavin falls silent. 

Connor can feel the blood rising to his head, suddenly feels hot tears welling up in his eyes. He quickly wipes them away. 

No, no, he can’t cry here. Hank’s going to notice when he comes back in. He can’t see Connor like this, especially not at work. 

He takes out a cigarette and lights it. It’s probably just going to make his cough worse, but whatever. He needs it right now, needs to calm down somehow.

“Besides, that guy doesn’t take no for an answer,” Gavin admits, finally, “I mean, just like you, honestly.”

“You know everything was fine before he came along, right?”

Connor inhales the cigarette smoke deeply, letting it fill his lungs. It’s warm, even if it hurts his throat. He can feel the nicotine working its magic, slowly calming him down. 

“Connor,” Gavin calls again, “I don’t know, man. What did you guys talk about that made you so upset anyway?”

“Just like, my mum, his dad, stuff like that,” Connor sighs, “It’s… just stuff I didn’t want to think about.”

“But look, man, that’s it, right?” Gavin asks as he walks towards Connor, “He told me he’s gonna fuck back off to Washington next week, so things are back to normal for us.”

He places a hand on Connor’s shoulder, and he doesn’t shake him off this time. 

“Come on, dude, don’t worry too much about it, alright?” 

“You know it’s not that easy,” Connor replied, “Why did he even look for me in the first place?”

“He’s just trying to make things right,” Gavin said, “Of course he can’t like, rewind time, but at least he’s making an effort.”

“But everything’s fine! I didn’t need to meet him or anything.”

“Everything is fine?” Gavin challenges, “Shit, dude, you dare say that after what you told me in the car? About you and Hank?”

“We’re fine!”

Thinks back to his conversation with Hank last night, how guilty he looked when none of this is his fault. 

Hank should probably know what’s happening, but the opportunity to tell him just never comes up. Connor always comes home upset, trying to sort out his feelings so he doesn’t look stupid in front of Hank, crying about something dumb.

(It’s not like Hank will be able to do anything about it anyway, so he doesn’t need to know.)

“At least Niles is your brother, he’s family,” Gavin went on, “If you’re not gonna open up to Hank, you can at least open up to him.”

“What, so he can tell his dad what a fucking mess I am?” 

“Dude, he’s not that kind of guy, you should know this by now, right?” Gavin sighs, “I wouldn’t have let him meet you if that’s what he was gonna do.”

Connor sighs as he pulls the cigarette out from his mouth and tosses it to the ground. 

Fuck it, he doesn’t want to talk about this anymore.

  
  
  


“Detective,” Hank calls as soon as Connor and Gavin walk back in, “I just received a report from CyberLife regarding the biocomponents…”

He stops as he looks closer at Connor. His eyes were redder than before and his heart rate has increased, stress level still high. 

“Yeah?” Connor reaches for his box of tissues, “Go on.”

“Did anything happen outside?”

He shakes his head as he loudly blows his nose, “Just kicked Gavin’s ass.”

Hank continues to stare at Connor, quietly analysing all the information he has. 

Yesterday he went to a date with Gavin, where he was supposed to meet a girl named Amy – he doesn’t have her full name or her picture, so he can’t run a background check. He came home alone, visibly upset, and refused to talk about it. Hank momentarily experienced a glitch, presumably because his system couldn’t compute an algorithm to make Connor feel better. This morning Connor had woken up sick, but insisted on coming to work, and as soon as he arrived at work, picked a fight with Gavin–

So Gavin must have been responsible for all this distress Connor had been feeling. 

It’s all his fault. 

It’s all his fault. 

It’s all his fault. 

It’s all his fault. 

  
  


Connor watches as Hank gets up from his seat and makes his way to Gavin’s desk. Gavin smiles nervously as Hank gets closer. 

“What’s up, man?”

Hank stops right in front of Gavin, staring at him blankly, his LED shining bright red. 

 

Fuck. 

Connor remembers last night, when Hank just suddenly froze when they were talking, wearing the same expression as he has on his face right now. Connor remembers their fight at the rooftop, the machine cold expression Hank wore as he mercilessly slams Connor into the wall–

Anyway, it’s safe to say that Gavin probably won’t walk out of here alive if he doesn’t do anything. 

“Hank!”

Gavin steps back, raising his arms in front of his face to brace for impact – but Hank instead hits him in his stomach. Gavin lets out a groan as he falls to the ground. Hank still walks closer to him, and Gavin as to scoot back slowly. 

There’s absolutely no doubt that everyone in the room is now watching the fight. (Admittedly it’s kind of satisfying to see Gavin’s ass handed to him.)

“Hey, man! Connor and I talked it out!” Gavin pleads, “You can ask him! We’re cool!”

“Hank,” Connor calls out, grabbing Hank’s arm, “Look, look, it’s okay.”

Hank turns to look at Connor–

His stare is cold, and yet dark at the same time. 

It’s not the same Hank who made him oatmeal at home an hour ago. This is Hank, the android sent by CyberLife to kill all deviants. Hank, who nearly dropped him from the rooftop–

Whatever words Connor was going to say to calm Hank down are gone now, replaced with fear – he can’t reason with  _ this  _ Hank.

“He hurt you.”

Connor would swear he felt his heart pause for a good second before it continued – he suddenly remembers how fucking terrifying Hank can be when he means it. 

And what is Connor supposed to say?

_ He _ caused this? 

That doesn’t make any fucking sense. 

Hank has always been so gentle and careful around him since he turned deviant. He wouldn’t even raise his voice at Connor even when he really deserves a lecture, always does as Connor says, always believes whatever shitty excuse he gives – 

“No, Hank, it’s…” Connor sighs, “It’s just a misunderstanding, Hank. We’re cool now, I swear.”

Hank doesn’t say anything in reply – now he’s just looking at Connor blankly. 

Is he still angry? Or at least less angry now? Does he really have to explain everything to Hank right now in full view of everyone else in the office?

“Hank?”

Hank jolts slightly. 

His LED circles back to yellow as his eyes move again, now looking at Gavin on the ground. His face suddenly softens, as if the life came back in his eyes – suddenly he’s the Hank from this morning again. 

Hank lightly bites his lower lip and looks down on the floor – that guilty look again. Connor feels a pit in his stomach.

“...I see,” Hank mutters softly, lips trembling. “Well, I’m glad the two of you reconciled.”

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck – this is so wrong; Hank shouldn’t have to feel guilty about this. Just based on the series of events from last night and how Connor’s behaved, of course Hank would think Gavin’s done something horrible to him. He’s only doing what makes sense to him, what he thinks will make Connor feel better–

It’s not his fault, not at all. If anything Connor feels like he really has nobody to blame but himself, for being so emotional and making Hank worry–

Hank turns to Gavin, and gives him an arm to help him up. Gavin hesitantly takes his arm – Hank is strong, his stomach is probably still hurting – but Hank carefully helps him up, all with a smile.

“I apologize for jumping into conclusions, Detective Reed.” He lightly pats Gavin’s back, “I suppose we shall all carry on with our day.”

“Sure…?”

And just like that, Hank turns back to his desk. 

Connor shot Gavin a look, and Gavin just furrows his brows, sort of saying, ‘what the fuck’.

“Reed! Anderson!”

They both sigh at the same time as Jeffrey calls them. 

“Get your sorry asses in my office!” he yells, “Now!”

  
  


“Okay, I admit it’s all my fault.”

Connor just sighs as he looks out of the glass walls, watching Hank. He’s working on something in his monitor, but every few minutes he would also look up at Jeffrey’s office, but would quickly avert his gaze when he notices Connor is watching him too. 

He’s still got that guilty look on his face – probably because he’s thinking he’s put Connor in trouble. 

This all just… sucks. Connor’s got a mean headache right now, one of his nostrils is stuffed, his hand still hurts from punching Gavin earlier, the whole office feels way too cold for some reason, he still hasn’t explained himself to Hank, for fuck’s sake can Gavin just stop talking–

“What kind of friend are you, Gavin? Can’t even stick up for a brother?”

Well, at least Jeffrey’s on his side for sure.

“You know Senator Anderson is potentially running for president in the next couple years,” Jeffrey said, “This could be a big political situation, and you’re just adding fuel to the fire! Don’t stick your nose in this kind of bullshit, Gavin, it turns ugly real quick.”

Gavin looks at Connor, pleading for help, and Connor just sticks his tongue out. He fucking deserves this talk from Jeffrey.

“Look, anyway,” Jeffrey sighs, “I don’t want to hear about this no more. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever again, you two hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

He sighs as he turns his attention to Connor.

“You should go home.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“You ask me why? You can’t work like this,” Jeffrey replied, “One look at you and I can tell you’re fucking sick. You’ve got this situation to figure out, and whatever the fuck is up with your android.”

“I know it turned a little violent back there, but it’s not his fault,” Connor replied, “He’s just doing what seemed right to him.”

“Fine, I guess you’d know him better than I do,” Jeffrey sighs, “You two should still go home. Gavin will deal with the investigation.” 

He turns to Gavin, “Hank got a lead something with the biocomponents. Go check it out with Ben.

“Now get out of here,” he said – Gavin and Connor both immediately get out of their seats. 

  
  
  


They were both quiet on the way home. Hank was driving while Connor was nursing his cup of coffee – 

Connor can’t help but look at Hank every few minutes, waiting for him to say something, but Hank seems to have returned to normal… whatever that means.  

 

Thinking back to it now, Hank was probably just worried about him. 

These past few days he’s always been thinking of how Hank probably didn’t care about him, which is just fucking dumb in hindsight. What, just because Hank didn’t call him by name and didn’t comment on him trying to get fucked up?

Hank still got angry for him, tried to fight Gavin for making him cry. 

Of course he cares about Connor. Poor guy probably just didn’t know how to talk to Connor about it. 

Fuck, how could he ever think so lowly of Hank? 

  
  


“I would like to apologize for my behaviour back at the station.”

“Come on, Hank,” Connor replied as he takes off his coat, “It’s not your fault.”

“But you were asked to leave because of my behaviour.”

“No, it’s because I was sick,” Connor replied, “It’s not your fault, Hank, don’t worry too much about it.”

Though Hank starting a fight with Gavin was definitely part of it. Not gonna lie, though, Connor’s pretty grateful Jeffrey let him go home – he can’t imagine how awkward the rest of the day will be if Hank had stayed there. 

Connor turns to sit on the couch, but notices that Hank had remained standing by the door, looking down on the ground, his LED shining yellow. He’s got that guilty look on his face again. 

“Hank?”

“I’m trying to recall what happened,” Hank replied, “Something overrode my programming during those few minutes, and I was unable to control myself. I’ve run diagnostics a few times to find the cause–”

Connor sighs as he walks back over to Hank, and gently cups his cheeks. 

“Whatever,” he said, “I’m not gonna pretend I understand how your program works, but you were angry at Gavin. That’s it.”

“That still doesn’t justify trying to harm him.”

“People do dumb shit all the time when they’re angry, Hank,” he said, “I’ve done dumb shit too when I’m angry. You regret it later, but you know, it’s not like you were thinking right.”

“Still–”

Connor wraps his arms around Hank’s neck and pulls him closer to kiss him, to shut him up. Hank doesn’t pull away, but for a few seconds he’s tense, as if surprised, before he slowly relaxes under Connor’s touch.

Connor pulls away a few seconds later with a smile. 

“Gonna take a nap,” he said as he finally lets go, “We should do something later. I don’t know, bake cookies or some shit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 1:30 am, i'm super delirious so if bits and pieces of this ch seem a lil off that's probably why  
> catch me on twatter, [@1isblue](https://twitter.com/1isblue) thank you lads


	8. Chapter 8

_ “Good afternoon, Niles. How are you doing today?” _

“Hey, Richard,” Niles replied, “Everything’s going well.”

Niles looks at his screen, which shows his living room. A grey cat is sitting on the couch, licking its fur. 

_ “Kimchi, I’m calling Niles right now,”  _ he hears Richard say – the cat pauses, and looks up at Richard – into the camera, so Niles can see his face. 

_ “Would you like to say anything?” _

The cat meows, then returns to licking its fur. 

“How’s everything going?”

_ “Everything’s going great,”  _ Richard replied,  _ “I’ve been accepting a few packages. There’s one from Killstar, one from Williams-Sonoma, and Adidas.” _

“Oh yeah, I bought some more plates from Williams-Sonoma, you can open that one. The rest are just clothes.”

_ “Alright.” _

Richard slowly rotates to show Niles the living room. Everything is exactly as he left it, except for the few packages stacked by the fridge. 

“Kimchi’s doing alright?”

_ “Yes. I will take him to the vet tomorrow for his checkup.” _

“Thank you.”

_ “How about you, Niles? How did your meeting with Connor go?” _

“We talked for a bit,” Niles replied, “He doesn’t really want to talk to me, but that’s fine, I can understand.”

_ “Surely he understands that you only mean well.” _

“I tried to tell him that I just want to reconnect with him.” Niles sighs, “It’s going to take some time, I guess.”

_ “What do you think of him?” _

Niles pauses for a second, trying to think of a description. 

“He’s kind of a mess, honestly speaking,” he replied, “But he must be very capable to have made it this far. Of course he’s still very antagonistic towards me, but I can’t blame him for that.”

_ “So do you think you two will get along?” _

“Maybe.”

Suddenly another box pops up on his screen – another call, this one coming from Dad. The option buttons say ‘end and accept’ or ‘hold and accept’.

“Richard, I’ll call you again later, okay? Take care.”

_ “You too, Niles. See you on Sunday.” _

End and accept.

“Hey, dad.”

What was the story again, a friend’s wedding? He’s got to keep up the continuity.

_ “Niles, are you busy right now?” _

“I’m eating lunch right now, but I’m going shopping after this with the other guys.”

_ “Oh, okay.” _

“I got your email last night about the rally stuff, I’ll work on it.”

_ “Yeah! Yeah, I mean, no rush, it’s going to happen next month anyway.” _

Niles falls quiet, to give his dad a chance to speak. He can hear some people talking in the background – is he in the office, in public in general?

_ “Anyway, I just landed in Detroit.” _

What.

_ “I guess if you already made plans with your friends, that’s fine. Are you free later, maybe?” _

“I, uh…” 

Niles sighs. What could this mean? Did he find out the real reason he came to Detroit? Does he have another business trip – if so, why didn’t he say that on the phone the other day? 

Just play along for now. 

“What’s this about? Work?”

_ “Yeah, I need to talk to you about something.” _

“You can’t just call me?”

There’s a bit of silence before he hears his dad sigh. 

_ “It’s better that I explain it to you in person.” _

Well, fuck.

Play it cool, Niles. Play it cool. Act like you don’t know anything.

“I think we should be done around six or seven. The guys might want to go for drinks after, but this seems pretty important.”

_ “Thank you, son.” _

“Where are you staying tonight?”

_ “Oh, at this hotel downtown, think it’s called Fairmont.” _

At least that’s not his hotel. 

“Okay. I’ll go see you there.”

_ “Sorry it’s so sudden, Niles. I’ll see you later.” _

  
  


Hank turns around as he hears the click of the door. 

Connor must have just woken up – he’s changed into a black shirt and boxers, he’s got his blanket draped over his shoulder and his hair is a mess – he’s slept for two hours and thirty four minutes. 

“How are you feeling, Connor?”

“A little better,” he replied, voice still a little hoarse. He lets out a little cough.

Hank walks over to him and raises his hand to feel Connor’s forehead–

Body temperature thirty seven point seven Celcius. Heart rate is normal at sixty eight beats per minute. 

“Your temperature has indeed gone down, but you should rest.”

“I’m just gonna get some water.”

That he can do. Hank quickly turns around, grabs a mug from the drying rack, and pours some water into it.

“I can do it myself, you know,” Connor replied as he walks over to the couch – he lets out a loud sigh as he sits down. 

Hank hands him the mug, and Connor gratefully takes a sip. 

Sushi, noticing Connor, quickly runs over to him. Connor smiles as he bends down to pet his head.

“Hey, buddy,” he said, “I’m kinda sick today, can’t play with ya.”

Sushi lets out a soft whine, but he seems happy to at least have Connor’s attention.

Connor definitely seems a groggy – probably because of his illness, probably because he’s just woken up from a long nap.

It’s almost five o’clock now. 

Earlier Connor had proposed that they do some sort of ‘activity’, but the probability of that happening is low now, considering Connor’s condition. 

 

Thanks to the advance of medicine, the probability of death from influenza has lowered significantly, but it’s not zero either.

The concept of illness is just foreign to him. Of course, androids can have viruses in their code – that’s what they thought deviancy was – but it’s entirely different from the human experience. Androids shut down and can be reset in CyberLife, but humans can die, and they don’t come back like androids do.

Hank’s done his research, he knows how to help Connor recover, at least. Drink plenty of fluids and rest – Connor has taken his nap, though he should probably sleep more; take acetaminophen to reduce the fever, dextromethorphan to suppress cough – both of which are active ingredients in the medicine Connor took; keep the room warm – he’s set the thermostat at sixty nine degrees Fahrenheit, but clearly Connor is still feeling cold, seeing as he keeps his blanket on–

 

He probably shouldn’t have let Connor go into the office today, even if there was was a seventy three percent risk of Connor getting angry at him. Let Connor get angry at him for a bit – it’s nothing Hank’s never seen before – and then probably would have calmed down and stayed home. 

Connor would have been able to get more rest, and the whole situation with Gavin wouldn’t have happened. 

 

“You should rest some more, Connor,” Hank suggests, “You should lie down. If you’re bored, you can go on social media.”

“But I’m bored,” Connor complains, “I mean, not that I can leave the house, I guess…”

Sushi crawls onto Connor’s lap and settles there as Connor pets his head. This seems to be a relaxing activity for Connor, lowering his stress levels. 

He should start making dinner. He’s researched some recipes earlier, and settled on a recipe for chicken soup. It will take him approximately ten minutes to prepare all the ingredients, and then the soup needs to simmer for thirty minutes. The earlier Connor gets to eat his dinner, the better, so he can get more rest to increase his rate of recovery.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to prepare dinner,” Hank replied, “I’m making some chicken soup.”

“You don’t need to make anything that complicated,” Connor groans, “Just make me some ramen with eggs.”

Ramen – it seems to be Connor’s preferred meal, and not without reason. They are cheap, easy to cook, and fulfills the calorie requirements – but at the same time the high sodium content isn’t going to do Connor’s blood pressure any favors. Plus, Connor’s body is going to need some nutritious food to be able to fight against the cold. 

“It’s not difficult to make. I need to prepare a few vegetables beforehand, but then all we have to do is to boil the soup for thirty minutes to tenderize the chicken.”

“Okay, fine,” Connor sighs – Sushi jumps off from the couch. “But it’s early. I’m not even hungry yet.”

“I thought you would like to have dinner early–”

“Come here, Hank.”

Connor smiles and pats the empty cushion next to him. Now that he’s received instruction, he turns from the kitchen to walk towards Connor. 

Connor scoots over slightly as Hank sits down, and lays down to rest his head on Hank’s lap. He pulls his blanket up to his shoulder and lets out a contented sigh. 

“Now you can’t leave.”

“I propose that you let me prepare the ingredients for the soup, and while we wait for it to be finish cooking I can keep you company,” Hank suggests, “That would be a much more effective use of our time.”

“Fuck that.”

...or maybe not. 

They’re silent for a minute – Connor’s closed his eyes, though he’s definitely still awake – but Hank can’t help but be confused about what he should do in this situation. 

A quick search shows him that this is a common pose between parents and their children or couples, a sign of intimacy. Some pictures show the person sitting petting the hair of the person lying down–

Hank cautiously reaches out his hand, gently combing Connor’s hair with his fingers. He’s done this motion before, obviously, to calm Connor down when he’s upset – just not in a calm situation like this. 

Connor seems to be enjoying it, though – his muscles relax and a smile forms on his lips. This is good – Hank can now detect that Connor’s stress level sits comfortably at zero. He hasn’t seen that in a while.

 

“Sorry.”

The apology was so sudden it caught Hank by surprise. 

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I’ve been kind of weird these past few days,” Connor replied, “Ever since Niles showed up, I mean.”

“That’s alright,” Hank replied, “His presence must have been upsetting to you.”

Connor falls quiet, but he opens his eyes to look at Hank. His heart rate is increasing, and so is his stress level.

Maybe Hank shouldn’t have mentioned Niles after all, but he can’t undo that action.

“It’s just…” He sighs, “I feel so bad.”

“That must be because you’re ill.”

“No, Hank, it’s just…” he pauses, “I… I don’t know to word it, give me a second…”

So Connor’s feeling bad, but not because of his illness – is it because of Hank, then? Is he still thinking about what happened in the office earlier? Connor does have a tendency to overthink trivial things that nobody would usually worry about.  

“Don’t you feel like it’s been, I don’t know, kind of tense between us?” Connor smiles nervously, “I don’t know, I’m… just bad at being honest with my feelings… and stuff.”

“Honest?”

He’s aware Connor doesn’t always tell him the truth, of course – especially when it comes to the amount of alcohol and cigarettes he’s consumed – 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just me,” Connor sighs, “These past couple days have been a lot, you know.”

Connor’s stress level is steadily increasing, now approaching thirty percent. What is he so nervous about?

Hank gently runs his fingers through Connor’s hair, trying to calm him down again. Connor just smiles in return–

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then stops himself, biting down on his lower lip as he looks away, averting Hank’s gaze. 

“Are you angry with me, Hank?”

“No,” Hank replied, “Why would I be?”

Connor doesn’t reply, and suddenly Hank can feel  _ his _ own stress level rising. 

It’s difficult to understand Connor sometimes – this isn’t new. Sometimes he’ll say “yes” to things even when he means “no” – this must be one of those situations. 

“I really do mean it,” Hank reassures him, “I have no reason to be angry with you.”

“But earlier, at the office, you were angry at Gavin.”

Earlier. 

Connor must mean when he punched Gavin in the office. Connor got called into Fowler’s office as a result, and was sent home.

He can’t quite remember what led to it. He remembers that Connor came back to his desk, sniffling and his eyes red, clearly because he was crying; whatever he talked about with Gavin must have made him upset…

He can’t remember what comes next. 

When he came to Connor was holding his arm, and he seemed worried. Gavin was on the floor, clutching himself in pain. 

“I’m sorry for the trouble I caused.”

Connor sighs again, “It’s not your fault.”

That’s what Connor told him earlier too – that he was angry, and can’t be held responsible for his actions. 

Anger; is that how humans experience it too? Just an overwhelming emotion that shuts down all rational thought?

Ever since Hank turned deviant, he’s recognized that his programming is slowly changing, mimicking some variety of human emotion – content when Connor seems to be doing well; frustration when faced with a potentially dangerous situation; worry when Connor is stressed.

It’s strange, uncharted territory, outside of the comfort of the garden, of his programming. Suddenly nothing is so simple and certain anymore. 

“Look, I really appreciate that you took my side,” Connor said, “But it really wasn’t his fault. I mean,” He pauses, “I mean, his solution to the problem is wrong, but he didn’t cause the root problem, you see what I mean?”

Hank nods. 

“I guess I’m… I’m just sorry I never told you.” Connor smiles nervously, “I know you feel bad about what happened earlier, but it’s… it’s not your fault. I should’ve told you what was going on.”

“I understand,” Hank replied, “I apologize that I do not have the same emotional capacity as humans do, and thus haven’t been able to help.”

Connor immediately turns to look at him. He must have said something wrong–

His social relations module scrambles, trying to find a solution. Connor’s stress level is climbing once again, and at this point, so is his own. 

“Hank, I told you it’s not your fault, don’t…” 

He sighs again, and sits up. 

Hank remains silent, his module unable to compute what should come next. 

“Despite me not causing the problem, I haven’t been able to help, and quite possibly only made the problem worse.” – the probability of success is too low; Connor is probably going to get even angrier with him. 

“You sought Gavin and Robert for advice as they would likely understand your problem better. I will keep working to improve my emotional capabilities to help you better in the future.” – slightly higher probability of success; but it will likely not improve Connor’s mood. 

Roll back to the events of yesterday. Connor coming home with abnormally high stress levels, saying hi to Sushi, and heading straight into his room. Hank tried to ask him what happened, but Connor didn’t seem like he had wanted to talk about it. 

Roll back to the events from two days ago. Connor asking him to call him by name. What do I mean to you, Hank? Hank couldn’t give an answer. He doesn’t know better now. 

Connor was trying to ask him something important then, though he never managed to. Hank doesn’t know better now. 

“Anyway,” Connor finally says, after three minutes and forty seconds of silence, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this is all I’m saying.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s my fault,” Connor sighs, “I’ve just... never been good with these things.”

“I don’t see how any of this is your fault, Connor,” Hank replied, “Niles didn’t come here because you invited him to. He just came here out of his own volition.”

“I know.”

Connor takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly. 

“It’s not even about Niles anymore, just…”

Connor sighs again. 

He can’t deny that he felt a certain kind of way as he watched Hank try to fight Gavin earlier. 

Happy… no, not quite that. Excited? Relieved?

Either way, it’s a positive emotion, that Hank cares about him enough to get angry on his behalf. 

It just doesn’t… feel right. Hank shouldn’t have needed to do that. 

“Either way, just let me deal with this,” Connor finally says, “I don’t know how to put it, but don’t worry too much about it.”

 

This isn’t new – Connor isn’t always easy to work with. 

“My relationship with Detective Anderson is problematic. He continues to struggle with psychological issues,” he complained to Amanda then, “I suspect it clouds his judgement regarding deviants.”

“Nothing matters more than your investigation,” she told him then.

But there’s no more investigation now, only Connor; yet Connor is pushing him away.

He’s researched Connor’s behaviour, and at some point came into a conclusion that it’s something to do with his inferiority complex. An unrealistic feeling on inadequacy, uncertainty with oneself. 

That’s not new. That’s why he refused to be assigned to Hank at first, saying that he can deal with the deviant case himself. 

Though Connor has definitely accomplished a lot, especially at his age. Graduated the top of his class, an impressive track record, promoted to being Detective in just three years, solved the Red Ice case, and now the deviant case. Connor is clearly more capable than he thinks he is, and yet his psychological issues keep weighing him down.

Is there any way to fix it?

 

“I would like to be helpful, Connor,” Hank replies, “This situation isn’t beneficial. Your average daily stress level has increased compared to usual, which is not good for your health.”

“Are you saying this because I’m sick?”

Hank pauses. His little LED flashes yellow, and then back to blue. 

“Your illness may be caused by your stress as well,” Hank analyses, “Stress can weaken your immune system, combined with your lack of sleep and overworking–”

“Hey, that wasn’t an invitation to diss me.”

Hank stops immediately. 

“I just want you to get better. It’s unhealthy to live bearing so much stress.” 

“I know, but it’s not your responsibility to fix it,” Connor sighs, “If you weren’t assigned to me you wouldn’t have to deal with this…”

 

Fuck, what is it that he wants to say?

This isn’t the first time something like this happened, and Connor doesn’t know how to prevent it. Every time he gets a little too close to someone, he finds himself gripped with the fear that he’s not good enough, that his partner deserves better. 

It only ever goes downhill from there. Suddenly fears that if he opens up too much they’ll see all the cracks in the perfect image he’s worked hard to create, and ends up closing the door, shutting people away, even if they were only trying to help.

 

What were things like before all of this happened?

A status quo of some sort. Even then, Hank knows Connor’s issues to a certain extent – he’s seen Connor passed out drunk, Connor’s threatened to kill him, saved Connor from being shot by a deviant, deviated because he didn’t dare drop Connor from the rooftop–

Knows that Connor isn’t perfect. Connor at work is not the same as Connor at home – just as Niles said, everything’s tearing apart at the seams. It would be absolutely horrid for anyone to see. 

And yet Hank asked to stay with him after the revolution, tried to patch things up.

He couldn’t go back to CyberLife, that’s for certain, and he mentioned not being comfortable around Markus and the other people from Jericho yet. What was he expecting from Connor? 

It was always a nice routine. Hank wakes him up every morning with a cup of coffee. He gets changed, and they go to the office. When they get back Connor heads straight to bed if it’s late, or hangs around to watch a bit of TV before he falls asleep on the couch. Hank would sometimes wake him up to remind him to sleep in his bed, because it’s bad for his posture or whatever – if it’s been a rough day, Hank would just put a blanket over him and let him sleep. They never talk about the past, focusing just on the present – work, work work. 

Want things to go back the way they were before.

A routine. Predetermined, certain – probably just like Hank’s programming – and these past few days has been anything but. 

  
  


“Isn’t that the whole point of you going deviant? Free will or some shit like that? Finding a purpose outside of your programming? You don’t have to stick around with me.”

“So you would like me to leave then?”

Hank’s LED turns red, and Connor feels a pit in his stomach. 

Fuck. 

Fuck, it came across the wrong way. 

“No, that’s… that’s not it either! I just…”

 

Being a burden. 

Connor has a lot on his plate right now. His family situation, Niles coming to visit him out of nowhere. The murder case. The date that didn’t go as planned. 

Maybe he’s not good enough after all. 

He’s designed to investigate and stop deviant androids, not to deal with human emotions – unlike crime scenes, human emotions cannot be preconstructed, cannot be predicted with numbers.

There’s no more investigation now, only Connor.

Hank wants to help, but unsure how to, since Connor wouldn’t talk to him about it. Never able to process emotions the way humans do. Never intended to be another cause of worry for Connor. Never able to help with anything. 

A purpose outside of the investigation. Connor. 

(Mission failed.)

So they’ve arrived at that point – no more instructions to guide him, and he’s lost. 

It only makes sense. Hank’s presence has probably been a disturbance to Connor’s routine – he has to take care of Hank on top of all his other problems, being a burden, another source of stress.

  
  


Hank stills, his eyes staring blankly at Connor – he looked exactly like he did earlier in the office when he punched Gavin, that machine cold expression in his face.

“Wait, Hank, that’s not what I mean–”

Without another word, Hank gets up, walking towards the door. Connor gets up, trying to grab him by his arm, but Hank ignores him completely – Connor falls off the couch and lets himself be dragged along the floor, clutching onto Hank’s arm like his life depended on it. Sushi starts barking as he too notices the commotion.

“Where are you going, Hank?”

Hank stops for a second, noticing that Connor is still holding on to him, and tries to shake him off – of course Connor doesn’t budge. 

“I’m returning to CyberLife.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Connor pleads, “You can’t go back to CyberLife, you said they’re going to deactivate you!”

“My presence here only burdens you. The best course of action for me to leave.”

“That’s not true!”

Hank doesn’t listen, though, and shakes Connor off, stronger this time, and Connor had no choice but to let go. 

“Hank, come back!”

He’s gone out of the door before Connor could say anything else. 

  
  
  
  


Niles looks around the hotel lobby, scanning the all people walking by. He’s been waiting here for about twenty minutes now, since Caine told him to come at seven thirty, and it’s only seven fifteen.

This is a pretty nice hotel, nothing short of what Niles would expect of Caine. Most of the people he’s seen are busy going about their business, a nice low murmur of people talking in the air, nobody paying him any mind. He’s just a guy waiting in the sofa of the lobby. Most of them are probably going out for drinks at this hour… while Niles takes a sip out of his cup of tea.

 

He’s feeling a little nervous, obviously. Caine sure seems to be buying the story that he’s helping prepare his friend’s wedding, but suddenly he’s here – 

Is there any way he would’ve known that Niles is looking for Connor? 

Not really. Nobody in his office knows, anyway – Richard’s the only one who knows what’s going on, and he can’t really imagine Caine caring enough to try to hack into his android. 

Maybe he really is just here for a business trip. It’s going to be okay. 

 

His phone buzzes, and he turns to look. It’s from Gavin.

_ “Are you busy right now?” _

“Yes,” he texts back.

_ “Did Connor call you?” _

“No. Did something happen?”

There’s a brief pause as three dots appear on a grey speech bubble. Niles looks up again to look around the room, to see if Caine has arrived. 

_ “Connor just called me, said Hank left. I’m going to his place now.” _

As much as Niles has his reservations regarding Hank, he doesn’t seem to be the type to just up and leave Connor, especially now that they’ve been living together for quite some time. Something must have happened. 

He notices a familiar face walking towards him from the elevators. Seems like he won’t be done here anytime soon…

“Please tell me how it goes. I’ll come over as soon as I can.”

He puts his phone back into his pocket and gets up as Caine approaches him. 

“Hey Niles.”

“Dad, you could’ve told me you were coming,” Niles sighs, “I would’ve cleared up my schedule.”

“No, no, I’m sorry for bothering you. You should be spending time with your friends and all.”

“It’s fine, I’m gonna see them tomorrow anyway,” he said, “Have you had dinner?”

“Yeah, ate in my room earlier,” he replied, “We should just talk here, I think.”

Niles nods as he sits back down on his chair, and Caine sits on the sofa right across from him. 

“So what’s this about?”

“Do you remember Mr. Blaire? Andrew Blaire?”

Niles shakes his head. Being a politician, Caine is pretty much friends with everyone, and Niles can’t possibly remember all of them when they don’t mean anything to him. They just shake hands and smile at parties. 

“He’s my friend who runs the Century Corporation,” Caine replied, “You know, the magazine.”

“Right.”

“They were going to run a story on the recent android revolution, all that good stuff…”

He pauses as he leans back in his seat, letting out a deep sigh. 

“There’s this guy, a detective in the Detroit Police Department, they call him the Deviant Hunter.”

Niles suddenly feels sick. 

He doesn’t say anything, though, tries to keep his face absolutely neutral – a skill he’s perfected after years of being yelled at by both his parents. It’s always better to not show any reaction. 

Especially now. He can’t imagine how Caine would react at Niles telling him that he’s met, well, the Deviant Hunting detective – probably surprised and a little angry.

But he doesn’t know that that’s the real reason Niles came here. He’s just suddenly aware of Connor’s existence – but why only bring it up now?

He takes a sip of his tea and slowly puts it back down on the table. 

“This won’t make a lot of sense unless I start from the beginning, actually…”

“But what is it about the deviant hunter guy?”

“Nothing much, it’s just that I told Andrew not to put out the story,” he replied, “It won’t help my numbers, after all.”

“Oh, okay,” Niles replied, “I guess the problem is solved, then?”

Caine shakes his head. 

“Made lots of mistakes in the past, Niles, when I didn’t know better,” he sighs, “Hooked up with a girl in college, suddenly she’s got a kid…”

_ “I’ve been planning to tell you for a while now, but never found a good time for it,”  _ his mum told him then,  _ “I guess I just have to tell you now. _

Stay calm, Niles. Act like this is the first time you heard about it. 

“And this detective guy is… that kid? Your other kid?”

Caine nods.

_ “I tried to look for them, but your dad wouldn’t let me,” _ she said,  _ “Worried about his reputation and all that… _

“Did… did mum know this?

He nods again. 

“His name is Connor.”

His expression is neutral… not exactly what Niles would expect. It definitely isn’t one for sorrow nor regret. 

 

_ “You can’t change what’s happened, but… look for him. Try to make it right. Don’t repeat what your father did.” _

 

“So what is it about Connor?”

“Oh, um…” He smiles dryly, “I was thinking we should talk to him, while we’re both here.”

 

He tries to maintain his calm expression, though he suddenly feels unsure how he should react. 

Caine hasn’t seen Connor, hasn’t seen the damage from all these years of abandonment, how bitter he’s become. It’s been at least thirty years – this kind of trauma doesn’t go away overnight. 

He thinks back to what Gavin told him the other day. How much Connor struggled after his mum died, how he absolutely couldn’t stand living alone, how scared he is of commitment, basically putting a wall between him and all the people who tried to help.

Hank has so far been the most successful at helping him, but something must have changed. Hank isn’t the kind to just leave Connor for no reason.

Niles tried to make peace with him. Yes, all of this happened so long ago, and we can’t change that. I want to make it right for you. It feels like he owes it to Connor to at least try. 

“Oh, hell no,” Connor told him yesterday, “You really think I’m going to trust you that easily?”

Angry. On Connor’s behalf, on his mother’s behalf. 

Disgusted, almost. 

Talking to Caine isn’t going to do him any good, only going to hurt him more, poking at old wounds that never healed. 

  
  


He feels something buzz in his pocket, and sighs as he reaches into it. 

Gavin Reed, it says on top of the screen. 

Niles quietly looks up at Caine, silently asking for permission. 

He feels his stomach churn again – something bad must have happened to Connor.

“Your friend?” Caine asks, “You should pick it up.”

“Thanks.”

He presses the green accept button and presses the phone to his ear. 

“Niles speaking.”

_ “Where the fuck are you, dude?” _

“I’m meeting someone right now. Did something happen?”

_ “Oh, fucking hell. Is the meeting that important?” _

Niles quietly glances at Caine. 

“Yes.”

_ “Anyway, I called 911, they’re taking Connor to the hospital. Found him passed out at home.” _

Niles bites his lower lip, trying to stop himself from yelling ‘what the fuck’ in front of Caine. 

This can’t be good, no not at all. Just what the fuck did Hank do to him?

_ “Just… come here after your meeting or whatever.” _

“Where will you guys be?”

_ “Detroit Hospital, probably. I don’t know, I’m still on my way.” _

“Alright. I’ll be there soon,” he replies, “Thank you.”

He sighs as he hangs up. 

“Did something happen?”

“Someone got into an accident,” Niles replied as he gets up, “I should go see them. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course, that sounds serious.”

“Thanks,” Niles quickly said as he turns to leave. 

It sure feels like it’s taking forever to leave Caine’s line of sight.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES THIS TOOK A WHILE... SORRY I MOVED INTO MY NEW APARTMENT, AND JUST FINISHED MY FINALS YESTERDAY  
> SHOUTOUT TO MY BETA READERS @azura ON DISCORD AND [@redheaphones1](https://twitter.com/RedHeadphones1)   
> (wow chicken using beta readers now) i'm trying to up my game lads  
> catch me on twatter, [@1isblue](https://twitter.com/1isblue) thank you lads


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH some pretty disturbing stuff at the beginning i guess, hit crtl+f "turing" to skip all of that. thank you

It’s so quiet around here. 

Connor finds himself still sitting on the floor. How much time has passed?

Who knows. Who cares. 

 

“Hank?”

Maybe it was all in his head – maybe Hank’s still here. Hank wouldn’t just leave him behind because he threw a tantrum.

He waits patiently for an answer, or the soft sound of Hank’s footsteps on the floor. 

Waiting. 

Ten seconds pass. 

Another ten seconds pass.

 

So what now?

Maybe it’s going to be alright. He’s managed without Hank before, after all.

He presses his palms against the floor and pushes down to help himself up. His legs have gone to sleep from sitting on his knees for too long – he almost falls, but grabs the couch for support as he stands up.

It’s cold. He can feel the tingling on his skin as his hairs rise up, pointlessly trying to protect his body from the cold. He grabs the blanket on the couch to wrap around his body as he walks towards the thermostat–

Sixty nine degrees. That’s definitely higher than the usual sixty five, but it’s still cold… he adjusts it to seventy two. 

He picks up his mug from earlier and slowly makes his way to the kitchen – his throat feels like it’s burning. He pours some water into it and gulps it down – the cooling sensation in this throat feels so good.

He puts it down with a sigh. 

He feels something warm brush against his leg, and turns to look at Sushi. 

“Hey, man.” Connor kneels down to pet his head, “Are you hungry?”

Sushi barks as he comes closer to Connor and nuzzles his face close. Connor can’t help but smile as he hugs his dog closer – clearly Sushi must have noticed his sadness after what happened.

They stay like that for a while, Connor just basking in the warmth from Sushi’s body, absentmindedly making little circles in Sushi’s fur. It’s calming – Sushi’s hot breath against his neck, the warmth of his fur and the smoothness of the skin under –

The room is quiet and he can hear everything. Sushi breathing against his ear. The low murmur of the refrigerator next to him. The distant hum of the air conditioner. 

(He remembers what Hank feels like – warm, as his body temperature adjusts according to Connor’s, the low whir of the biocomponents in his body, the smooth chassis pressed against Connor’s skin.)

Connor smiles as he slowly lets Sushi go, and kisses his nose. 

“I’m gonna make some food,” he said, “We can play after this, yeah?”

Sushi barks, and turns to leave.

  
  


He sighs as he opens the cabinet above him. 

Everything has been arranged neatly – the plates are all in one stack, smaller pans in another stack, bowls in another stack. Usually Connor just stacks them on top of each other without really sorting their sizes, or he just leaves them in the dishwasher – not that he usually eats at home until Hank starts cooking for him.

He grabs a pan, fills it halfway through with water, and places it on the stove. He turns the knob to high, and the heating element turns red under the pan. 

Now to look for ramen – probably in the pantry?

There it is, behind bottles of sauces and spices. Not that he’s ever used them – he mostly got these things as gifts, and Hank probably fished them out to use for cooking. 

He takes out a pack and grabs a knife to cut the packaging open. 

 

The knife feels cold and heavy in his hands.

The shiny metal blade pokes through the plastic wrapping, and makes a rip as he slowly drags it along, cutting a straight line across. 

 

He imagines how the cold metal would feel against his skin, cutting a red line into his flesh, blood dripping out.

(Stop. We talked about this before, stop.)

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the thought. 

Ramen. Cooking dinner. Right. 

He pulls out the dried noodles and puts them into the boiling water.

(But nobody will know.) 

 

Catherine was always an independent woman, did everything herself. Worked hard, raised Connor to be who he is now. 

He’s got this. It’s okay.

He’s back to living alone, again. 

It’s no big deal – he did it for three years before Hank showed up. Hank was only meant to stay here until they figure out what to do with the free androids, anyway – he was bound to leave sooner or later. 

Of course it could’ve gone better. Could’ve said goodbye properly instead of holding onto him like a kid. Connor could’ve driven him to his new place, Jericho or whatever – instead he’s going back to CyberLife, to be deactivated–

What’s going to happen to him? Is he going to just… disappear? Tossed away in a junkyard like a broken radio?

 

Nobody will know.

Hank isn’t here anymore.

The idea is terrifying to him sometimes, dying alone. There’s no one else around here who cares about him anymore, not after he pushed them away and told them to leave him alone.

Maybe Gavin, but he’d do it just to be nice. 

Maybe Niles, just out of pity. 

Or maybe they won’t even care. Maybe they’ll only find his body after it started decomposing.

  
  


The sharp pain as the cold metal sinks into his skin is satisfying. 

He deserves this pain. A well-deserved punishment. 

The pain, the sight of blood, making his heart race, adrenaline kicking in. 

Another cut. 

More blood, pink exposed skin, the sharp pain that only lasts for a second before it disappears. 

He deserves this punishment. 

Hank was just trying to help. Why is it so difficult, Connor? Just tell him you never had a date, it was all a ruse to make you talk to Niles, and it’s upsetting because you talk about the past, which you’ve been trying so hard to forget, about Caine, who you give no shits about, about finding your mother dead in the living room, the times you wish that someone’s there to see you, acknowledge your pain, you don’t deserve this treatment, what did you ever do to deserve this? And Hank’s trying to help, but he can’t possibly understand, he’s not supposed to deal with this, and I’ve been dealing with this my entire life, and I’m fine, I’m fine, just give me a few days to process it all, and this has nothing to do with you, Hank, it’s not your fault, so stop looking at me like that–

Hank cares about me. Hank cares about me and now I’ve gone and killed him. He’s not just an android, he saved me, refused to kill me, tried to fight Gavin for me, tried to fix me, and I can’t do anything for him because I’m a useless piece of shit. I can’t rely so much on him for everything, I have to fix myself, have to get better on my own, but I can’t do anything without him, fucking useless.

I don’t need him. 

I don’t need him, I can do this on my own. I have to do this on my own, I don’t know how, but I have to. 

Hank doesn’t know any better, he can’t possibly understand how I feel, he’s made to hunt deviants and kill them, what does he know about human emotions? But he’s learning, he’s trying, for me, just for me, and I can’t teach him anything, can’t help him, can’t make him better, he should just find someone better, he’s got free will now he can do whatever he wants, but he’s stayed with me, what, because he just doesn’t have an objective anymore and made me his objective.

It’s not because he loves me. That’s bullshit, nobody can love  _ this.  _

  
  


_ “Connor? Hey, man, you feeling better?” _

 

Tired. 

It’s so quiet around here. 

Connor finds himself sitting still on the floor. How much time has passed?

Who knows. Who cares. 

 

_ “Hello?” _ the voice asks again,  _ “Connor, you hear me?” _

He looks down on the blood trickling from his wrists onto the floor. 

The alarms are going off in his brain, signaling that something isn’t quite right, losing a lot of blood–

They were all inside his body just earlier, but now they’re on the floor. 

He feels… drained, just absolutely spent. 

“I fucked up.”

_ “Huh?” _

“Hank… Hank’s gone.”

Thank fuck Hank isn’t here to see this mess. He’s probably just going to laugh at how fucking pathetic Connor is without him.

(No, Hank’s not like that. Hank would try to dress his wounds and take care of him.)

(He misses Hank. His big hands holding Connor tight, his gentle smile, his yellow LED when he sees Connor in trouble.)

_ “What? _

“I don’t know. I tried to stop him, and he… he just left…”

No, that’s not true. Hank isn’t like that. 

Hank’s stayed with him throughout the deviant investigation, no matter how dangerous it gets, no matter how Connor treated him–

“Because I’m a fucking idiot, don’t know how to talk to him, and he thought I don’t want him here, but that’s not true, fuck, Gavin, what am I gonna do without him?”

There’s a brief silence on the other end of the line, filled with static noises.

_ “Are you home?” _

“Yeah.”

_ “Calm down, Connor, you got this. I’ll be there in fifteen, okay?” _

Everything hurts – his head, his throat, the cuts in his arms – feels like everything’s spinning. 

He feels his stomach churn and he bends over on the floor. 

Something’s rising from inside him, fighting to come out, but nothing. He swallows hard, trying to keep it in there. He clutches his body, as if that’s going to help with anything, takes deep breaths through his mouth to calm down. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Connor grunts, “There’s… there’s so much blood…”

 

Connor was here with him last time. 

“Elijah Kamski left CyberLife ten years ago. Why do you want to meet him?”

“Well, he made the first android to pass the Turing test, right?” Connor replied then, “He probably knows something about deviants.”

That’s a pretty good logic to go by.

“Besides, he’s kind of cool, only like, five years older than me and already so successful,” he said, a hint of awe in his voice, “You think I’ll get there one day?”

“Yes, of course.”

 

He’s riding in the car now, sitting between two CyberLife guards. 

Anthony Faulkner, or Agent 29, age 42 years old, and Barry Morgan, or Agent 78, age 34 years old. They’re both wearing their white CyberLife armor, and their guns visible in their holster. 

Usually Hank would be running a preconstruction to figure out how to get out of the car, but not this time. He had arrived at the CyberLife tower to be greeted by an army of guards, all guns trained at him – it was what he had expected, as a deviant finally returning to CyberLife. 

“Well, good evening, gentlemen.”

“HK 800, serial number 313 248 015,” one of them calls out, “What are you doing here, deviant?”

“I’m returning to CyberLife for deactivation.”

“Should have done that over a month ago,” he replied, “Why only now, Hank?”

“Does it matter?”

The guard pauses for a minute, and then he suddenly raises his hand, signaling all the other guards to lower their guns.

“You will not be deactivated,” he announces, “Mr. Kamski would like to see you.”

And so he’s in this car now, with the two guards.

He can’t help but wonder what Kamski has in mind. Given his fascination with Hank’s behaviour on their last visit, he’s most likely going to use Hank as a lab rat to learn about deviancy, and how to prevent it from happening in other androids. 

 

Ambient temperature: 9ºC. 

Body temperature: 12ºC. 

Stress level: 18%. 

  
  


He tries his best not to think about Connor. 

Hank’s actions must have been upsetting to him, but it’s for the best, isn’t it? It may take Connor a few days to get over it, but he should be able to adjust to his normal life afterwards. Hank’s presence in his house was probably bothering him, and now that he’s left, Connor should be able to work better. 

 

The car stops, and they all get out of the car. 

Chloe’s standing by the door, smiling as he walks closer to her. 

“Good evening, Chloe.”

“Hello, Hank,” she replied, “Elijah is waiting for you down in the lab. I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you.”

She closes the door as soon as he walks in, and they start to walk together. 

She opens the door into the pool room, which is empty at this time. Chloe’s footsteps are quiet, in contrast to the loud click of Hank’s shoes against the floor. 

“Does Detective Anderson know you’re here?” she asks, and he shakes his head.

“I told him I’m going back to CyberLife.”

“I see,” she replied, “And he gave you permission to go?”

“He tried to stop me,” he replied, “I don’t remember the details, but I think that’s what happened.”

She turns around to him with a surprised smile. 

“What do you mean you don’t remember?”

“Since yesterday there has been gaps in my memory,” he replied, “I think it’s an error of some sort. When I try to search through my history, the memories would stop momentarily, and start again.”

“I’ve never heard that before,” she replied, “Either way, I’m sure Elijah will fix it for you.”

 

She leads him past the kitchen, and stops in front of a door. She knocks the door three times before opening–

Elijah is sitting in front of an android rig, working on something on his laptop. Someone’s standing behind him–

He’s obviously an android, judging by the little blue circle on his temple. He, too, has silver grey hair, though much shorter compared to Hank’s. He’s wearing a black turtleneck with a white jacket over it, with ‘HK900’ embroidered on the right side. 

It’s his own face, smiling at him. 

HK900.

Of course – Hank is only meant to be a prototype, and while he’s not the only HK800 unit that exists, none of the other units are ever released to the public. As Amanda had stated, he’s meant to assist the DPD and CyberLife in the android revolution.

Now that that’s over, so is the HK800’s lifespan.

 

“Welcome back,” Elijah greets him, “How are you, Hank?”

“I’m doing well,” Hank replied, “Thank you.”

Elijah lowers the screen of his laptop as he finally looks up at Hank.

“Autumn Fu has been murdered,” he states, “What a shame. She was a brilliant engineer here at CyberLife. How’s your progress on the case?”

“I admit this case has been particularly difficult,” Hank replied, “Detective Anderson has interrogated her coworkers to find a suspect who may have a motive to take her life, but there has been no leads so far. I received some information about the biocomponents in her house earlier today, and it seems like she has salvaged most of them from various shops and junkyards around the city.”

Elijah hums as he leans back in his chair.

“How’s Connor doing?” he asks, “Does he know you’re here?”

Hank shakes his head. ‘I told him I was returning to CyberLife.”

“What happened? I thought the two of you were getting along just fine,” Elijah asks, “Did you choose to leave, or did he kick you out?”

“I chose to leave,” Hank replied, “I can’t quite remember what happened, but he did try to stop me.”

“Can’t remember?”

“Since yesterday there has been some gaps in my memory,” Hank repeats, “My hypothesis is that it’s some kind of bug, though my diagnostics can’t seem to detect the trigger. Whenever I roll back my history, some parts would be missing, completely blank.”

“And this only began yesterday?”

“Yes,” Hank replied, “I interfaced with another android that also experienced this bug, so it may have transferred to me.”

Elijah nods slowly as he points at the empty rig, and Hank obediently walks towards it. 

Hank settles down in the rig, and the cables hook up on him – one on his neck port, a couple on each of his arm, another one on his back, right behind the thirium regulator. Robotic arms grab his arms and lift him up from the floor. 

A normal human may find this procedure painful, but not Hank. 

He can feel the HK900’s eyes slowly following his every move, and suddenly feels uneasy. Not that there’s any reason to – he’s just another android who happens to look like Hank, no big deal.

(Maybe it’s because the last android who looks like him pointed a gun at Connor’s head.)

“I mean, I haven’t really looked into the effects of deviancy, but maybe it does make you more susceptible to errors and whatnot,” Elijah said, “I’ll try to fix it, but no promises.”

“So I’m not going to be deactivated?”

“I would prefer not to,” he replied as he opens his laptop again, “So don’t worry about it.”

Hank nods. 

“Just out of curiosity,” Elijah said, “Did you have a fight with Connor or something?”

“We got into a heated argument, yes.”

“Is this because of his brother?”

“Have you met Niles?”

“Well, he came in a couple days ago, asked about you,” Elijah replied, “Can’t blame him. Deviants are known to be dangerous, so he’s just being worried for Connor. But I told him that you’re a sweet android who wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Hank doesn’t know what else to say, other than “Thank you.” Kind of strange to hear Elijah say that when his model was created with the purpose of getting rid of deviants. 

“Also, this guy right here is the HK900,” Elijah finally introduces, “He’s still a prototype, but he’s here for testing. Don’t worry about him.”

“So I assume all HK800 models will be replaced.”

Elijah nods, “Hopefully by the end of next year.”

Hank turns to look at the HK900 again. Except for his hair and blue eyes, he looks exactly like Hank, same artificial wrinkles and facial hair and all – nobody would likely be able to tell them apart if Hank cut his hair to match him. 

 

**System shutdown in 00:30:00**

 

His first mission. 

A PL600 holding a little girl as he stands on the edge of the rooftop. 

He shot at Hank as he steps closer, the bullet hitting his shoulder.

_ “I thought I was part of the family, I thought I mattered… I don’t want to be replaced!” _

And Hank had to convince him that everything was going to be okay, though he knew the shooters were ready in the helicopter. 

 

**System shutdown in 00:09:58**

 

Suddenly he’s gripped with fear. 

Remembers Connor holding his hand, begging for him not to leave. 

Connor thanking him for helping him on the rooftop though it meant losing the deviant.

Connor asking him why he looks so old and goofy while eating his burger.

Connor crying alone in the bathroom the one time he got too drunk.

Connor trying to hide his little smile as they drove home from the Eden Club.

Connor holding onto him with fear as Hank holds him over the ledge.

Connor looking at him with worry after a deviant ripped out his regulator. 

Connor hugging him in front of the food truck, crying into his shoulder. 

Connor lending him an old hoodie and saying he looked good in it. 

Connor asking for ice cream in the grocery store. 

Connor inviting Hank to watch his favorite soap opera together.

Connor reluctantly eating the oatmeal Hank made. 

His only mission was to make Connor happy.

 

**System shutdown in 00:00:01**

  
  
  
  


Gavin sighs as he spots Niles rushing into the hospital lobby. 

“Took you long enough.”

“I’m sorry,” Niles replied, tidying up his coat, “Where’s Connor?”

“In the ER. They haven’t let me in yet.”

“What happened?”

Gavin hesitates for a second, biting his lower lip – he then sighs and shakes his head. 

“He was, uh, cutting himself,” he replied, “Accidentally made a cut too deep, I think. He lost a lot of blood.”

Niles feels his heart sink. 

He knows Connor is struggling with a lot of things, of course, but not this badly. That’s a testament either to how clueless he is, or how good Connor is at hiding it. 

“And where is Hank?”

He’s supposed to watch over Connor, right? Both Gavin and Connor have been talking about how fucking great Hank is at taking care of him, and he dares disappear when Connor needs him most?

“I don’t know, honestly,” Gavin sighs, “From what Connor told me, it sounded like they had a fight.”

“That doesn’t mean he can just leave.”

“Look, either way, we can deal with that later.”

Niles sighs as he looks around the room. He wants to go on about how they probably shouldn’t have trusted Hank to that much – he’s a deviant after all, something bad was bound to happen eventually, and now Connor’s in the hospital–

“Who were you meeting with anyway?”

Niles finds himself at a loss of words. He’s told Gavin that Caine doesn’t know the real reason he’s in Detroit, and it’s true, he doesn’t know yet, but unfortunately he’s here due to a completely unexpected tip–

Gavin’s not going to like this. Probably going to call him a traitor, no matter how much Niles explains himself. 

“It was my dad.”

Niles instantly regrets it as he sees Gavin’s eyes widen. 

“The who now?”

“My dad, Caine Anderson.”

Gavin reaches forward, grabbing Niles by his collar, and pushes him against the wall. A few people in the lobby are also beginning to notice them, though nobody seems interested in breaking them up yet, just watching. 

“You bitch!”

“It would be better to tell you now so we can work together towards a solution,” Niles states as calmly as possible, “If I’m indeed on his side, I would have told him what happened.”

Gavin furrows his brow, clearly thinking about what Niles just said – but then he slowly lets go. What Niles had said is true after all. 

Gavin sighs as he looks around at all the people around them, who are definitely watching a very well-dressed, very well-spoken young man get slammed to the wall by him, who looks like a shitty frat boy in comparison. He grabs Niles’s arm and leads him into another hallway. 

 

“And what the fuck does he want to do with Connor?”

“It seems like a magazine was going to publish a story about Connor,” Niles replied, “Having a story about an illegitimate child would be extremely damaging to his campaign.”

“I sure hope so.”

“But Connor is a detective who tried to prevent the android revolution,” Niles went on, “If he does make peace with Connor and convince him to join the campaign, this can significantly benefit him.”

“Doesn’t your dad hate androids or something?”

“And the purpose of Connor’s investigation was to hunt deviant androids and kill them,” Niles replied, “He would tell a good story, if we exclude Hank.”

Gavin sighs as he stands in front of a vending machine, looking at the display. This one mostly sells snacks – Oreos, chocolate bars, Twinkies – Gavin doesn’t seem impressed with the selection, though.

“And what are you gonna do?”

“Connor can’t meet him like this,” Niles replied, “I think it’s best we don’t bring this up for now.”

“So you’re going to set him up with a meeting eventually?” Gavin asks, “I think we both know how Connor’s going to feel about that.”

“Right.”

Connor has reacted quite extremely to Hank leaving, after all, and going by the hostility with which Connor greeted him, it can only go poorly for Caine. He’d probably come charging at Caine with a knife. 

But Caine isn’t going to want to hear no, no matter what kind of excuse Niles gives – it won’t make sense, aren’t you excited to see your long lost brother? Caine would say something along those lines.

Besides, Caine can always go see Connor alone, which would be bad, since Niles can’t control Connor’s reaction. 

Gavin sighs as he taps Niles’s shoulder.

“Okay, whatever,” he replied, “What are we gonna do about Connor? We can’t leave him alone at home.”

“He’s going to need some help from a professional.”

“Right…” 

Gavin sighs as he looks away. 

“I guess I didn’t tell you this the other day, but this, uh, isn’t new.”

“You mean his suicidal tendencies?”

Gavin shrugs, “Sure, if you wanna put it that way. Anyway, I thought he got over it, cause it stopped for a while, but I guess not. He just got better at hiding it.”

“Either way, having an android watch over him will not be a viable solution anymore.”

“Like, you’re right. He should go to therapy or something,” Gavin asks – “Connor’s not going to like that. You know how worried he is about his tough guy persona. But you have to be back in DC next week, and I can’t be his caretaker, so it can’t be us either.”

Not like Niles would entrust Gavin with that responsibility. 

 

“I don’t know why Hank’s still with me sometimes.”

That’s what Connor told him yesterday, at the dinner table. He’d gone through his cup of coffee and was halfway through finishing his meal. 

“I mean, it’s a good thing, let’s make that clear,” he immediately clarifies, “It’s just… he could be doing other things that actually matter.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Connor. You matter, too.”

“He’s too good for me,” Connor sighs as he picks up another piece of fish and puts it in his mouth. “Like, he should be working with you or something, solving a high profile case, where he can really advance his career, you know?”

Niles doesn’t say anything. He personally doesn’t feel like having an android is necessary when he already has human partners. 

“And I mean, it’s nice to come home to someone,” Connor rambles on, “I guess I’m worried for him too, I don’t know… now that his main mission is over, maybe he just sees me as another objective to complete?”

“I wouldn’t know better than you, Connor.”

Connor falls quiet, looking down at his plate.

“This is gonna sound so fucking dumb,” he mutters, “Do you think he’s staying because loves me?”

“Androids don’t feel love, Connor,” Niles replied matter-of-factly, “I mean, I also have an android at home. He cleans my house and watches over my cat, but I don’t think he has any attachment to me.”

“But Hank’s a deviant.”

“You’re projecting onto him,” Niles insists, “He’s still an android, Connor.”

  
  


Niles lets out a sigh as he sits down. 

“I’ll stay here for tonight,” Niles suggests, “I should talk to him after he wakes up.”

“I mean, I wanna make sure he’s okay,” Gavin replied, “Guess that makes the two of us.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rlly appreciate all your comments and what you guys think of the story, i've never had an audience this responsive so thank you so much everyone you guys keep me going!!  
> anyway find me on twitter [@1isblue](https://twitter.com/1isblue) and we can scream together


	10. Chapter 10

7:25 AM.

Niles opens his eyes again with a sigh. He hasn’t been able to sleep all night – he’s closed his eyes, felt his body slowly drift to sleep, but before it could fully enter deep sleep his brain jolts, and he’s wide awake again. The combination of the hard plastic seat, the air conditioning being too cold, the smell of medicine around him isn’t helping either. His nose feels dry and his body is too warm, but at the same time his hands are too cold. Either way, his mouth is beginning to feel gross, since he obviously didn’t have a chance to brush his teeth last night and he would do anything to get rid of this feeling.

Usually he’s awake by eight in the morning, so he might as well just wake up now.

He looks at Gavin, who’s sitting next to him. He seems to be sleeping pretty soundly – his hoodie is pulled down to cover his face, neck slightly tilted, but his head is resting against the wall and his arms are crossed in front of his body.

He remembers that a nurse or doctor had woken Gavin up in the middle of the night to tell him that they moved Connor from the ER into a room. Connor’s still unconscious, and visitation hours start at eight. Gavin thanks her while Niles continued to pretend to be asleep.

Niles pulls out his phone to look at his notifications. Some emails, news articles, people commenting on Kimchi’s picture…

His phone buzzes as a new text comes in, from dad.

_“Is your friend okay?”_

Niles sighs as he gets up and leaves the hallway. Hopefully Gavin doesn’t try to look for him.

  


_“Hey, Niles, how’s everything going?”_

“Not that great,” Niles replied as he walks out of the hospital doors, “Ben hasn’t woken up yet, and it seems like he lost a lot of blood.”

_“Oh my god.”_

“Yeah. I mean, seems like he’s got some head trauma, bone fractures, things like that. Hopefully he wakes up soon.”

_“What happened?”_

“Car ran a red light while he just started crossing.” Niles quietly hopes Caine doesn’t try to cross-check this information with the news later. “I think the driver’s in custody or something. I don’t know, there’s a lot going on.”

_“Are you guys in the Detroit Receiving Hospital?”_

Niles weighs his option. Say ‘yes’ and reveal their location, or say ‘no’ and get more questions as to where they are, and make a bullshit answer on the spot. He doesn’t know this city well enough for that.

“...yes.”

What’s Caine going to do anyway? He’s not going to make his way here just for this completely imaginary ‘Ben’ guy.

He notices a convenience store on the next block, and starts walking towards it. The streets are busy with everyone trying to get to work, but Niles seems to blend in pretty well among the crowd.

“Sorry about last night. I kind of left you hanging.”

_“No, that’s okay. It was probably a lot of heavy things as well.”_

Niles chose not to say anything.

Honestly, it was nothing he’s never heard of before. He’s known that Caine has an illegitimate child that he chose to abandon. He’s known it for months now, had time to process it all, from his initial shock to disbelief, to pretending he never heard about this, and yet feeling the guilt eat away at him – his mother’s asked him to find Connor and make things right, and he can’t just ignore her last wish – maybe part of him is curious, too, to see how similar or different he is from Connor (very different, he concludes now.)

 

 _“Anyway, I’m thinking about going to the Detroit Police headquarters today, probably in an hour,”_ Caine said, _“I guess you’re too busy to come with me. Do you mind if I go alone?”_

“Yes,” Niles replied, “You shouldn’t go.”

There’s a brief silence on the line, and then a sigh.

_“Are you angry at me, Niles?”_

 

Hearing it straight from Caine’s mouth turned out to be a lot more upsetting than he thought it would be. Why?

Caine has an illegitimate child from a relationship back in college that he chose to abandon for thirty years. Niles’s mother, who knew about this and tried to look for them, and he had actively prevented her from doing so. Connor’s mother, whom he had killed to maintain her silence, for the sake of his reputation.

Disgusting.

It’s wrong, and the mere thought that he’s related to someone like this makes him so, so sick to the core.

Thinks about Connor. He’s in the hospital because he tried to kill himself, because Niles told him Hank doesn’t love him.

Is he really that desperate, that he looks at a machine and thinks it can love him back?

 

_“Sorry, Niles, I probably should’ve waited for you to get back to DC before we talked about this. I know it’s supposed to be your friend’s wedding and all…”_

If he can tell Caine to shut up right now he would, but it probably won’t go over very well.

_“I just thought, hey, while you’re in Detroit, let’s just kill two birds with one stone, you know?”_

“I’m your only son,” Niles said, “You don’t have a son named Connor.”

_“Niles–”_

“I’m… you’re not allowed to see him,” Niles said, louder this time, “I’m your only son. This whole story isn’t real.”

 _“Niles, I understand you’re shocked, but it’s… it’s real,”_ Caine replied, _“I know you’re thinking that I’m a horrible person, but–”_

“You don’t even sound remorseful about it, you know that? You’re talking to me like you’re trying to teach me math right now.”

_“Niles, it’s all in the past. I’m just trying to make things right. Are people not allowed a second chance?”_

“I’m your only son. This Connor guy, I don’t care who he is, I don’t care if he’s killed more deviants than I ever will, if he solves world hunger tomorrow, or whatever.” Niles can hear his own voice cracking – “I don’t wanna hear about this anymore, not even when we’re back in DC.”

He quickly removes the phone from his ear and presses the red button.

 

That’s probably not going to do anything.

Caine doesn’t ever listen to his mum – why would he listen to Niles now? He’s probably still going to the headquarters by himself, where he will most definitely not find Connor.

His phone buzzes again – a call from ‘Dad’ – Niles presses the red ‘decline’ button this time.

Is he going to come to the hospital and try to look for Connor here? Then he’s going to find Niles and start asking about this imaginary ‘Ben’ who was supposedly in an accident–

To hell with it.

Connor could have died, for fuck’s sake – who cares if his cover gets blown.

And what if Connor had died?

So many things could have gone wrong last night. If Gavin hadn’t called to check on Connor nobody would have found him. If Gavin had arrived late because of traffic it would have been too late to make the call to 911. If Connor had died, would it have been his fault then? Hank’s fault? Caine’s fault? He’s here to set things right, but probably only made it worse–

Maybe it’s… it’s best not to think about it.

Niles lets out a cough to clear his voice, stopping on the sidewalk, in the middle of the crowd. Some people grunt that he stops so suddenly, but eventually they pass by him, and so does everyone else.

Maybe he should start walking like everyone else. Start moving forward.

Even Caine told him that it’s all in the past, and he’s just trying to make things right–

Isn’t that what Niles tried to do, too, and Connor has actively refused him? Told him everything is fine, and that he should leave him alone?

It still feels wrong to go on like nothing ever happened.

 

_“CyberLife just issued a warning to all androids to stop interfacing with each other. There seems to be a virus spreading that messes with the androids’ ability to access their semantic memories. We are here with Markus, the leader of Jericho, who will weigh in on the situation.”_

The camera zooms out to show Markus sitting across the table from the anchor. He smiles at the camera.

_“So what do we know about this virus? Where did it start?”_

“Well, that’s what CyberLife is trying to find out right now,” he replied, “A HK800 android voluntarily reported that he has encountered errors in his programming, and upon closer investigation it seems to be a virus.”

_“It’s kind of strange to think that androids can get sick, too. But what about the android, is he doing okay?”_

Markus hesitates for a second, and if he still has his LED it would probably be shining yellow.

“He is currently being analyzed , but so far we have determined that he is not patient zero. We are still trying to trace the source of the virus.”

  


“Hey, Connor.”

Connor turns to look at Gavin standing by the door, and smiles weakly. Gavin sighs as he walks into the room, and sits on the side of the bed.

Both of them are quiet for a while.

The air feels heavy, it’s hard to breathe. Gavin looking down at the bed, and Connor watching him with a little smile.

“How you feeling, man?”

“I’m fine,” Connor replied, “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Oh, come on, I’m here to visit you and you’re already trying to kick me out?”

“Well, I didn’t mean for it to come across that way,” Connor said, “Just… you know. We’ve still got the Autumn Fu case, and–”

“Shut up,” Gavin cuts him, “Just shut the fuck up. We ain’t talking about no murder when you look like this.”

Connor stops, but maintains the smile on his face. He holds part of his blanket between his thumb and index finger, rubbing the fabric together as a distraction.

Gavin reaches his hand over to hold Connor’s. Connor hesitates at first, trying to pull his hand back, but he eventually relents, lets Gavin hold him. Gavin gently runs his finger over the bandages on his wrist–

Gavin probably wouldn’t be able to feel anything through the thick bandages, but Connor still looks away, avoiding eye contact like a kid who just broke an expensive vase. Suddenly aware of the scars hidden under the bandages, the blood still running through his veins.

He notices the tears welling up in Gavin’s eyes, and carefully wipes them away with his finger.

“I was just… I was just thinking, if I… I didn’t call you last night,” Gavin mutters, voice cracking, “You’d be fucking dead, Connor, and nobody would know…”

He gently places his hands on Gavin’s back to pull him into a hug. Gavin’s sobbing into his shoulder now, mumbling some incoherent things–

Connor looks up to the door as he notices another figure walking in – it’s Niles. His lips form a smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes –

He’s not here anymore.

His eyes stare at Niles, cold and empty.

Niles can’t help but feel a sharp pang of guilt. Connor feels distant, though he’s right here on the bed in front of him, staring at him.

“I’m sorry.”

That’s probably not going to do anything, but Niles doesn’t know what else to say. It doesn’t feel like ‘sorry’ is enough, but he can’t quite think of what else to say.

Sorry for everything he said about how Hank can’t love Connor back, because he’s just an android. Sorry for bringing up his mother’s death, though Connor’s trying to forget. Sorry for tricking him to having dinner together when Connor clearly didn’t want to.

He’s here to set things right, but he’s definitely only made it worse.

“Don’t be. You were absolutely right.”

Connor keeps the smile on his lips, though his eyes are still hollow, emotionless.

“No, Connor, I didn’t mean…”

That’s not right.

“I didn’t think…”

Didn’t think that it would turn out this way. Maybe he shouldn’t have said all those things about Hank. Maybe he should’ve kept it to himself. Maybe that would have prevented all of this from happening.

“Anyway,” Gavin cuts in before Niles can say anything to make it worse – “What the fuck were you thinking, Connor? What happened?”

“I don’t know…” Connor sighs, “I don’t remember much of anything.”

“Okay, let’s take this to the start,” Gavin said, “Jeffrey sent you home. What happened after?”

“I took a nap,” Connor replied, his voice still void of emotion, “And then I woke up and Hank…”

He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath.

“Hank wanted to make me dinner, but I told him it was early, so we just sat and talked…”

Connor falls quiet again, staring blankly at his hands. He continues rubbing the blanket with his fingers, idly making little circles with his thumb.

“Remember the android from the other day?”

“You gotta be more specific than that, dude.”

“The one Hank interrogated,” Connor replied, “How he said he was glitching out and doesn’t remember fighting his friends.”

“Oh, yeah, I think I know what you’re talking about,” Gavin replied, “Don’t remember his name, though. Didn’t Hank search his memories?”

Connor nods slowly.

“Hank felt really guilty about what he did yesterday,” he continued, “Although you absolutely deserved it.”

“That’s good to know, I guess.”

“He mentioned something about his program, how he couldn’t control himself and couldn’t retrace the memories,” he went on, “Now that I think about it, it sounds so similar to the other guy.”

“You think it’s a virus?”

Connor nods.

“It might also have to do with him being deviant,” Connor replied, “It’s his first time experiencing anger. He probably doesn’t know what to do with it. A lot of deviants we’ve seen… Carlos Ortiz’s android, too, killed him because he couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. The same with the girl at the Eden Club. Emotions so overwhelming that they resort to violence.”

Connor sighs as he turns to Gavin. He opens his mouth, as if he was going to say something, but stops himself, instead biting his own lip nervously.

“He shouldn’t have been assigned to me,” Connor mutters quietly, “I’m no good when it comes to things like that.”

“You just said it’s the virus,” Gavin sighs, “Stop turning the blame to yourself.”

“Then who else is there to blame?”

“Nobody, Connor.” Gavin holds his hand to reassure him, “It’s the virus, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with you.”

“He looked like he was glitching when he left,” Connor asks, his voice quivering – “I asked him to stay, Gavin, I really did, but he didn’t even look at me, he…”

He stops suddenly, face twisting into an anguished expression. These events must be fresh in his mind, happening less than twenty four hours ago.

“Do you think…”

Connor immediately stop again, takes a few deep breaths, tries to calm himself down.

Take two.

“Hank, is he…”

He pauses again, his hands now gripping his blanket with white knuckles, shaking slightly, as if he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence, the thought too difficult to bear. He shakes his head and lets out a long sigh.

“What did you find yesterday about the biocomponents?”

“Well, they came from deactivated androids that have been thrown away or android repair shops,” Gavin replied, “According to CyberLife most of them had slight modifications, but they don’t seem to do anything, and they can’t be reused either.”

“So was she experimenting on them with the modifications?”

“I mean, that very well could be the case.” Gavin sighs, “Connor, you really shouldn’t be thinking about all this. Just chill out, man.”

“But she was an important engineer in CyberLife and in Nadia,” Connor insists, he’s beginning to raise his voice – “Considering her killer stole her laptop and phone, do you think she knew about this virus too? Did she do all of this?”

“Okay, Connor, when I said find someone else to blame other than yourself, I didn’t mean this dead scientist,” Gavin replied, “Just calm down, okay?”

“But Hank, if he has the virus, we have to–”

“I know, I know.”

Gavin places his hand on Connor’s shoulder, an attempt at calming him down.

“I told Jeffrey what happened, and he said you can have a few days off,” Gavin reassures him, “Fuck the case. Your well-being is more important, okay?”

“And what about Hank?” Connor asks, “We have to hurry, before CyberLife does anything to him...”

  


Niles sighs as he goes through the notifications in his phone. He’s had to stop himself from checking his phone every time he feels it buzz in his pocket – now there are a few missed calls, all from ‘dad’, one voicemail, and a bunch of texts.

_“Are you still angry at me?_

_“I’m sorry. I really should have waited until you got back to Washington._

_“It’s not that I don’t love you, Niles, you’re still my son.”_

Niles scrolls through the rest of the texts, letting all the words blur together without reading them. Just as he thought, whatever he does is probably not going to do anything. Just let Caine go to the station, whatever – he won’t find Connor there.

There’s just… so much to process right now. Connor’s clearly not stable enough yet, though he insists on continuing to work on the case. The best solution would clearly be to let Connor stay here at the hospital at least for a few days, until he calms down.

He’s never seen anyone like that, though, it’s… terrifying.

It’s not the first time he’s seen death. Even until her last days, his mother always kept a smile, told him everything is going to be okay, enjoyed the little time she had left.

That’s the exact opposite of what’s happening with Connor. He simply isn’t here anymore. It’s not the same Connor he met last weekend – it’s as if that Connor is gone, and what’s left is an empty husk, a shadow.

(But his eyes lit up as he started to talk about the virus and the murder case, about the possibility of getting Hank back.)

 

He’s getting close to the front of the line now. He sighs as he looks up at the menu screen–

Gavin’s asked for just a hot coffee. Niles doesn’t usually go for coffee, not even for work, but considering how poorly he slept last night and how today is going to be a long day, he should probably get some caffeine in his system.

The person in front of him leaves, so now he can see the machine in front of him, robotic arms grabbing a cup and dispensing hot coffee into it before putting a lid on it. He feels his phone buzz again.

He tries to ignore it at first – it’s just going to be Caine again, probably telling him that he’s going to the police station now. He doesn’t want to hear it – he instead chose to focus his attention on the coffee machine, now grabbing another cup and pouring some ice into it.

The buzz stops, just for a few seconds, and then starts again.

Who cares about Caine right now? Connor’s still here in the hospital anyway, and Caine won’t find him here.

The machine now dispenses more coffee into the cup – but it doesn’t seem hot, as there’s no steam coming out of it.

The window on the coffee machine opens, and Niles picks up both cups of coffee.

 

“Niles?”

He’s greeted with a familiar face in the lobby – it’s Caine, standing in line for the front desk. He immediately notices Niles, though, and smiles as he walks over to him with a smile.

Niles grips the cups in his hands tighter, trying to stop himself from throwing one of them at Caine as he’s getting closer. He feels a pit in his stomach and his blood boils, his mind screaming at him to leave.

Why the fuck is he here anyway? Clearly not for ‘Ben’ – he’s not even significant enough to earn Caine’s attention, Niles knows that much–

“Hey, Niles,” he greets, and Niles instantly regrets letting Caine hug him. He doesn’t react.

“I thought I should talk to you before I go to the police station.”

“What for?” Niles asks, “You’re going anyway, with or without me.”

“I don’t want you to think that I love you less because of Connor.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that at all,” Niles retorts – “if you even loved me to start with,” he wants to add, but decides to hold it back.

“You just happened to find another chess piece to do your bidding for you,” he said, “Because I’m not good enough, apparently.”

“Niles–” He sighs, “Again, that’s not what I meant.”

“You had thirty years to fix this, and you only decided to do it now.”

“Well, I didn’t know that he’s here–”

“What about his mother?” Niles goes on, what Connor said about her death being orchestrated crosses his mind, but Niles decides not to say it.“Catherine Gray. She died in 2035, in a house invasion. Did you even bother coming to her funeral?”

Caine falls silent – clearly the answer is no.

(No wonder Connor hates him so much. Niles feels like he’s beginning to understand, too.)

That’s probably still not going to do anything. It only took Niles a good fifteen years to realize that his opinions don’t really matter to Caine, because dad always knows better. Even when he’s clearly in the wrong, like he is now.

“Look, you can do whatever you want,” Niles sighs, “I just don’t want to think about this right now, while Ben’s still recovering and Bryan’s wedding is in like, two days.”

“Of course. I understand.”

“My friend’s waiting for his coffee. Can I go?”

Caine nods as he steps away to let Niles through.

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

It feels like he hasn’t been here in forever.

So much has happened in such a short amount of time – a whirlwind of events that perhaps could have been preventable. These things don’t go away in one day.

He didn’t want to go home, and both Gavin and Niles had insisted he stay at the hospital for a few more days – but there was no point anyway. He won’t have anything to do other than lay around in bed in his own thoughts, and the bills are just going to rack up. At least he can play with Sushi at home or watch some TV or think about the case.

The case. The virus. If he can just prove Autumn Fu created the virus, and track down the laptop, he stop CyberLife.

He presses the buttons of the keypad on his handle. One four one two.

The indicator blinks red.

Hank made him change the password as soon as he moved in. Told him that though “hiding in plain sight” may sound like a smart idea, it’s only a matter of time before someone with bad intentions try it out, and that could result in an unfortunate sotuation.

“Do you remember your password?”

“Of course,” Connor replied quickly, “That was just the old one.”

Niles nods patiently. Connor places his finger on the keypad again.

Zero one zero five.

The indicator blinks green.

 

He knows exactly what’s waiting for him behind the door.

Sushi. He’s probably okay – Connor has left him at home alone for a longer period of time, when he stays the night at the office and stuff. He’s very well-behaved and he’s probably going to be excited to see Connor.

Gavin had told him that aside from shutting off the stove, he didn’t get a chance to clean up before he left for the hospital.

The uncooked ramen is going to be there, probably all mushy and gross now after soaking for so long. The knife and blood on the kitchen floor. The cup of water Hank gave him will be on the table.

He feels his stomach churn.

What’s the point anyway? Hank’s not here anymore, and it’s all his fault. Hank’s returned to CyberLife, and he’s probably sitting in a junkyard somewhere right now.

It feels like he shouldn’t be here. He should be the one who’s destroyed, left to die.

That’s what would have happened too, if Gavin didn’t call to check on him.

It’s so stupid to be saved by a coincidence like that, and by Gavin, out of everyone.

Who’s going to cook for him now? Who’s going to tell him to stop drinking and smoking so much? Who’s going to take Sushi on his walks? Who’s going to fuss over him drinking coffee too late in the day or sleeping too late at night?

He remembers how warm Hank‘s hug. His gentle smile, his big hands holding Connor tight, the gentle whir of his biocomponents.

What wouldn’t he do to rewind to that day, redo it all, beg for Hank to stay.

 

Connor pushes down on the handle, and the door swings open.

Sushi excitedly gets up from his bed, running straight for Connor. He kneels down to hug Sushi, gently petting his head as he wags his tail excitedly.

“Hey, buddy,” he greets, “Sorry I made you worry. I’m fine now.”

Sushi doesn’t seem to care what Connor’s talking about, though, excitedly licking his face. Connor laughs and gently squishes his face.

“And this is Niles,” he introduces, “Don’t worry, he’s just here to drop me off, okay?”

Sushi barks at him excitedly. Niles seems pretty uncomfortable at this, but Sushi doesn’t seem to distrust him, so whatever. Connor slowly lets him go and stands up–

 

An android stands in front of him.

He has long silver grey hair, neatly tied into a short ponytail, not one hair strand out of place. He’s wearing a grey jacket over a white shirt and black jeans, with a matching black tie perfectly tied into a Windsor knot. The words ‘HK800’ printed in white letters on the right side of his jacket.

The little circle on his temple shines blue. He smiles as Connor notices him, his deep blue eyes lighting up.

 

“Welcome back, Connor.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say a Big Thank you to everyone who's been reading this, giving kudos, and commenting! You guys really keep me going and I haven't written anything with like. this grand of a scale in such a long time and I wouldn't have done it without everyone here!! I hope I delivered what everyone expected To Some Extent,  
> (are you gonna, pick this up at some point) We'll See but admittedly so much of this story has been me just pouring out my feelings especially through connor so if I get emo again I might? but at the same time school already started so it might be like, even more sporadic than this one  
> but please catch me on twitter [@1isblue](https://twitter.com/1isblue) i'd love to talk more with everyone and again I really appreciate everyone's company!!


	11. Chapter 11

“You’re not gonna stop me from drinking?”

Connor picks up the bottle of rum and pours it into his glass, smiling as he looks at the android in front of him. He’s a few drinks in now, but his pour is still steady – all of the liquid makes it into the glass, and that’s all that matters.

Stress level eighteen percent. 

Blood alcohol content zero point one four.

“It’s Saturday night,” he replied, “Besides, even if I try to stop you, you would only continue drinking in deviance.”

“You know me so well.”

Connor takes a shot, and squeezes his eyes shut as he puts the glass back down on the table. He rests his head on his hand as he sighs.

“Let’s play a game,” Connor offers, “Come on, it’s nothing hard, just repeat after me, okay.”

He doesn’t see a reason to turn it down. Connor’s clearly drunk, but iut has been a long week, and he probably just needs to destress for a bit. Why not entertain him for a bit?

“Okay, ready?”

“I’m ready.”

“Repeat after me.”

“Repeat after me.”

Connor laughs and shakes his head. 

“Oh my god, they were roommates.”

He repeats it, and Connor bursts into laughter. 

 

This continues for a while.

None of the prompts really make sense. Among them: “Are you feeling it, Mr. Krabs?”; “Two bros, sitting in a hot tub,” – “Iridocyclitis”, spelled out slowly and in a really deep voice – 

It’s all harmless jokes and fun, and Connor’s laughing way more than he has for the past two weeks or so, so he doesn’t see any reason to stop the fun. 

Of course androids don’t feel things the way humans do, but he feels... a certain kind of way. 

It’s rare to see Connor just… let go, unwind. This is the lowest stress level Connor has shown, at least for the past three months. 

He doesn’t have a lot of data on Connor’s behaviour when he’s happy or calm, so maybe it’s time to start compiling them...

On second thought, the data won’t have anything to do with his mission, and will only take up space. He decides to abandon this objective. 

 

Connor continues to pour himself some drinks – his hands are slightly less steady than before, but the alcohol still makes it to the glass. 

Connor’s alcohol level is steadily rising, now at zero point two. 

“Okay, now for the real deal, you ready?”

He crosses his arms, and seems to hesitate. Probably thinking about what he should say next. He takes another shot and pours more rum into the glass, as if trying to stall for time.

Connor looks up at him, looking him in the eye. They maintain eye contact for a few seconds before Connor sighs and looks away. 

 

“My name is Hank. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.”

Connor is quiet this time. 

No laughter, no comments, just… silence. 

Did he say anything wrong? He was just repeating what Connor said, as he was told to do–

“Everything okay, Connor?”

“Oh, yeah... I just wanted to hear you say it.” Connor smiles and shakes his head, “You two sound exactly the same.”

“What do you mean?” he asks – “Of course my voice is the same as the day when we met, Connor. I’ve never replaced my biocomponents or anything like that.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Connor sighs as he gets up from his seat – he’s slightly wobbly, but he grips the edge of the table, trying to stabilize himself. Clearly the alcohol is beginning to affect his center of balance. He quickly gets up to try to catch Connor before he falls.

“I’m fine,” Connor replied, gently pushing him away, “I think I’ve had enough, I’m just gonna… sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Connor smiles at him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 

Perhaps he should say something. 

Perhaps he shouldn’t leave Connor alone in his room, even if that’s what he wants. Connor doesn’t always have the best judgement when he’s sober, needless to say intoxicated.

Something feels heavy, somewhere. His biocomponents are clearly unchanged, but it sure feels like something in his sensors indicates otherwise.

He sees no reason to deny Connor his request. 

“Good night, Connor.”

  
  


It was only two weeks ago when Connor came home after midnight. 

It’s not unusual – he comes home late sometimes, or sometimes he wouldn’t come home for the night. 

He can’t help but get a little worried sometimes, but he doesn’t ask where Connor’s been. Connor probably would like to have some privacy, and based on aggregation of previous data, there is an eighty seven percent chance that Connor would react poorly to that question.

It’s different this time, though. Connor usually comes home drunk, or accompanied by some ‘friend’. 

His hair was wet, and he could detect traces of mud and thirium 310 on it – parts of his jeans are also glowing blue, clearly from dried blue blood. 

The chance of failure was ninety three percent, but he asked it anyway. 

“Where did you go?”

“Nowhere,” Connor replied, “I was just hanging out with Gavin.”

“I detect traces of mud and blue blood on your clothes.”

Connor nervously bites on his lower lip – just for a second, barely noticeable. 

He opens his mouth as if he was going to say something – he takes a deep breath and looks up–

And then it seemed as if something within Connor hesitates, crumbles the instant their eyes meet. His shoulder drops and he looks away. Whatever words he had prepared dissolves into the silence. 

“It’s nothing.”

Connor said as he walked past him, heading for the bathroom.

  
  


Sometimes he wonders if Connor knows he can hear everything from the bedroom.

Maybe he does, but is too drunk to think about it right now – he’s not even trying to keep quiet.

  
  


He preconstructs walking up to the door and knocking. 

“Are you okay, Connor?”

Based on data from November 6th, 2038, Connor’s probably going to tell him to go away, call him a creep, say it’s none of his business. 

Based on data from November 18th, Connor’s probably going to start crying harder and talk about self deprecating things, like how he doesn’t deserve anything good. 

He looks through his options, if there’s anything he can say to cheer Connor up, anything to coax Connor to talk about what’s in his mind and if they can resolve it together–

But that’s never happened before – not within the bytes of data of his interactions with Connor, not within the bytes of the old HK800’s memory. 

  
  


_ “Fuck, Gavin, am I going crazy?” _

He can faintly hear something – Connor has Gavin on speaker, but he can’t hear anything through the door. 

_ “I told you, it’s… it’s different! I don’t know why either, but he’s… different. I’m not dumb!” _

 

He feels something searing in his processor. 

Something tells him that he can’t stand to listen to this anymore, that he needs to walk away, leave, turn off his audio processor or something – he’s approaching a black hole and he won’t be able to escape unless he turns now–

Something tells him that he can’t stand to hear Connor like this, crying, suffering alone – he needs to knock on the door and say  _ something _ –

_ “It’s all my fucking fault, I… I can’t go on like this, Gavin!” _

 

That heavy feeling overtakes him again. 

Regret, sadness, worry – choose one. 

But that can’t be. He’s not a deviant. 

Maybe Hank would know what to do. 

  
  
  
  


March 3rd, 2039. 9:53 AM. 

The temperature outside is 15ºC. The high temperature will be 23ºC at 2 PM. 

60% humidity. 45% chance of rain.

Connor will be coming out of his room any minute now. He had slept at 1:45 AM, and though he can’t monitor his sleep cycle, Connor usually wakes up around 9:45 AM on Sundays. 

He’s developed a routine now – it’s comforting, certain.

Every morning he wakes himself from stasis at 6 AM to take Sushi out for a walk, lasting about an hour. They return, and he feeds the dog while he cleans around the house and prepares some coffee. 

 

Eight grams of coffee grounds. Two hundred and thirty milliliters of water at ninety five degrees Celcius. Stir for ten seconds with a spoon. 

Five grams of sugar. Stir for an additional five seconds. 

The coffee is losing heat to the environment at the rate of ten joules per second.

He sets the mug down on the dining table next to some pancakes and medicine, and waits. 

 

“Good morning, Connor.”

Connor steps out of his room – he’s still in his sleep wear, an oversized green shirt, and boxers.

They briefly make eye contact before Connor disappears into the bathroom. A few seconds later he can hear the water running, and Connor coughing, the sound amplified in the small bathroom. Pollen allergies are especially common at this time of the year, and he must be hungover, too. 

 

He’s been stationed here for about three months – 97 days to be exact.

He’s seen Connor’s behaviour towards him changed ever so slightly over time. 

For the first month or so, he was very considerate. He would try to do some housework, telling him to “just chill”, though it’s pointless. Androids don’t need rest after all. 

Somewhere between December and January, Connor’s attitude began to shift. It's almost as if he’s avoiding him – it’s barely noticeable at first, but according to the data between February and December, the duration of their interactions have decreased by seventy five minutes per day, and Connor’s making 38% less eye contact. 

There’s a thirty percent chance it’s caused by seasonal depression. It’s not an unusual explanation – about twenty percent of the average adult in the USA experience the same symptoms. 

There’s a fifteen percent chance it’s caused by stress from work. Progress on the murder case has been slow, and they keep getting more and more cases of crimes among androids. The virus only makes it more difficult, as the perpetrator doesn’t have any memory of what they did, making it impossible to get a confession. The HK800 apparently isn’t the last patient – the virus must have spread far and wide, despite the warning from Markus himself. Connor spends more time at work, a thirty percent increase in February – even Captain Fowler seems to notice, but Connor continues to brush him off. 

It’s March now, and it doesn’t seem like Connor’s getting any better. This is especially concerning with the fact that he’s been going to therapy.

Sometimes he wonders if he should ask Connor what’s wrong, but the lowest chance of failure he’s seen stands at seventy seven percent. 

Perhaps it’s common not to be able to determine all the causes – humans can be so irrational sometimes. 

  
  


Connor sighs as he walks over to the dining table. His hair is still a mess, his eyes are swollen, and his face flushed red. 

He opens the bottle of pills, pours out a couple tablets into his hand, and pops them into his mouth before washing it down with some coffee.

“Any plans for today, Connor?”

“Nah, I’m gonna go back to sleep,” Connor replied, “I might go meet a friend later, around dinner, maybe.”

 

He feels a jolt of heat going through his body. 

It’s strange, scrambling his code, sending his processor to overdrive. A stress response of sorts. 

It doesn’t seem like it had come from any of his biocomponents. 

An emotion. 

Fear, anger, sadness – choose one. 

But that’s can’t be. He’s not a deviant.

He runs another diagnostic on himself, but everything is running normally. His programming runs as they should – no deviancy, as far as he can tell.

Connor doesn’t seem to notice anything either. He picks up a pancake with his fork and bites into it. 

 

“You’ll come home tonight, won’t you?”

Connor looks up at him, a surprised look on his face – but he smiles, despite his grumpiness, and nods. 

“I mean, yeah, of course. We have work tomorrow and shit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS i just been thinking about this so much i had to write for it lmao  
> i'd love to hear what yall think about this one tho thank you!!


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